Don't Fade Away

This has been a rough week.  Thursday was particularly brutal.  Benji had pooped in his bedroom sometime before I got up, so I had to clean up after him.  He managed to get some behind his bed, so I had to pull it out from the wall to wipe it up.  While I was pushing the bed back into place, I heard a "crunch" in my elbow.  It hurt and was weakened immediately.  I texted McCall (my friend, the ortho PA) to see if she could fit me into her clinic that day.  She couldn't on Thursday, so I made an appointment for Friday.  When Allen came home from work, he convinced me to go to InstaCare.  That was fine: they took some x-rays, gave me a prescription for pain meds and sent me on my way.  I was pretty useless the rest of the day (I called in sick to work), and the Tylenol w/Codeine made me zone out even more.  Truthfully, I just don't like narcotics.  I'd rather feel pain than have my brain be fuzzy like that.

Once the pain pill wore off and I was more coherent, I checked my facebook.  I was shocked to see this:

I didn't really believe it at first.  I knew Aaron and Ann from High School.  Actually, Aaron and I were born on the exact same day.  The three of us had classes together and graduated together, and I absolutely adored her.  This little burden sat in my heart for a couple of days, and I kept checking the obituaries in the Herald Journal because I needed proof (pretty sure I was in denial).  And today, I found this:

So it's true.  My beautiful friend has left this world.  My heart is aching, but I'm grateful that I have next Tuesday off so I can go to the gathering in her honor.  {Pictures are from Aaron's Facebook page}

Ann in Paris

Truth be told, I didn't know either of them very well, but we were friends.  In high school, we had several of the same classes.  I would sit next to her in AP Biology, and we would talk about music and cute boys (though she only ever really had eyes for Aaron).  I actually saw them shortly after I returned from my mission, and shortly after they were married: we were the only three people in the Utah Theater for a screening of "Le fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain."  She deleted her Facebook account for a while, but when she came back, I befriended her immediately.  This was the last conversation we had last May:

• Conversation started May 3
• 

  4:50pm

  Wilde Annimal

  Dearest Mary,

  I got off fb to work on my dissertation, and because I was offending endless high school friends. Please edit me. I would hate to offend or alienate you. You you one of my favs! Hope you and yours are well! Much love, Ann
• May 3
• 

  9:02pm

  Mary Nolan Cox

  It takes a lot more than liberal leanings to offend me, so don't even worry about it. Are you done with your dissertation? Should I call you Dr. Ann? I would, because you are that awesome. Love ya!
• 

  9:20pm

  Wilde Annimal

  It will be a year yet. I know 10 years and only a couple of degrees seems useless. I'm writing a biography, and I want my committee and my mom to read it. Impossible. Anyway, I have about 20 friends and they were only people who wouldn't hate me for the "F" word--- even elderly friends in NY. I use it a lot, because I know it makes them chuckle at a Mormon girl using it. Please, just block my posts. I have such a potty mouth. I'm so sorry! You are lovely as always!
• 

  9:33pm

  Mary Nolan Cox

  I work in the OR, where language is routinely of the potty variety. So I'm not offended, damn it! Things got a little ugly last November, but I don't let little things bother me. :0)
• 

  9:37pm

  Wilde Annimal

  Oh, love. How are you healing from November?
• 

  9:44pm

  Mary Nolan Cox

  Just from the election. People got really fired up and mean to each other. I seriously hate election season. But that's how it goes, right? Life goes on. How are you?
• 

  12:15am

  Wilde Annimal

  I don't like either party...do some work people! I was worried it was personal. Anyway block me I like that word too much! I'm fine. Working on myself. Aways working on myself!
• 

  1:29am

  Mary Nolan Cox

  You and me both. I can't affiliate either way...I'm pretty sure everybody in Washington is corrupt. So I just try to ignore it. I have enough to worry about! Are you back in Logan?

And that's where it ended.  She never replied, but she and Aaron had moved back to Logan from Ithaca, NY.  I kept meaning to find her and go to lunch; I never dreamed I wouldn't have the chance.

Aaron, Ann & Amanda (another LHS '97 friend) in New York

Even though I don't know her very well, I am very much saddened by her passing.  I went through all of my old pictures, convinced I had one of both of us.  If I did, I can't find it.  I had a few random snapshots of her from our last days at Logan High, but nothing extraordinary.  They certainly didn't capture her light like these pictures do.

Ann was one of those people whom you can never forget.  Even though we hadn't seen each other in years, I still considered her a dear friend.  She was smart, beautiful, uncommonly kind, radiant, and good.  I truly adored her, and I feel so privileged to have known her in this life.

For those of you who are reading my blog, I just want to tell you I love you while I have the chance.  I know that spirits continue to exist after they have departed their mortal bodies, and I know I will see Ann again.  But while we are here in this precious, fleeting world, please know how grateful I am for you.  Even if I haven't seen you for a while, you are cherished.  You are held deep in my heart, and I will love you forever.

Ann, ma chère, thank you for sharing your light with me.  Thank you for making this world a better place.  Thank you for your friendship--you are one of the loveliest people I have ever known.  Until we meet again, darling.