Hello, friends. It has been a while, because I have been SO BUSY. Christmas was an absolute whirlwind, and I can't believe this year is almost over. I'll try to post some pictures of the events, but just so you know--it may not happen. Life is flying by, with hardly a chance to breathe, let alone write anything meaningful about what is happening.
Some of you may be wondering why I changed my blog address. Well, I have been considering it for some time. I kind-of like the anonymity of a random street name, versus "Mary's Magical Mellifluous Musings" (plus, it's easier to remember). Several months ago, I even found a Lincoln Avenue (in Ogden) and took a picture of it to become my blog header, but I don't know where it is now. You'll see it eventually. Currently, my blog is public, and I'm not entirely comfortable with that. I'll let you know if I decide to make it private again, in which case my two readers will receive an invitation. Until then, enjoy reading about my making a fool out of myself in front of the entire world.
Another reason for the name change: since most of my blog references music in some way (all of my blog entries and subtitles are lines from songs, etc.), I thought the blog name should reflect that as well. Lincoln Avenue is one of my favorite songs from Train, from the "My Private Nation" (one of my all-time favorite albums). So much of the song just fits me, my work (how many songs have the word "operations" in them?), how I feel about certain people, and where my life is right now. Okay, not just right now, but for several years, actually. This does feel like the place between being ready and being in the way.
Here's a random YouTube video with the song and mostly correct lyrics. Enjoy.
Lyrics | TRAIN - LINCOLN AVENUE LYRICS
Well I guess this is where I left my life
And all its operations
And I know that I will never get this twice
With all negotiations
This feels like the place between what is and might have been
So I guess this is where we both find out
If this was meant to be
And I'll tell myself, I don't need you
I'll tell myself enough to get me through
But I'll finally show you how I should have been being with you every day
If you can take a little more
Now it takes me back to times on Lincoln Avenue
When you said you'd never get tired of the boy
That seemed to be so far from growing up
But we were different then
This feels like the place between being ready and being in the way
And I'll tell myself, I don't need you
I'll tell myself enough to get me through
But I'll finally show you how I should have been being with you every day
If you can wait a little more
This feels like the time that I'm ready for you
Are you ready for me
'Cause I'll tell myself I'll make it through
I'll tell myself anything to get over you
And I won't blame you but I'm finally ready to show you
That I'm ready to show you, I'm ready to show you, yeah
I'll tell myself that I never needed anybody anyway, but anyway
I need you
I need you now
I need you now
I'm ready now
So that's it. Now you have another piece to the puzzle. More to come, mes amis.
28 December 2011
13 November 2011
Sometimes It's Easy To Be Myself
I have had a jumble of emotions lately, for a lot of reasons. I'm really sad about leaving Riverton, but I am ready to start back at IMC. I floated there on Thursday, and most people I talked to were excited that I'm coming back. It's nice to feel wanted, even if it's not necessarily what you want. They actually wanted me to come back on Friday, but it was my last day at Riverton, so I said no. Friday was nice; I got to work with Dr. Larson, whom I love--he's seriously one of my favorite surgeons ever. I look unbelievably bad in this picture, but that shows you how much I adore him.
He's actually moving to Iowa next year, to head up their pediatric ophthalmology program at the University of Iowa. His leaving (and Allison's, too) were factors that made it okay for me to leave too. It's sad, but true. Plus, he served his mission in Paris, so I franglais with him quite often. One time, we were doing a cataract surgery, and randomly he looked up at me and said, "They think I do not know a buttload of crap about the Gospel, but I do!" (A quote from Nacho Libre.) We would quote a lot of movies during surgery, and on Friday he said I could sing as much as I wanted (and we'd dedicate it to Chad Wallis). Plus, he's so nice--very patient and easy-going. I'll miss him a lot.
This is a much better picture of me and my girls. Not all of them, since Sara, Brittany and Bethany (a.k.a. "Breathany") weren't there, but I love these ladies. I'll miss them, too. They are really good friends, and it has been a privilege to work with them.
So anyway, I am okay. I know I struggle (a lot). I stay up too late and I focus on myself and what's wrong. I have a lot of things I need to change. The list keeps getting longer, and it only adds to the depression, so when I start writing about it, it brings it all to the forefront. I don't need to air all my dirty laundry here, and I'm pretty sure that the two people who do peruse my blog would rather read the happy stuff. I'll try to spend more time on that; it's what I'd rather remember, anyway.
Speaking of, here are some pictures from NFHP 2011 (Nolan Family Halloween Party). It was a good time.
He's actually moving to Iowa next year, to head up their pediatric ophthalmology program at the University of Iowa. His leaving (and Allison's, too) were factors that made it okay for me to leave too. It's sad, but true. Plus, he served his mission in Paris, so I franglais with him quite often. One time, we were doing a cataract surgery, and randomly he looked up at me and said, "They think I do not know a buttload of crap about the Gospel, but I do!" (A quote from Nacho Libre.) We would quote a lot of movies during surgery, and on Friday he said I could sing as much as I wanted (and we'd dedicate it to Chad Wallis). Plus, he's so nice--very patient and easy-going. I'll miss him a lot.
This is a much better picture of me and my girls. Not all of them, since Sara, Brittany and Bethany (a.k.a. "Breathany") weren't there, but I love these ladies. I'll miss them, too. They are really good friends, and it has been a privilege to work with them.
 |
| Melanie, Me, Marisa (and Savanna), Shelly and Kristine. |
Speaking of, here are some pictures from NFHP 2011 (Nolan Family Halloween Party). It was a good time.
09 November 2011
Somehow I'm Neither Here Nor There
Anyone who knows me knows that I have a lot of random things in my brain; especially song lyrics. For some strange reason, I can remember the lyrics of hundreds (if not thousands) of songs, yet I can be six steps away from my car and not remember if I locked it or not. Yeah. So anyway, I have known this song, "Runaway Train" by Soul Asylum, for well over 15 years. It was released in 1993, and won a Grammy for Best Rock Song in 1994.
So this is a song about missing children, right? Yes and no. Today this song came on the radio while I was driving home from a doctor's appointment and I actually listened to the lyrics I have been singing for so many years. Here are some thoughts on what I heard.
Call you up in the middle of the night
Like a firefly without a light
You were there like a blowtorch burning
I was a key that could use a little turning
So tired that I couldn't even sleep
So many secrets I couldn't keep
Promised myself I wouldn't weep
One more promise I couldn't keep
I promise myself (and others) a lot of things that just don't happen. I can't blame anyone else for it, either. It's what I have done with my life.
