Counting Up The Years

I was feeling seriously old today. I found out that one of the nurses I work with is 24. Another nurse I thought was older is just 25. One of our anesthesiologists was asking an orderly how old he was in the early 1990's--assuming he was in the 5th grade or something like that (I was in the 5th grade in '89-'90). The orderly said, "No, I was younger than that. I was born in 1988." Good grief! I'm going to be 30 in January, and I have never really felt this old before! It's a little disturbing. One of the core techs said he'll be 26 in January, and he actually told me, "30 is not that old." Yeah, thanks. Okay, I'm watching Conan O'Brien, and he and Hugh Jackman are having a push-up contest. It's pretty funny. Conan is slowing down, so I'd say Hugh is winning. Hugh Jackman is a beautiful man. For a while, I thought he and Clive Owen were the same person. They don't even really look alike, but they are both pretty darn hot. Yum. Apparently Robert Pattinson is the new hunk-of-the-moment because of Twilight. I have heard it's not that great, but it does stay pretty true to the book. I still want to see it, even if he is much cuter as Cedric Diggory. Some of the pictures didn't show up on my last post. The "Blog This" feature of Picasa 3 isn't very reliable. Here's hoping it works this time! Babies! Babies! Babies!

 

5-dollar foot-long

 

I love this picture. Benji is giggling, and Lily is looking up to her hero, Ella. So cute!

 

Happy almost-Thanksgiving, everyone!

Is This The Real Life

I didn't get to spend much time with the family over the weekend, but we did have some time to get a few pictures! It was baby-palooza for a little while! Beck brought the girls to SLC to get pictures taken. I came along to help; I didn't do much, but Ella and Mia looked so cute they didn't need much assistance. I'm excited to see them! Benji will get some new pictures in a couple of weeks. Yay! Here's the group (minus Noah).

 

5-dollar footlong

 

Fun times with Ella and Lily

 

My little man looking cute . . . as usual!

 

Fun shopping with Mama!

 

Isn't it crazy how much he is changing? I just love this boy!

 

I had to work today. It wasn't too bad; Captain Chaos was in a pretty good mood and kept his surgery under control (and under two hours! That's something!). Then I got to do a gamma nail with a cool orthopedic surgeon--it went well, especially since the Stryker rep was there. It's so helpful to have someone telling you what you need and in what order! I'm not really looking forward to working tomorrow, but at least I get to sleep in. Here's hoping Benji does too!

I Don't Want To Wait

I wanted to post these pictures on my last entry, but I conveniently left my camera at my sister Rachael's house. So here are some fun baby pics from this month.

 

I like the splash on this one. Yes, he is still getting bathed in the sink. It's my favorite thing.

 

He actually looks like a Nolan here!

 

He looks so concerned!

 

I really like the way this picture turned out. It shows his happy personality! Here are some pictures of my crochet-fest. This is me wearing the scarf. It's a little bulky, but it turned out pretty nice for a one-nighter! And here are some close-ups of the scarf. I like the way the pattern casts shadows. P.S. I took Benji to the pediatrician for his 9-month check-up today. He weighs almost 24 lbs, he's 29" tall, and he's in the 95th percentile for weight and head circumference, and in about the 75th for height. Sounds about right, eh? He was fine until I laid him down on the table to undress him. When he looked at the ceiling, he started crying. He knew what was coming, and the last time he was there was 3 months ago! He's so smart!

