It's All In Your Mind

I think that November is National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo).  Maybe that's all in my mind, but I need to be better about blogging, since this is basically my journal.  I have one I write in when I'm really pissed off, but no one should ever read that.

Since I'm lacking in inspiration most days, here is a prompt from the NaBloPoMo website:

What toy from your childhood do you still have in your possession?

I have a small bean-bag type doll named Wilbur.  I don't think I came up with the name (I'm pretty sure the name is on the little tag).  He is extremely dirty, he has a long nose and a sad face and on his belly is written: "I Need Love."  For some reason I just can't bring myself to throw him away . . . so he sits on the dresser in my little man's room.

On a totally unrelated topic, I have been really bad about reading my scriptures for, well, for a long time.  I have excuses, but none of them are very good or justifiable. The other night I picked them up and flipped through them, hoping for a little message from Heavenly Father.  I got it here, in Doctrine and Covenants Section 93.  (For those of you who may not know, I believe the Doctrine & Covenants, or D&C, to be modern revelation from the Lord, i.e., scripture.)

42 You have not ^ataught your children light and truth, according to the commandments; and that wicked one hath power, as yet, over you, and this is the cause of your ^baffliction.

  43 And now a commandment I give unto you—if you will be delivered you shall set in ^aorder your own house, for there are many things that are not right in your house.

Yes, there are many things in my house that are not right.  It is definitely not in order (read: messy), but there are other things missing from my house too.  Most especially among those things out-of-order are my priorities.  I haven't been putting the Lord first in my life.  I don't do everything for His glory; I'm just trying to get by day to day.  I have been in 'survival' mode for so long, I have forgotten what it's like to be engaged in the work of the Lord.  I look back at my time as a missionary with extreme fondness, because I knew who I was.  I knew what I was doing.  And I knew I was exactly where Heavenly Father wanted me to be.  I haven't felt that kind of approbation in a very long time, and I miss it.  I want it back.  But getting there will be tough; it will require work on my part, so I need to summon up the energy from somewhere.

I did manage to get some cleaning done today, trying to literally put my house in order, because I know I feel better and happier when I'm not surrounded by messiness.  I know I'll never be one of those great housekeepers, who manage to keep their homes and children and lives organized.  Baby steps, I suppose, are the way to do it.  ("Baby steps, get on the bus.")

I do need to go bed, but I'll try to post something every day this month.  Baby steps, become a real blogger.