It Means So Much To Me

I know that I have become desensitized to death. We hear about it on the news: "Three people died . . . two people were killed . . . etc." We read about it: "200 people dead after earthquake, etc." Those kinds of figures just spill off the lips of reporters like they are nothing, and they are repeated nearly every day. I tend to listen to it, feel bad for a moment, and move on with my life. Not this time. Last night, I was about to write a blog post on my lovely weekend with my family in Logan. I was sitting in the living room with the laptop, and I had the news on. The lead story was a murder investigation. They said that a 33-year-old mother of two from West Valley had been killed in her home. My first thought was, "I wonder how old my friend Kim is now," since I knew she had two kids and lived in the area. Then they showed a house number that looked familiar to me. When they said her name, my heart stopped for a minute. It's my Kimmy. And she's dead. I worked with Kim at Primary Children's for more than two years. I helped her with her math homework. She gave me a ride home sometimes. She was one of those people who you can't help but admire. She was funny, a hard worker, and a great mother. It all seems like a bad dream. Why would someone kill Kim? I just can't comprehend how or why someone could do something so horrible to such a good person. Death is a part of life. Tragedies happen, like when my friend Josie was killed in a bike accident, or when my brother John died unexpectedly. But this . . . has really thrown me for a loop. With John, I truly felt it was his time, and that Heavenly Father was in control. With Josie, it was a hit-and-run accident, and there was someone to point the finger at (the driver was later convicted of negligent homicide, though Josie's family didn't press charges). I think someone was arrested tonight, but until now, there has been no weapon, no sign of forced entry or sexual assault, and nothing was stolen. The thing that really breaks my heart, though, is that her children found her. Every time I think about those poor kids, I want to cry. It makes me want to hold my baby and kiss him a bit longer, because Kim can't hold her babies anymore. Life really isn't fair.