Oops, I Did It Again

I fell again today. At work. What the heck?! I am a serious liability! This time I was working with Dr. Fryer, and we were almost finished with some nasty facial fractures. For some reason, we were in tight quarters, with not a lot of space between us and the anesthesiologist and the walls. Dr. Fryer had asked me to get some sponges to start cleaning up the patient's face, but he was between me and the back table (where I keep all the sterile supplies). He was wearing a headlight, which is connected to a portable light source by a fiber-optic cord. The cord was about two feet off the ground, and I decided to try to go over the cord, but my foot must have caught it. I fell forward (again) onto my knees, and hit the wall, taking a set of instruments down with me. I jammed my thumb and mashed my glasses into the wall too. Yeah, I'm pretty gifted and talented that way. I was mostly able to get my glasses un-bent, but they might be done for. I do need to get new ones, so hopefully this will be the impetus to do so. It snowed today. I'm looking forward to the holidays, and I enjoy snow in moderation . . . not so much when I have to drive in it and scrape my car when I come out of work.

Turn And Face The Strange Ch-Ch-Changes

I have been spending too much time with the Picnik. It's so fun to see what you can come up with. The left one is totally unretouched. The second one is my 'vampire' pic (yes, it is possible to be more pale than I actually am!). The third is the zombie version, and the last is me as a witch. I upgraded to the Picnik Premium to be able to do these. Totally worth it. Happy Halloween, everyone!

October

I have been meaning to write a new post for some time. I have not felt very well this week, so work and appointments have taken all my energy. Here's a little slideshow of last week's super-fun Halloween party for the little ones. I think this will become another family tradition. We have never been big on Halloween, but now that we have kiddos old enough to enjoy it, I have a feeling we'll be doing more. We took Benji to Wheeler Farm in his little pumpkin costume for a few minutes. He's so stinkin' cute. Here's one of me and the boy. I had to swing him around to get him to smile, so my hair's a bit wonky. As far as appointments go, I have finally been released from WorkMed. I went to see Dr. Cole, an ENT/Plastic surgeon. I have worked with him a couple of times, and the WorkMed people made the appointment for me, so I was okay with that. He is seriously OLD SCHOOL. He wore a suit and tie, with a jacket. He wanted to look up into my nose, so he got out his glass head-lamp (which broke accidentally). Oh well. I like him. He told me what the deal was, and gave me the options. I have quite a deviated nasal septum, which contributes to the snoring and stuffiness, and doesn't help the hay-fever. He told me that there is no magic pill/spray/cure, so I could a) have surgery to straighten it out and clear out the nasal passages, or b) live with it. I think I'll have the surgery, especially if it will mean that I can avoid the cpap thing. Now we just have to see if IHC Risk Management will pay for it, and if I can get the time off work. Even if they don't, I think I'll go through with it. Yes, I asked about some cosmetic reshaping, and he said it wasn't advisable to do it at the same time, because I will have to keep some splints and packing in my nose for a week afterward, which greatly increases the chance of infection. *sigh* I will survive, even with a bulbous nose. Benji had another appointment with Dr. Hoffman, the pediatric ophthalmologist, who said he was fine. We'll just watch his wandering eye. Thankfully, Allen took him so I could sleep and not infect the hundreds of kids in their waiting room. I also got my permanent crown put in. It looks very nice--all porcelain and very white. It's really sensitive right now, though. Let's hope that goes away! So that's what's going on chez moi. Have a Happy October!