It seems no one can help me now
I'm in too deep there's no way out
This time I have really led myself astray
I have led myself astray. I know the path I should be taking, and yet I wander. Willingly.
Runaway train, never going back
Wrong way on a one-way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there
I work hard; I should be getting somewhere. But I'm wandering, and I'm stuck all at the same time. I go to church, I try to be a good person, but I'm neither here nor there.
Can you help me remember how to smile?
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded?
Life's mystery seems so faded
To quote from another song: "I knew much more then than I do now." Ten years ago, I certainly didn't see my life going where it has. I didn't want to be jaded or bitter. I wanted to have a meaningful, spiritual life. That was the ticket.
I can go where no one else can go
I know what no one else knows
Here I am just a-drownin' in the rain
With a ticket for a runaway train
And everything seems cut and dried
Day and night, earth and sky
Somehow I just don't believe it
Is everything black and white? I seem to be spending a lot of time in a grey area known as "justification."
Runaway train, never going back
Wrong way on a one-way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there
Bought a ticket for a runaway train
Like a madman laughing at the rain
A little out of touch, a little insane
It's just easier than dealing with the pain
It is easier to be crazy than to face the pain of what you have lost, of what you have given up. Sometimes I'd like to be really crazy, then I could justify taking that train and running away from my problems. Unfortunately (?), I am quite logical and not very brave.
Runaway train, never going back
Wrong way on a one-way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there
Runaway train, never coming back
Runaway train, tearing up the track
Runaway train, burning in my veins
I run away but it always seems the same
I do run away from some things. I admit it. I'm afraid to open my heart, because the hurt is real, and sometimes it's the only thing I can truly call my own. I have to be so many things: mother, wife, housekeeper, cook, employee, sister, teacher, student, consumer, provider, leader, follower, etc. I get lost in all I have to do. Sometimes I feel like I'm drowning in the rain, and no one will even notice if I disappear. What's the point in trying if what I do doesn't matter?
Seems like I should be getting somewhere.
07 November 2011
Everybody's Changing
I have worked for Intermountain Healthcare (commonly referred to as IHC) for nearly 10 years. It is a good, stable, non-profit company. There are things I like, and things I don't like about it, but overall, they have been pretty good to me.
Every Autumn, the muckity-mucks send out a Gallup survey, to see how "engaged" their employees are. I think it's out of a scale of 1-5, with 5 being the 'super-excited, I LOVE my job and can't wait to go to work' end of the spectrum. I think we consistently meet around 4--pretty good. At Primary Children's Riverton (where I work), our score is closer to 4.5. Everyone who works there loves it; me included. This is definitely the best job I have ever had.
Unfortunately, real life comes in to bite you on the you-know-what, and when opportunities present themselves, you need to take them. Ever since I transferred to Primary Childrens from Intermountain Medical Center (both within the IHC system), I have been 'floating,' i.e., working at places other than my home facility. This has been to keep my hours. At PC-Riv, we don't have enough cases to consistently allow every one to get their full allotment of hours (40/week in my case). Some days are busy, with surgeries going past 4pm. Many days are pitiful, with only one or two cases total, finished by 10am. Most days have a few cases, and it is rare that we work past 1pm. If you aren't concerned about your PTO balance, or if you can take that time unpaid, it's perfect. Most of us aren't in that situation, so we are scrambling to find work.
About a month ago, I found out that my friend (and fellow scrub tech at IMC) Shaunette was moving to Texas. That would mean that there would be a vacancy, and the thought just kept nagging me. I routinely float to IMC 3-4 times per month; I also go to the 'big house' (the main OR at Primary Children's) at least once per week, and occasionally to Riverton Hospital (the adult side; I work in the outpatient pediatric side). There are a lot of reasons why going back to IMC would be a good thing. I feel like I should write them down, so you can see my reasoning.
1) Money. At PC-Riv, I am not guaranteed a full paycheck, and the only times I get my full hours is when I float. The likelihood of being called off at IMC is much lower. The possibility is still there, but if you want to work, you usually can.
2) Position. I had my annual review last month, and while everything was fine, I was going to lose my OR Tech II status. At PC-Riv, there just isn't enough variety of cases for me to keep my skills up. I love the small, easy cases we do on healthy kids, but the only times I get to do cool surgeries is when I float to IMC. Even when I float uptown (PCMC), they put me in the easiest rooms, because they don't know what I can do. That is partially my fault, because I went to PC-Riverton full-time as soon as I was done orienting. I did get to do a mandibular distraction last week, which was really interesting, but the only reason I got to do that was because they assigned it to my friend Bethany (a co-worker at PC-Riv), before the assignments were changed. When we figured out the mix-up, they were worried about me being able to do it. Yeah, I struggled a little, but it turned out fine. To make a long story short, if I'm going to work at Primary Children's, I want to work at PC-Riverton. And as long as I'm at PC-Riv, I won't be scrubbing the level of cases I need to be at a Tech II level. During my review, it was decided that I would go back to a Tech I level and they would freeze my pay, i.e., I won't get a raise until the Tech I wage reaches what I make. And that could be several years. At IMC, I could easily keep my Tech II status.
3) Location. I don't love our apartment, but we live less than two miles away from IMC. Actually, I drive past it every day, on my way to Riverton. With gas prices being so high, and spending so much money just to fill up the tank every week, it has really been burdensome.
So, with all that in mind, I put in my application. I e-mailed my boss that day and explained all of the above, stating that my main reason for doing it was money; I don't feel like I have anything to hide, so I wanted full-disclosure. I ended up having my interview at IMC on a day when I was floating there: essentially, I was working at the job I was applying for. The interview went pretty well, and I told them all of the same things. I may have emphasized the 'opportunities for growth' more than the money factor, but both are absolutely true. I even told them that I would have been happy not getting the job, because that would mean I would stay at PC-Riv, but I felt like it was time to move on.
Well, later that week I was floating to PCMC (do you get the picture? It seems like I hardly ever work at my home base, anyway), and I was in an ENT room with Dr. Grimmer. I work with him all the time at PC-Riv, but he does his more complicated cases uptown. The day was fine, until we had to do a laryngoscopy with laser for venous malformations on a young girl. I just don't do those often enough to be comfortable with them, so I struggled. I had Sue, the ENT team leader in the room with me, and even she set it up wrong. I did my best, and Dr. Grimmer was pretty calm about it in actuality, but he was frustrated that nobody seemed to know what they were doing. I was really stressed, because of how delicate the situation was. Luckily, everything went well, and my lunch relief came right as we were finishing. So I went into the bathroom and cried. That's one BIG reason why I went to Riverton--it's a lot more fun to work with healthy kids. Working with the sicker ones is much more difficult than I thought it would be. Anyway, while I was on my lunch break, Human Resources called to offer me the job at IMC. I said yes. He told me that they would transfer me over as an OR Tech II (so I'll probably get a raise next year!), and we decided on a start date of November 13.