I Won't Hesitate No More

Yes, I realize that is very poor grammar, but it's from one of my current favorite songs: "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz. It's fun. Anyway, I have been hesitating with posting anything new for a while, because I was so busy last week. Here's the scoop. As some of you may know, I visit teach a lady in my ward (I'll call her Sister Y) who has Asperger's Syndrome (a type of autism: read more about it here). She is very intelligent, but has some social issues. WebMD says this about Autism: "The word “autism,” which has been in use for about 100 years, comes from the Greek word “autos,” meaning “self.” The term describes conditions in which a person is removed from social interaction -- hence, an isolated self." People with autism, even those who are high-functioning like Sister Y, have difficulties with empathy. She can't really see any point of view but her own. Sister Y is extremely sensitive--to noise, light, distractions, etc. Sundays are very difficult for her because she wants to be fed spiritually, but with screaming babies and people around her talking . . . I can't imagine not being able to tune all of that out. She can't. She knows she's different, and because of that, she feels rejected. It's not that people tell her outright that she doesn't belong; it's how she interprets things. When people don't say hello or thank you or things like that, she feels rejected. She craves attention and positive reinforcement, but she's so socially isolated that she doesn't get much. That's where we come in. Last Sunday was her birthday. My partner and I are both in the Primary, so if we don't see her in Sacrament Meeting on Sundays, we generally don't see her at all. We visited her the week before (our visits generally last about 2 hours), and she told us it was her birthday. I don't know what she was expecting, but she wanted it to be special. That was when the idea of crocheting a blanket for her came to me. So last week I crocheted my brains out--I don't think I went to bed before 2 a.m. any day that whole week! I pulled out some old yarn and started going. It was coming along pretty well, until I realized my last skein of yarn was falling apart and wouldn't be enough to finish it. So we tried to hunt for more yarn of the same color . . . yeah right. If Red Heart even makes it anymore, I wasn't going to find any on Saturday night. So I got some multi-colored yarn and decided to make a scarf. I started it about 9pm on Saturday night, and I just needed to finish it. I did . . . at about 6 a.m. on Sunday morning. Not very smart, I know. Anyway, I slept through Sacrament meeting. Benji was not feeling well, so Allen stayed home with him and I went to Primary. My partner gave me a book to give to Sister Y (she was sick that day, too). I took it home and wrapped it all and made her a little cake and took it over to her. I had called a few people the day before to ask them to wish her a happy birthday in case we didn't see her (which neither of us did). When I brought her gifts over, she was so happy! She said that several people came up to her that day, and she was very grateful for her gifts. I'm glad I could do something nice for her. Sunday was pretty rough, considering I was running on 2 hours of sleep. We went to Rachael's house to make pizza, then we went to hear Dave play prelude for a Jon Schmidt fireside. Dave was great, and the fireside was good, but I was just trashed. We all went to bed early. Monday, Allen left for work as usual at 4 a.m. I had to be to work at 11. I didn't feel good that morning, and I debated on calling in sick. I took some tylenol allergy sinus to see if it would help. It didn't. Work was okay; I put my name on the out-early list, hoping to get out sooner than later. I got a text from Lexy saying that Benji had puked all over the place for her. Bow-wow! Thankfully, I did get to leave around 6 p.m. I felt sick the whole way home--I thought I might have to pull over and throw up. I made it home, and when I came in, Benji was crying. Allen said the baby had just puked and he was still traumatized from the shower. Just then, I ran to the bathroom and barfed in the sink. Everything I had eaten in the last 24 hours came up--serious spewage. I could see it coming out of my mouth like in a cartoon. I didn't even have time to hold my hair back, so it got in my hair and all over the sink. I took a shower while Allen took the plunger to the sink. He said he had to dump some Pine-Sol in it so he didn't follow suit! When I got out, I put Benji to bed and went to brush my teeth. Then, I heard a weird gurgling from the toilet. I called Allen in to check it out, and we saw bubbles starting to fill up the bowl. They kept coming up and started overflowing. Bubbles. Allen ran upstairs and knocked on the door; Mr. X was giving their kid a bath, and apparently she had dumped a whole bottle of shampoo down the drain. Bubbles. I guess it could have been worse. So that's what has happened in my world in the past few days. Lots of crocheting, lots of puke. I hope you had a better weekend than me!