Crash Course In Brain Surgery

Tonight was slow enough that I was able to scrub in on a craniotomy. It was very interesting, and a little disturbing. I won't go into detail, but it's a very sad case, and the patient may never recover completely. It's one of those situations where you do everything you can for the patient (at an enormous cost), when it's actually for the family. But how do you decide where to draw the line? Who gets the healthcare? When do you start rationing? Who should decide what insurance should pay for? It's a mess, and I certainly don't have the answer. All I know is that if the government is going to be paying for our healthcare, they are going to want to control it. They will want access to all of our medical records and payment histories and health histories, and eventually they will want to decide who gets what . . . how much doctors get paid, how much insurance companies get paid, what procedures they should and shouldn't cover, etc. I don't know. What do you think? Another thing that has made me think is what has come of this: Sorry if some of you are shocked at this picture. I love it. I think she's beautiful, and I'm a little peeved that this gorgeous, healthy woman is considered "plus size." It's frustrating to me that, because she isn't emaciated, Lizzi has become a sensation. I love that she's getting attention, but should it be this big of a deal? Are people really that shocked to see a normal-sized woman in a magazine? Some of the smartest people I know had quite a discussion about it on facebook. It's another thing that has definitely made me think, and consider how I feel about my body. I have saved a .pdf this fairly lengthy discussion, so if you'd like to read it, let me know and I'll send you a copy. Thanks, Eric.

What's Going On

I visited with Brad (my social worker/counselor) today, and I realized that I have made some progress since I started meeting with him. I was in a really bad place mentally and emotionally, and I really am much better now. No, my life isn't perfect, and I don't think I will ever be completely satisfied with everything in my life. But I'm learning (slowly) that I'm okay to be where I am. My job isn't perfect, my family isn't perfect, my home is definitely not perfect. Oh well. I'm doing my best, and I can't do any more than that. One thing that has really helped me has been this book: It's called "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz. This is a good synopsis of what it says: I'm not saying that this book has changed my life, but it definitely has given me something to think about. I'm a pretty fast reader, and this short book (only 138 pages) has taken me more than two months to read. I'm still not done, either. It's also one of very few books I have paid full-price for at Barnes & Noble. I usually choose my books from what's available at the DI or on the community bookshelf at work. I recommend it, but you should only read it if you want to do some serious introspection. It's not an 'escape' book or a lovely story. Even so, READ IT. You won't regret it.

Things Can Only Get Better

Well, my bruises have mostly healed. My nose and my knee are still a little sore, but not too bad. I had a CT of my head done last week, and I have a deviated septum. The doctor thinks that I had it before, so it shouldn't be a big deal. Even so, I am having more difficulty breathing out of my right nostril than my left, and it wasn't like that before I bit it. I'm going to make an appointment with an ENT; I'll probably go with Dr. Child, the one who helped with the transsphenoidal part of my Mom's brain surgery, or Dr. Hunter, the one who took out Sarah's tubes. I'd just like to know who's going to pay for it . . . me or IHC. I think Intermountain should, but it depends on what the WorkMed doctor recommends. Either way, I really want to have a rhinoplasty at the same time. I don't think about my nose very often, but when I really look at it or see it in pictures, I really dislike it. I don't want anything drastic (no Michael Jackson-esque results); just so that it's not so bulbous. We'll see. General Conference was very nice . . . at least what little I heard of it. We did pretty well through the Saturday morning session, but as for the rest--I didn't get much out of it. :o( Like Allen said, "That's why they have it on the internet and in the Ensign and why the replay it on KBYU." True enough. I'm at work again today; it's not too bad at the moment, but I'm tired. I think we are all getting sick. Allen has been coughing and Benji has been waking up crying in the middle of the night. He woke up this morning about 5:30 a.m. (he usually wakes up between 8-9). I let him cry for a few minutes to see if he would go back to sleep, but he didn't. So I gave him some ibuprofen and held him for a little while. He would squirm and cry if I didn't sing to him, so I sang for probably 15 minutes (until the drugs kicked in). And after that, he was up. He slid off my lap and started walking around, ready for the day. I wasn't quite as ready, so I popped in a DVD for him and I crashed out on the couch. He's so funny. I wish I knew what was wrong with him; nothing seems to be abnormal, so I think he (a) must be going through another growth spurt, (b) has headaches or (c) bad dreams or something. Poor little man. I hope he gets over it soon!