I hadn't told many people about it, because it's so hard to leave a place you love. I had been talking about it with my friend Allison, one of my favorite nurses I have ever worked with. (FYI, on the aforementioned Gallup survey, when they asked if I had a best friend at work, I immediately thought of her.) She went through something similar, where the people uptown were pressuring her to apply for the ENT Team Leader position, since Sue was stepping down. Taking it would mean that she couldn't go to PC-Riv anymore, and it was a really hard decision for her; I knew she felt the same way I did. Unfortunately, it all boils down to the same old thing: money. They made her an offer she couldn't refuse, so she ended up taking that position. Admittedly, her taking it was a kind of license for me to move on as well. I feel calm about it. It's the right thing to do, even if it hurts.
I was trying to keep it quiet, since I didn't want my leaving to be a big deal. Word got out last week, though, so pretty much everybody knows what's happening. It really is depressing, but I have to make the most of the time I am away from Ben.
Like Allison said, we are growing up. We have to make the hard decisions and do what is best for our families. She and I have very similar music tastes (and she loves U2 almost as much as I do!), and one day while we were cleaning our OR at the end of the day, "Everybody's Changing" by Keane came on the Pandora. We both said, "I love this song!" So it kind-of became our song.
So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same.
There seems to be lots of reasons to cry these days. Sometimes I wish I weren't such a logical person.
22 October 2011
And It Makes Me Cry
No, I haven't given up on my blog. I need an outlet for my writing, and I have lots of things to write about going through my head, all followed with the thought: "I need to blog about that." This is the most thorough record of my life, for the past few years, anyway, so I really do need to get back on the wagon. I'm just so busy that this tends to fall on the wayside. I want to be a good blogger--I want to write stuff that means something, that I'd be happy to go back and read, grateful that I had written it. In other words, I want to do it well, and since I haven't had time to dedicate to doing it well, I just haven't done it. It's like quicksand: a bad trap to fall into, and I'm constantly trying to climb my way out of it. Sometimes it's just easier to let my world swallow me up than to fight to stay above ground.
I want to put in a picture here of my French Family. Unfortunately, all of those pictures are on film, and I haven't converted them over to digital yet. I found these on my friend Caroline's Facebook page. This is them in front of the chapel in Metz.
This is Didier and Martine in 2009. Aren't they adorable?
This family is amazing. They are intelligent and kind and good. I was a missionary in Metz in 2001, and Didier was the Branch President. It was my last area, and while I was getting ready to go home, Caro was getting ready to leave for her mission in England. We enjoyed singing together, and she went out with us frequently. I loved spending time with them. I visited them when I went back for a study-abroad in 2004, and stayed at their home for a few days. It wasn't long enough, but it was great to be with them for a little while.
I found out that Martine passed away this week. She had cancer, which had come back pretty aggressively this time. It wasn't unexpected, but I'm not sure that makes it any easier. I hadn't seen them since 2004, but it still hit me like a ton of bricks. Martine was one of those rare people who actually lived in a Christlike manner. She was unfailingly kind and generous, always happy and radiating goodness. She had so much faith and charity, you couldn't help but be drawn to her and want to follow her example.
That's one reason why it hurts. She was such a beautiful person, and I won't get to see her again until I'm on the other side. When I realized that, it reminded me of all the good people in my life who are on the other side, who are missing from me. And it ripped open those wounds that have taken so long to heal. I know I can't understand the will of God with my little mind, and I know the pain becomes more bearable over time, but the scars are always there. I will always ache for my John, for my dear Josie, for Martine, and for the others I have lost.
Martine loved to sing, and she had a beautiful voice. She was so humble about it that she was shy about sharing her talent. I have joined a choir that will be performing some Christmas concerts, and I know she would have loved to have been part of it. One of the pieces we will sing is called, "In the First Light" (listen to a version of it here). As Sarah knows, I couldn't get through this song without crying, and now it's basically impossible to keep my composure--especially when we come to this part:
"Hear the angels as they're singing
On the morning of His birth
But how much greater will our song be
When He comes again to Earth."
I know Martine is an angel now, and she'll be singing in heavenly praises to our Lord for the rest of eternity. I will try to sing to honor her, though it will mostly just end up with me in tears, trying to express a gratitude to God for the gift of having known her.
I want to put in a picture here of my French Family. Unfortunately, all of those pictures are on film, and I haven't converted them over to digital yet. I found these on my friend Caroline's Facebook page. This is them in front of the chapel in Metz.
 |
| Caroline, Olivier, Didier and Martine Houmeau, circa 2004 |
This family is amazing. They are intelligent and kind and good. I was a missionary in Metz in 2001, and Didier was the Branch President. It was my last area, and while I was getting ready to go home, Caro was getting ready to leave for her mission in England. We enjoyed singing together, and she went out with us frequently. I loved spending time with them. I visited them when I went back for a study-abroad in 2004, and stayed at their home for a few days. It wasn't long enough, but it was great to be with them for a little while.
I found out that Martine passed away this week. She had cancer, which had come back pretty aggressively this time. It wasn't unexpected, but I'm not sure that makes it any easier. I hadn't seen them since 2004, but it still hit me like a ton of bricks. Martine was one of those rare people who actually lived in a Christlike manner. She was unfailingly kind and generous, always happy and radiating goodness. She had so much faith and charity, you couldn't help but be drawn to her and want to follow her example.
That's one reason why it hurts. She was such a beautiful person, and I won't get to see her again until I'm on the other side. When I realized that, it reminded me of all the good people in my life who are on the other side, who are missing from me. And it ripped open those wounds that have taken so long to heal. I know I can't understand the will of God with my little mind, and I know the pain becomes more bearable over time, but the scars are always there. I will always ache for my John, for my dear Josie, for Martine, and for the others I have lost.
Martine loved to sing, and she had a beautiful voice. She was so humble about it that she was shy about sharing her talent. I have joined a choir that will be performing some Christmas concerts, and I know she would have loved to have been part of it. One of the pieces we will sing is called, "In the First Light" (listen to a version of it here). As Sarah knows, I couldn't get through this song without crying, and now it's basically impossible to keep my composure--especially when we come to this part:
"Hear the angels as they're singing
On the morning of His birth
But how much greater will our song be
When He comes again to Earth."