When I Ruled The World

Today was actually a good day! Benji woke up around 6, but I gave him a bottle and he went back to sleep. We both slept in until about 8:30 a.m. So nice! He was very cute this morning, too. I hope he was good for Lexy . . . I don't know how that went. Anyway, I was a little worried about my lunch assignments. When I start work at 11 a.m., the charge nurse usually gives me three different assignments, so I get to scrub three different rooms. It definitely keeps me on my toes. Today I had an Endo AAA, a laparoscopic kidney donor, and I thought I'd have to do a Perc. Neph. I'm not particularly comfortable doing any of those, but it turned out well. The AAA took so long to get going that all I had to do was turn over the room and set up the back table. In the kidney room, I just helped finish the surgery, and luckily the perc. neph. was done when I got there, so I did a cysto stent removal. Easy enough. (I know this means nothing to many of you who read this, but this is my life! Sorry!). Lunch in the cafeteria was disappointing, but I have had worse. At 3 p.m., I did an abdominal hysterectomy (where we took out a dermoid cyst the size of a large grapefruit), then I got to eat dinner and crochet for a bit. I got to send Marvin home a bit early as I finished the second AAA (happy Veteran's day, Marvin! You rock!), then I finished a free-flap with Chen, did a lap hernia repair, and I finished up with a diagnostic lap with Burgett. All of the surgeons I worked with were friendly, I was pleasantly busy most of the day, and I got to suture. I'm grateful for these nice days. I'd much rather be busy than sitting around all day or stuck in a crazy, bloody case. Good times. I really need to clean house tomorrow. Apparently I'm babysitting for Mrs. X in the morning--at least she slipped a note under the door to ask! I haven't watched Becca in about a month, and it hasn't broken my heart. We have kind-of been avoiding each other; I think we're all just biding our time. Of course, they want us to stay until they sell the house (which will probably be a while in this market!), but I really hate living in limbo like this. How long will we be staying? Where will we move to? My apartment hunting is half-hearted, but I'm still doing it. Oh well. We'll figure it out eventually, I guess.

Someday When Times [Aren't] So Tight

I worked an extra shift tonight, since I'll be able to get some overtime for it. I'm just so exhausted . . . I was almost ready to quit tonight. It's not that I was verbally abused or anything (I have definitely had worse); it was just an ugly case. I'm tired of scrubbing for liver transplants! I have done one every week in the past month, and although I was only in this one for 2 1/2 hours, it was bad. One of our surgeons just seems to leave chaos in his wake. Things are under control when there is another surgeon working with him, but once they leave, things fall apart. He is being forced to retire at the end of this year. He is a gifted surgeon and he really cares about his patients, but working with him is an incredible stress on everyone. It's nights like these that make me wonder what I'm doing with my life. With Benji so close to crawling and with me working all the time and being so exhausted when I am home, I am frightened I am going to miss it. It makes me sad; I'm doing this for him, so that we can get out of debt faster and have a more secure financial future as a family. The whole situation is just hard. I hope you friends who are able to stay home with your babies realize how lucky you are!

