They Did Not Notice Me

10-10-10.  That doesn't happen very often, and I have not written in a few weeks, so I thought I'd mark it somehow.

Unfortunately, I don't have a lot to say right now.  I started a rather negative post last week, but halfway through I got very frustrated with my life and left it as a draft.  You don't need to hear me go on and on about how much my life sucks, because it's really not that bad; I just lose sight of the goal entirely too often.

One thing about driving Mom's car is that she doesn't have a CD player ("Welcome to the 90's, Mr. Banks!").  Gigi does have one, even if the speakers are blown.  So, ever since I have been Gigi again, I have had "No Line On The Horizon" in it.  I just listen to it over and over; such a great album.  You can read what I wrote about it last year here.  Anyway, the song "Moment of Surrender" has been my favorite for a few weeks now.  Here are the lyrics:


Moment of Surrender
--U2

I tied myself with wire
To let the horses run free
Playing with the fire
Until the fire played with me

The stone was semi-precious
We were barely conscious
Two souls too smart to be
In the realm of certainty
Even on our wedding day

We set ourselves on fire
Oh God, do not deny her
It's not if I believe in love
But if love believes in me
Oh, believe in me

At the moment of surrender
I folded to my knees
I did not notice the passers-by
And they did not notice me

I've been in every black hole
At the altar of the dark star
My body's now a begging bowl
That's begging to get back, begging to get back
To my heart
To the rhythm of my soul
To the rhythm of my unconsciousness
To the rhythm that yearns
To be released from control

I was punching in the numbers at the ATM machine
I could see in the reflection
A face staring back at me
At the moment of surrender
Of vision over visibility
I did not notice the passers-by
And they did not notice me

I was speeding on the subway
Through the stations of the cross
Every eye looking every other way
Counting down 'til the pain would stop

At the moment of surrender
Of vision of over visibility
I did not notice the passers-by
And they did not notice me

Yes, this song has made me cry on more than one occasion.  Actually, I'm crying now just writing about it.  That's a good sign that I should stop writing now.