I know Martine is an angel now, and she'll be singing in heavenly praises to our Lord for the rest of eternity. I will try to sing to honor her, though it will mostly just end up with me in tears, trying to express a gratitude to God for the gift of having known her.
25 September 2011
Who I Am, Who I'm Not and Who I Want to Be
There
have been a lot of voices, in the blogosphere and otherwise, telling me
that I need to decide who I want to be. I have made "To Do" type
bucket lists before, but I have never made a "To Be" list. I think I
have been avoiding it for a long time, because it requires
self-examination, looking into the deepest parts of your soul to figure
out who you really want to be.
A very wise man once said: “With most people, conversion [spiritual rebirth and accompanying
remission of sins] is a process; and it goes step by step, degree by
degree, level by level, from a lower state to a higher, from grace to
grace, until the time that the individual is wholly turned to the cause
of righteousness. Now, this means that an individual overcomes one sin
today and another sin tomorrow. He perfects his life in one field now,
and in another field later on. And the conversion process goes on until
it is completed, until we become, literally, as the Book of Mormon says,
saints of God instead of natural men” (Bruce R. McConkie, Be Ye Converted, Brigham Young University Speeches of the Year (Feb. 11, 1968), 12).
I
have a very long journey before me, from who I am now toward who I want
to be. I have been taking notes at certain events, many of which are
pointing me in this direction. For example, my mom took all of the
girls to "Time Out For Women," held at the Kent Concert Hall in Logan on
September 16-17th. The theme of this conference is "Choose to
Become." It was really an inspiring event, and I'd like to share them
put them here for future reference.
 | |
| Sarah, Rebecca, Me, Lexy, Mom & Rachael @ El Toro (during the lunch break on Saturday) |
Friday 9/16/11
Pick
one thing and do it well. I can develop talents I don't know I have.
There's much to be done. What will I be remembered for? Am I a positive
person? Do I believe in a happy ending for myself?
Our Father in Heaven has high expectations. Faith breeds optimism. Choose to become who you want to be. Lay
hold upon every good thing. Faith is the power: pray, think and live
with faith. Matt 7:7-11. Am I given stones when I ask for bread? What
if He wants to give me bread, but I'm not asking for the right thing? I
have to know that it's right. My faith is small, but if I give it all,
it will be enough. Do the thing you think you cannot do. (Eleanor
Roosevelt). What limits have I placed on my life?. Ephesians 3:20. He
thinks exceedingly, abundantly above what I can think.
I
am where I am because of my choices. Hope is wanting what I want, and
faith is wanting what God wants. It is not too late to change. See Cast Not Away Your Confidence (JRH @ BYU 1999).
I am in charge of who I want to be. Do I treasure motherhood? I
have to choose what dreams I need to follow. Will simple little dreams
suffice? We can choose what we do, but we can't control the
consequences.
Alma: be humble, submissive, diligent, ask for what I need. Life is not a
contest. Do I feel the need to compete with everybody else? Do I let
the world define my dreams? It's about MY progress. It's hard to be. I
need to think about my behaviors. Self-talk. "This is one of those
times." "I've done that myself." Think it through ahead of time. Decide
what changes I need to make, decide who I want to be before I'm in the
situation.
What is jealousy? It's not a
contest. We all have different strengths. What does the Lord think is
important? What will really matter in the long run? "You're not in that big
of a hurry." How do I want to feel? Keep my eternal purpose in mind.
Tell myself that something is distressing, not dangerous. Thoughts can
change what happens in my body. It's okay to let my feelings rise. The
images the world creates for me isn't real. If I can remind myself of
the correct vision, it will help me become who I really want to be.
Develop a "mother heart." It's the only thing I can change. There is always something to be grateful for.
Saturday 9/17/11
Esther 4:14. Trusting in the Lord, having patience in Him. God answers
prayers; not always in the way or in the time that I want.
I can give my life to the Lord through service. D&C 84:88. He will go before my face. D&C 54.
There
is power in forgiveness. Be grateful for my life. I am where I am
because Heavenly Father knew I needed my family. Forgive others, that I
may be forgiven. Don't counsel the Lord; He knows much better than I do
what I need.
Hold
fast to the iron rod. Helaman 5:12. 2 Nephi 4:26. Alma 7:11-12. He will
take upon Him the pains, sorrows & infirmities, that He may know how to succor us. If I decide to become something, He will give me the strength to accomplish it. Let the scriptures be my therapist.
Mercy River:
Let in the sunshine. We all need saving. Everything will be okay
eventually, but it's okay to hurt sometimes. It's okay to ask for help.
Mercy River. Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing.
I didn't plan to be a witch. Some ideas to find Holiness in the Havoc.
Take time to be holy. Make a conscious effort to remember the Savior.
Make something ordinary into a holy moment.
Survive tribulations. Everyone has them.
Remember who we are, what we signed up for. Figure out the one thing I want to change.
Remember
who your children really are. Have as five-facet review for your
children: how is each child doing physically, mentally, emotionally,
socially and spiritually? Do things with other women. Powerofmoms.com, valuesparenting.com.
Take Jesus with me. I tend to compartmentalize, but the Lord knows
everything that happens, whether I chose to include Him or not. It's
hard to see when you're in the midst of it. Life is a series of
problems. God is more interested in my character than in my comfort.
The key to becoming is learning and knowledge. It is better to pass through sorrow that we may know. Truth
and knowledge after the honey we reach for. Luke 10: story of Mary
& Martha. Martha was cumbered, careful and troubled about many
things. One thing is needful; choose the better part.
Staircase of righteousness and knowledge. Abraham 1:2. D&C 88, 50:24. The soul is like a messy room which needs tidying. If you respond to the light, you get more light. The theme of life is becoming, not arriving.
The Compass Principle. Find truth in its' most mature form. Plant the
fixed foot in the gospel. Use the searching foot, draw a large circle
and find truths. Never compare your best to their worst. Always learn
about other cultures from someone who lives it and loves it. Leave room
for holy envy. Moses on Mt. Nebo: Let it suffice thee. We will not become everything we want to become immediately.
Mercy River: God doesn't love us because we're perfect; He loves us
because He is perfect. He is waiting for us to turn around and come
back to Him. "I Belong to You." "Beautiful For Me"
Blaze your own trail.
B: Bold and Brave. Story of Deborah. Satan tells me I'm not _______ enough. With God, I can do anything.