I Dare You To Move

Benji is so close to crawling. He'll get on his hands and knees and rock. Sometimes he'll get in push-up position with his little bum in the air. He's so stinking cute! As it is, he'll roll everywhere and I'm starting to panic about child-proofing. I don't trust him anywhere he's not strapped in! I took Benji to see Dr. Evans (my orthopod) today. That office is terrible. One of the last times I went, I stood at the front desk for 5 minutes before someone helped me. I had to ask them! Sooooo not cool. We waited for an hour and a half before we were called back. The doctor spent about 3 minutes with me, and we were done. My shoulder seems to be getting better with physical therapy, so Dr. Evans said to come back in three months. Yeah, I don't think that's going to happen. I only went to him because he happened to be on call at St. Mark's that night. I have pretty good range of motion and the pain really isn't that bad. So I'll live with it. Whatever. The protests over Proposition 8 in California . . . why can't people accept the will of the public? Honestly, I had a problem with the LDS Church's involvement in the campaign. The following is taken from the Church's official website: "Allegations of bigotry or persecution made against the Church were and are simply wrong. The Church’s opposition to same-sex marriage neither constitutes nor condones any kind of hostility toward gays and lesbians. Even more, the Church does not object to rights for same-sex couples regarding hospitalization and medical care, fair housing and employment rights, or probate rights, so long as these do not infringe on the integrity of the traditional family or the constitutional rights of churches. "Some, however, have mistakenly asserted that churches should not ever be involved in politics when moral issues are involved. In fact, churches and religious organizations are well within their constitutional rights to speak out and be engaged in the many moral and ethical problems facing society. While the Church does not endorse candidates or platforms, it does reserve the right to speak out on important issues. "Before it accepted the invitation to join broad-based coalitions for the amendments, the Church knew that some of its members would choose not to support its position. Voting choices by Latter-day Saints, like all other people, are influenced by their own unique experiences and circumstances. As we move forward from the election, Church members need to be understanding and accepting of each other and work together for a better society. "Even though the democratic process can be demanding and difficult, Latter-day Saints are profoundly grateful for and respect the ideals of a true democracy." I can agree with that. I'm glad my church leaders can understand that we have different opinions.

You Know She's A Little Bit Dangerous

I am a bit dangerous right now; I'm running on about three hours of sleep. I worked for 12 hours yesterday and today, and in the 12 intervening hours, I stayed up too late reading ("The Poisonwood Bible" by Barbara Kingsolver), took a shower, slept, got ready (I even put on makeup!), went to physical therapy, voted, drove back home, drove Benji to Lexy's house (in the snow) and got to work on-time. I have been busy! Work today wasn't too bad, although I was struggling to keep up on the kidney transplant; I was pretty out of it. Luckily I was 'back-up' for a recent surg. tech graduate who really didn't need any help--just a runner. So I was able to read quite a bit; I'm sure I was a little obnoxious when we were trying to get the thrombectomy going, but I was at such a good part of the book! I had a very difficult time putting it down! I have issues, I know. After my 20-hour shift last week (a regularly scheduled 12-hour shift, followed by an 8-hour call shift), 12 hours doesn't seem so bad. That was last Thursday (11am to 7am on Halloween day), and it was ugly. I was scheduled to work another 12 hours on Friday, but I just couldn't do it. So I actually got to spend some time with the fam on Halloween! I didn't put much effort into dressing up Benji, since I wasn't planning on doing anything for it. But here's a picture of his cute little jacket with bear ears. That's about the extent of my efforts. Pretty pathetic, isn't it? Good thing he's so cute!

 

This isn't a very good picture of Lily's flower costume. Mach said it was held together with safety pins and a prayer, but it was cute!

 

Noah was adorable in his little Lion costume. He should be a be a baby model!

 

And here's Auntie Sarah with Tessa, who was a bumble bee, and then a kitty. She has changed so much already!

 

Anyway, Benji was such a little trouper when I pulled him out of bed at 6:15am to go to PT. He really is a good boy, and those cheeks are just so kissable! Here are some recent pictures of him. Doesn't he have the most beautiful eyes? I love the concerned look on his face! I love this smile! Can you see his two little teeth? As far as the election . . . I'm glad It's over. It will take me a while to wrap my head around the whole "President Obama" thing. I honestly think he is the better man for the job--he's younger, smarter, more dynamic, etc., etc. I seriously considered voting for him. In the end, I voted for McCain because I believed I would have more freedom with him as President. I think Obama's version of U.S. government is too over-reaching. I don't want to entrust so much of my future to Washington, to people who think they know what is better for me than I do. Part of me wants to pack up my little family, buy a small piece of land in France for a farm and une petite maison, and live out the rest of our lives where no one tells us what to do. Yes, yes, I know France has some of the highest tax rates in the world, and it's not exactly a democracy, but I can dream, can't I?