"Two Days."

"Four. Bare minimum if you want a decent Pan." You know that you know that quote . . . I admit it would be much more difficult if I hadn't watched the movie the other day. What's impressive, though, is that Allen stayed awake through the entire thing--quite a rare feat for him. Usually all it takes for him to fall asleep is about 30 seconds of non-movement. I wish it were as easy for me; I woke up just after 4 a.m. for my third trip to the potty, and I could not go back to sleep. So I started reading. Yesterday I picked up a Lamaze book (since I have been a slacker and haven't taken any classes . . .). It is quite interesting, and it basically tells me that everything that will happen in the next couple of days is unnatural and unhealthy. First, I should have chosen a midwife instead of an OB; I should have considered a 'birthing center' with a big fat whirlpool instead of a hospital; induction is not the best thing for either mother or baby; and I should do everything I can to avoid getting an epidural or using pain medication at all, etc. etc. Part of me is a bit panicky because I seem to have done everything wrong. But another part of me says "Bah." This is, technically, a high-risk pregnancy since I have the old Gestational Diabetes, and there is a lot that could go wrong. A hospital is the best place for me to be, since Benji may need some interventions to stabilize his blood sugar once the cord is cut. And I'm okay with that. I like my doctor, and thanks to the non-stress tests and such, I know that baby is healthy and good to go. I know a lot of research has gone into the design of the labor and delivery rooms at the new hospital, so they are probably quite friendly (here's hoping, anyway!). I'm not opposed to getting an epidural, but I am going to put if off for as long as possible. I want to be able to move around--I think that will help more than being drugged and bed-bound. For me, anyway--I cannot judge anyone else's birth experience, and I can't base my own solely on what others have done. So that's the plan. It also depends on who the anesthesiologist is--some of those guys are arrogant, incompetent jerks and I will not let them touch me. Sometimes ignorance can be bliss, but I'm glad I will know who that person is--the one who could be sticking a 5" needle into my spinal canal. You may call me crazy, and I'd probably have to agree with you. Some of my friends at work threw a small baby shower for me yesterday. It was very nice of them, and those who couldn't come to the "Princess" shower were able to attend yesterday. None of them resent me for not working--they all knew how tired and crabby I was toward the end--and that makes me happy. I'm still a bit disappointed in myself. I am feeling pretty good in general, my blood pressure is normal (usually) and my baby is happy, but I feel like I should be working. I do realize that it is probably because I'm not working that I'm feeling good; it's just hard to justify it in my little mind. Well, it's time to poke the old fingers again (can I just tell you how much I LOVE testing my blood sugar four times a day?! It's my favorite!). Thanks for reading. :o)