E: Eternally minded. Set my mind and my heart on the Lord. Satan wants me to be worldly.
C: Creative. We are meant to create. Satan wants me to compare my talents with others.
O: Outward focus. Emmaline Wells. Satan wants me to focus on how busy I am. Think of those whose lives I can bless.
M: Meek. Be humble. Love the Lord, love my neighbor. He will teach me how to love.
E: Enlightened. Educate, organize, mobilize. Follow the Spirit. He will prompt me if I'm worthy and able to hear. Standforthefamily.org.
U: Unique. My goal is to become strong. My trail will be unique. Mothers without borders. Story of Caroline Zulu. Her journey was short, but she fulfilled her unique mission.
Discover who I am to become. Do everything I can to go forth and do it.
Mercy River: Love Never Fails. Heaven is real; it is closer than we think. Heavenly Echoes.
Mosiah 5. Retain the name in my heart. God knows what is going on in my
life. Difference between the whole of you and almost all of you. Acts:
Paul's testimony. Almost thou persuadest me to be a Christian. I have to
be fully committed. Would I walk 22 miles every week to go to the
temple? Every stone of the temple preaches a sermon. Holiness means to
be set apart. Is the name of the Lord chiseled upon my heart. Acts 20:
Paul served the Lord with all humility, and kept back nothing. When I
show Him I am altogether committed to Him, He will show me wisdom. 2
Timothy 2. The journey is hard. Trials can turn to testimony. The
moments that require the most sacrifice become the most important. These
moments are when we write the name of the Lord on our hearts. Is there
someone who thinks I'm worth it? Isaiah 49. The Lord will always
remember me. I am Christ's. I am His. He will not forsake me. He has
graven me on the palms of His hands. Isaiah 43: Fear not, for I am with
thee.
This is
a wonderful blog post that Emily wrote. I feel like I have been stuck
"in the middle" for a long time. It's not a bad place, though it is
frustrating and difficult to be in the midst of a journey without a
clear picture of the destination. I think that's where I need to start:
with the end in mind.
04 September 2011
Bring It Back Down Tonight
I have been meaning to write for a while. Between the computer issues, going back to work, watching The Tudors (thanks, Beck) and general fatigue, I just haven't had a lot of time. Since it is Labor Day weekend, and I don't have to be back to work until Tuesday (yay!), I decided it's time to catch up. Allen and his friend were able to get my vacation pictures off of the hard drive, so at least I have those. I still don't know what happened to Lappy, but she just won't turn on. At all. I don't get it, and it bugs me. Even Allen and his computer genius friend took her apart and couldn't see any reason why she died. Eventually I bit the bullet, and I did end up purchasing a new laptop. It's nice, and I felt like I got a good deal on it, but I'm annoyed that I had to shell out $500 for a replacement for a computer that was only 3-years-old. Gah.
I do want to document our vacation; I won't do it all tonight, since it's getting late and I'm distracted by watching "Fever Pitch" (great movie--I LOVE Jimmy Fallon). I'll start with Sunday, August 8th. It was the day my little nephew Zeke was blessed at Dave & Lexy's ward in Layton.
Not a great picture; I don't love how I set it up (yes, I am to blame for the funky arrangement), but we got everybody in it.
We left right after this picture was taken; we had to go back to SLC and pack up the car. We also needed to finish cleaning up, since our landlord was supposed to come in and replace some drywall in my bathroom while we were gone. They never did, but at least we came home to a pretty clean house. Anyway, we ended up leaving about 3pm. This is what the boy looked like for most of the trip:
Drinking from the sippy, squished in the back seat with all the rest of our stuff, etc. We are pretty lucky that he's such a good traveler--no major tantrums, lots of naps, no huge blowouts, and we don't have a dvd player, either. He's just a chill kid; busy, but very good at entertaining himself. Even with his cousins, who enjoy dumping water on him, tackling him, etc., he just takes it. I wish he'd fight back sometimes, but I'm glad he's so easy-going.
We didn't have any problems driving, except that we got a late start. We arrived in Las Vegas around 10pm, and we stayed at the South Point Hotel and Casino. I had never heard of it; I got all of our hotels on Priceline, so I didn't have a lot of choice in where we stayed. I was more interested in the 4-star rating than in the family-friendliness, so I was a little uncomfortable with dragging little man through the casino floor. Oh well. The room was nice, and Benji did pretty well sleeping in his little tent, but I don't think we'll go back. We were starving when we got there, and the only food place open offered pretty crappy burgers, soggy fries and tasteless milkshakes. Lame.
That was Sunday. We woke up fairly early on Monday, checked out and then drove to Rancho Cucamonga to visit Steve & Mary.
I can't write anymore now; I'm totally falling asleep. More later. :o)
I do want to document our vacation; I won't do it all tonight, since it's getting late and I'm distracted by watching "Fever Pitch" (great movie--I LOVE Jimmy Fallon). I'll start with Sunday, August 8th. It was the day my little nephew Zeke was blessed at Dave & Lexy's ward in Layton.
Not a great picture; I don't love how I set it up (yes, I am to blame for the funky arrangement), but we got everybody in it.
We left right after this picture was taken; we had to go back to SLC and pack up the car. We also needed to finish cleaning up, since our landlord was supposed to come in and replace some drywall in my bathroom while we were gone. They never did, but at least we came home to a pretty clean house. Anyway, we ended up leaving about 3pm. This is what the boy looked like for most of the trip:
Drinking from the sippy, squished in the back seat with all the rest of our stuff, etc. We are pretty lucky that he's such a good traveler--no major tantrums, lots of naps, no huge blowouts, and we don't have a dvd player, either. He's just a chill kid; busy, but very good at entertaining himself. Even with his cousins, who enjoy dumping water on him, tackling him, etc., he just takes it. I wish he'd fight back sometimes, but I'm glad he's so easy-going.
We didn't have any problems driving, except that we got a late start. We arrived in Las Vegas around 10pm, and we stayed at the South Point Hotel and Casino. I had never heard of it; I got all of our hotels on Priceline, so I didn't have a lot of choice in where we stayed. I was more interested in the 4-star rating than in the family-friendliness, so I was a little uncomfortable with dragging little man through the casino floor. Oh well. The room was nice, and Benji did pretty well sleeping in his little tent, but I don't think we'll go back. We were starving when we got there, and the only food place open offered pretty crappy burgers, soggy fries and tasteless milkshakes. Lame.
That was Sunday. We woke up fairly early on Monday, checked out and then drove to Rancho Cucamonga to visit Steve & Mary.
I can't write anymore now; I'm totally falling asleep. More later. :o)
17 August 2011
A Week Without You, Thought I'd Forget
Quick update: when we got home, my laptop would not turn on. Plug it in--nothing. Take the battery out and put it back in--nothing. It won't even attempt to boot up. I'm very sad about it, since almost all of my pictures are on Lappy and are currently totally inaccessible. I did upload some of them to a web album, but they aren't a great quality and don't have any of the fantastic animal shots I got at the Safari Park and at the San Diego Zoo. Allen says he needs to tear it apart to see if he can figure out what's wrong, but to do so he needs to be free from Benjamin. That's fine, except that I'm back to work now and he only has a few hours a day where he could do it, and he should be sleeping during those times. Gah.
Well, here's a link to the pictures I do have. I believe they go through Wednesday, August 10th. That's when I uploaded them, anyway.
<embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="https://picasaweb.google.com/s/c/bin/slideshow.swf" width="400" height="267" flashvars="host=picasaweb.google.com&hl=en_US&feat=flashalbum&RGB=0x000000&feed=https%3A%2F%2Fpicasaweb.google.com%2Fdata%2Ffeed%2Fapi%2Fuser%2Fmarynolancox%2Falbumid%2F5639493377501362449%3Falt%3Drss%26kind%3Dphoto%26authkey%3DGv1sRgCITT6dGz-eD26gE%26hl%3Den_US" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed>
Well, here's a link to the pictures I do have. I believe they go through Wednesday, August 10th. That's when I uploaded them, anyway.
<embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="https://picasaweb.google.com/s/c/bin/slideshow.swf" width="400" height="267" flashvars="host=picasaweb.google.com&hl=en_US&feat=flashalbum&RGB=0x000000&feed=https%3A%2F%2Fpicasaweb.google.com%2Fdata%2Ffeed%2Fapi%2Fuser%2Fmarynolancox%2Falbumid%2F5639493377501362449%3Falt%3Drss%26kind%3Dphoto%26authkey%3DGv1sRgCITT6dGz-eD26gE%26hl%3Den_US" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed>
12 August 2011
What Would You Give to Getaway?
I have been meaning to write a new blog post for a while; actually, I did write a fairly long one, but I'm still not sure I want to publish it. So I haven't totally fallen off the face, or totally given up on my blog; I'm just debating on the appropriateness of sharing certain things.
In any case, I wanted to share something, since WE ARE ON VACATION, and I want to make you jealous. I'll write more when we get home; we are having lots of fun and we are dog tired when we get back to our hotel. This is from Tuesday: a little beach-time collage.
And this is from today, at the Safari Park.
I'll do a proper post when we get home. I need to sleep so we can hit the Alley tomorrow! Happy Anniversary to Me!
In any case, I wanted to share something, since WE ARE ON VACATION, and I want to make you jealous. I'll write more when we get home; we are having lots of fun and we are dog tired when we get back to our hotel. This is from Tuesday: a little beach-time collage.
And this is from today, at the Safari Park.
18 July 2011
Is It Getting Better?
I never really wrote a follow-up on my shoulder. I have had a hard time writing about it, because it's not progressing as fast as I think it should be, but I do need to write something. I'll try to scan in the pictures, because they say a lot more about the surgery than I can (especially if I want to keep this at a length where Sarah will actually read it . . . j/k).
I had the surgery on Monday, June 20th. It was scheduled for about 1pm, and they were running a bit late. Thankfully I was entertained by my new smartphone (on which I was reading Pride and Prejudice . . . maybe I should have just brought the book with me!). As far as I knew, everything went well. I was out of it for quite some time. I'm glad I was able to spend the next few days at Mom's house so she could help run after the boy. I had to wear a sling full-time for a few days, then I could wear it off-and-on (mostly on). I was not very prepared for the pain; I was alternating Oxycodone and Ibuprofen every few hours. I really didn't like the narcotics--they did take care of the pain, but I was so out of it when I took more than one (the dose was 1-2 every 4 hours). It took me a couple of weeks, but I weaned myself off of them. I really hate being dependent on anything, which is why I really should cut the Diet Coke. Alas--I'll admit that I am addicted to that. It's not healthy, but it is legal.
I had a post-op appointment with Dr. Fukushima on June 29th. They took out the stitches (four smallish incisions) and put steri-strips on. I thought that was kind-of overkill, so I left those on for a couple of days and then pulled them off. When he came in to talk to me, he told me that my shoulder was "blitzed out," (yes, those were his words) and it really couldn't have waited much longer. He did another surgery the same day, on a woman who had had four or five full dislocations and multiple partials, and he said mine was much worse than hers. Go for the gusto, right? Well, the cartilage tears were pretty significant, the bursa was quite red and inflamed, and I had actually torn a nice chunk of bone and cartilage off of the head of the humerus, so I had a free body floating around in the capsule, tearing everything up for those three weeks before the surgery. He fished out the piece of bone, tacked down the cartilage, smoothed off the rough edges, and tightened up the capsule. At the appointment, he checked my range of motion and said it looked really good, but he wanted me to slow down because my shoulder had been so damaged. He also wanted to wait a bit longer than I would have liked to start physical therapy, to give me a little more time to heal. *sigh*
So I have started P.T. at TOSH, which is only a couple of miles from where I live. The therapist I am supposed to be seeing has been out of town this whole time, so I have been seeing this guy named Robby, usually twice per week. I like him a lot, and we're the same age, so we get along pretty well. I told him about Harry Potter, and he told me about his girlfriend getting lost while hiking, etc., etc. Thus far, most of the therapy has been stretching--stuff I really couldn't (or wouldn't) do at home, because it is painful. I don't feel like I do much personally (it's more passive movement on my end), but I'm exhausted when it's done. I'm supposed to start seeing my actual therapist this week. It's a little sad, because I really like Robby. Oh well--c'est la vie.
It is getting better, slowly but surely. I'm not at 100% of movement and strength, and I probably won't be for a few months, but the movement is becoming easier, and I'm getting more range-of-motion back. I still have a hard time doing my hair (there's your empathy challenge, friends--try doing your hair without raising your dominant arm more than 90 degrees), but I am feeling pretty good otherwise. I'm only taking Ibuprofen occasionally (usually after P.T.), and I'm totally off of the narcotics (I have been for a couple of weeks, and I haven't filled the new prescription he gave me). I am to the point where I'm feeling a little guilty about having taken the summer "off", even if I didn't have a conscientious choice in the matter. I am enjoying spending time with the little man; more so now that I can do more with him and don't have to wear the sling much at all. I have a feeling that going back to work will be a lot harder than I thought it would be. I do miss it, but I didn't realize how much I was missing my boy, either.
So that's where I'm at. Slow improvements, wondering at how fast the time seems to have flown. Lots of other things have happened, and I'll try to catch up on them eventually. You'd think I'd be writing more often; it's funny how time slips through your fingers, isn't it? "It leaves you baby, if you don't care for it."
I had the surgery on Monday, June 20th. It was scheduled for about 1pm, and they were running a bit late. Thankfully I was entertained by my new smartphone (on which I was reading Pride and Prejudice . . . maybe I should have just brought the book with me!). As far as I knew, everything went well. I was out of it for quite some time. I'm glad I was able to spend the next few days at Mom's house so she could help run after the boy. I had to wear a sling full-time for a few days, then I could wear it off-and-on (mostly on). I was not very prepared for the pain; I was alternating Oxycodone and Ibuprofen every few hours. I really didn't like the narcotics--they did take care of the pain, but I was so out of it when I took more than one (the dose was 1-2 every 4 hours). It took me a couple of weeks, but I weaned myself off of them. I really hate being dependent on anything, which is why I really should cut the Diet Coke. Alas--I'll admit that I am addicted to that. It's not healthy, but it is legal.
I had a post-op appointment with Dr. Fukushima on June 29th. They took out the stitches (four smallish incisions) and put steri-strips on. I thought that was kind-of overkill, so I left those on for a couple of days and then pulled them off. When he came in to talk to me, he told me that my shoulder was "blitzed out," (yes, those were his words) and it really couldn't have waited much longer. He did another surgery the same day, on a woman who had had four or five full dislocations and multiple partials, and he said mine was much worse than hers. Go for the gusto, right? Well, the cartilage tears were pretty significant, the bursa was quite red and inflamed, and I had actually torn a nice chunk of bone and cartilage off of the head of the humerus, so I had a free body floating around in the capsule, tearing everything up for those three weeks before the surgery. He fished out the piece of bone, tacked down the cartilage, smoothed off the rough edges, and tightened up the capsule. At the appointment, he checked my range of motion and said it looked really good, but he wanted me to slow down because my shoulder had been so damaged. He also wanted to wait a bit longer than I would have liked to start physical therapy, to give me a little more time to heal. *sigh*
So I have started P.T. at TOSH, which is only a couple of miles from where I live. The therapist I am supposed to be seeing has been out of town this whole time, so I have been seeing this guy named Robby, usually twice per week. I like him a lot, and we're the same age, so we get along pretty well. I told him about Harry Potter, and he told me about his girlfriend getting lost while hiking, etc., etc. Thus far, most of the therapy has been stretching--stuff I really couldn't (or wouldn't) do at home, because it is painful. I don't feel like I do much personally (it's more passive movement on my end), but I'm exhausted when it's done. I'm supposed to start seeing my actual therapist this week. It's a little sad, because I really like Robby. Oh well--c'est la vie.
It is getting better, slowly but surely. I'm not at 100% of movement and strength, and I probably won't be for a few months, but the movement is becoming easier, and I'm getting more range-of-motion back. I still have a hard time doing my hair (there's your empathy challenge, friends--try doing your hair without raising your dominant arm more than 90 degrees), but I am feeling pretty good otherwise. I'm only taking Ibuprofen occasionally (usually after P.T.), and I'm totally off of the narcotics (I have been for a couple of weeks, and I haven't filled the new prescription he gave me). I am to the point where I'm feeling a little guilty about having taken the summer "off", even if I didn't have a conscientious choice in the matter. I am enjoying spending time with the little man; more so now that I can do more with him and don't have to wear the sling much at all. I have a feeling that going back to work will be a lot harder than I thought it would be. I do miss it, but I didn't realize how much I was missing my boy, either.
So that's where I'm at. Slow improvements, wondering at how fast the time seems to have flown. Lots of other things have happened, and I'll try to catch up on them eventually. You'd think I'd be writing more often; it's funny how time slips through your fingers, isn't it? "It leaves you baby, if you don't care for it."
15 July 2011
A Few of My Favorite Things
There are a few things in life that I really love. The gospel of Jesus Christ. Europe. U2. Roses. The ocean. Harry Potter.
Yes, I'm going to write about Harry again. You don't have to read this, but it really is important to me, and I don't really write for anyone else's benefit . . . I guess I'm just hoping to find some kindred spirits and open some eyes.
Let me start by saying that I believe things are popular for a reason: they are good. There are some exceptions (hem, hem, Britney Spears), but in general I think most people don't pay a lot of attention to books/movies/music that are bad. Sure, the inner rebel in me doesn't want to follow the crowd, to be the only one who really appreciates something, but another part of me is glad that so many people have discovered the same things I have. The latter part of my little heart is swollen tonight: I'm definitely not alone in my love for all things Harry Potter.
I watched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Part 2) this evening. It was bittersweet. I had a terrible seat, the theater was hot and crowded, and through most of the show I really had to pee, but I couldn't tear my eyes away. Like many of you, I have been waiting for this for years, and I have read all the books, and I can't wait to make a pilgrimage to Orlando. So I was very excited to see it, and I even allowed myself to cry. Anyone who really knows me knows that I never cry during movies (especially at the theater); I'm pretty good at recognizing Hollywood's attempts to manipulate my emotions, so I can turn it off. Harry is different. I have spent so much time with these characters, reading about them, watching them grow up through the movies, even writing the occasional short story about them (don't ask), that I feel like I know them. I have read the entire series several times, and I know I will read them all again in the future. Why? Harry, Ron and Hermione feel like old friends to me. I want to check in on them every so often. I want to get back into the story and laugh and cry and feel with them. I want to remember why I fell in love with them, and do it all over again.
I love the books, especially Deathly Hallows. Jo Rowling is an incredible writer, with an amazing imagination. I marvel at the things she came up with, and how she is able to transport readers of so many ages and backgrounds into a different, beautiful, magical world. And she did it so well, I'm sure the producers and directors of the movies had a very difficult time putting so many rich details into a 2.5 hour movie. I know they had to make tough decisions on what to put in and what to leave out, and I know so little about movie making that I can't judge those choices as a critic. All I can do is write about things I liked and things I didn't like. It won't change anything, but it will clear my mind. If it interests you, read on. If not, no hard feelings, though I hope you'll give it a chance.
Ah, what the heck--let's go with pros and cons (again). It's easier to write, and I'm really tired right now.
Pro: Cinematography. The movie was visually stunning, and I couldn't tell where there were obvious green screens used. They did a phenomenal job putting the audience into the magical world. The spells effects were awesome; they helped me feel the power of the magic. Watching Hogwarts be destroyed, seeing so many friends fighting for a greater cause, feeling Harry struggle to fulfill his destiny . . . it was all very emotional for me. I'm glad they jumped off the 3D bandwagon--it didn't need it.
Con: The only obvious computer effect that bothered me was in Snape's memories. I think they should have used another actor and some makeup. I adore Alan Rickman, and I don't know that another actor could have made that scene as powerful as it was, but the image manipulation was a little too obvious for my taste.
Pro: The music was hauntingly beautiful, and I think Alexandre Desplat was the perfect person to do it. It's nothing against John Williams; his scores were wonderful for the first few films, but as Harry's journey goes deeper into the darkness, the cheerful and predictable themes just weren't appropriate anymore.
Con: Screenwriting. I wish they had been a bit more true to the book, though I'm sure it was a painful process of cutting and editing while trying to get the general story correct.
Pro: Cast. I love that nearly the entire cast stuck it through together. It makes the movie that much more powerful, associating specific actors with certain characters, and having seen these kids grow up before your eyes. It's like visiting old friends. I love it.
Con: Things they left out: any kind of planning by Harry and company; any fighting by elves and other friends in the battle (I wish that Kreacher, Grawp and others had been there to fight, even though S.P.E.W. was never mentioned in the movies), the battle on the field, the final scene in the Headmaster's office, where Harry gets to speak to Dumbledore (and get his wand back). Remus's visit to Shell Cottage and making Harry godfather to his son. I especially missed Harry and Voldemort's final talk--there was much more emotion in the book, with Harry explaining to "Tom" how love would be his downfall, his explaining to him how Harry's love protected his friends. The film had much more physical fighting. Again--that was visually stunning, but still less powerful to me than the words.
Pro: Things they did well. Gringotts, with the dragon and the cups in the vault. Helena Bonham-Carter playing Hermione playing Bellatrix--fantastic. The final scene at platform 9 3/4. The Room of Requirement. The Grey Lady. Aberforth (who looked a lot like Dumbledore). Kings Cross. Creation and destruction of the shield around Hogwarts. All pretty faithful, and receiving the oh-so-important Mary-Stamp-of-Approval.
Con: Things they changed that I didn't like: Ron and Hermione's first kiss in the Chamber of Secrets. Nothing like destroying a bit of someone's soul to make you want to snog your best friend, eh? Also, the special-guest-appearances: there are cameos of some people, like Percy and Arthur Weasley. Even the twins had less 10 words between them. The thing that bothers me the most is the near-absence of Harry's invisibility cloak. It plays such a huge role in the books, and the only time you see it in the course of the last several movies is at Gringotts. Also, Harry's breaking the Elder Wand. Yeah, that's symbolic, but kind-of disrespectful too.
Pro: Things they changed that I liked: the revolt against Snape and his flying away. The boat house instead of the shrieking shack. Voldemort feeling the destruction of each horcrux. The Malfoys recognition of what's really important, though Narcissa could use one of those moments with her hairdresser.
Con: Neville's underestimated role. He was much more important than the director made him out to be. I didn't like that his speech was mocked and shortened, or that he dragged around the sword of Gryffindor until he felt like killing a snake. I guess Neville is simply more important in the books, so he didn't get more than 2 minutes of time in the movie. It's too bad . . . especially since he has turned into a little hottie! Ka-chow!
There's more I'd like to say, but I need to sleep so I can go see it again tomorrow. All in all, it was really well done. I'm relieved, I'm sad, I'm happy, I'm excited. It's not very often that a movie can do all that for me, and it's even more rare that I find a story that becomes such an important part of me that I'll read it and watch it and think about it over and over again. And I'm glad I'm not the only person who feels this way. :o)
Yes, I'm going to write about Harry again. You don't have to read this, but it really is important to me, and I don't really write for anyone else's benefit . . . I guess I'm just hoping to find some kindred spirits and open some eyes.
Let me start by saying that I believe things are popular for a reason: they are good. There are some exceptions (hem, hem, Britney Spears), but in general I think most people don't pay a lot of attention to books/movies/music that are bad. Sure, the inner rebel in me doesn't want to follow the crowd, to be the only one who really appreciates something, but another part of me is glad that so many people have discovered the same things I have. The latter part of my little heart is swollen tonight: I'm definitely not alone in my love for all things Harry Potter.
I watched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Part 2) this evening. It was bittersweet. I had a terrible seat, the theater was hot and crowded, and through most of the show I really had to pee, but I couldn't tear my eyes away. Like many of you, I have been waiting for this for years, and I have read all the books, and I can't wait to make a pilgrimage to Orlando. So I was very excited to see it, and I even allowed myself to cry. Anyone who really knows me knows that I never cry during movies (especially at the theater); I'm pretty good at recognizing Hollywood's attempts to manipulate my emotions, so I can turn it off. Harry is different. I have spent so much time with these characters, reading about them, watching them grow up through the movies, even writing the occasional short story about them (don't ask), that I feel like I know them. I have read the entire series several times, and I know I will read them all again in the future. Why? Harry, Ron and Hermione feel like old friends to me. I want to check in on them every so often. I want to get back into the story and laugh and cry and feel with them. I want to remember why I fell in love with them, and do it all over again.
I love the books, especially Deathly Hallows. Jo Rowling is an incredible writer, with an amazing imagination. I marvel at the things she came up with, and how she is able to transport readers of so many ages and backgrounds into a different, beautiful, magical world. And she did it so well, I'm sure the producers and directors of the movies had a very difficult time putting so many rich details into a 2.5 hour movie. I know they had to make tough decisions on what to put in and what to leave out, and I know so little about movie making that I can't judge those choices as a critic. All I can do is write about things I liked and things I didn't like. It won't change anything, but it will clear my mind. If it interests you, read on. If not, no hard feelings, though I hope you'll give it a chance.
Ah, what the heck--let's go with pros and cons (again). It's easier to write, and I'm really tired right now.
Pro: Cinematography. The movie was visually stunning, and I couldn't tell where there were obvious green screens used. They did a phenomenal job putting the audience into the magical world. The spells effects were awesome; they helped me feel the power of the magic. Watching Hogwarts be destroyed, seeing so many friends fighting for a greater cause, feeling Harry struggle to fulfill his destiny . . . it was all very emotional for me. I'm glad they jumped off the 3D bandwagon--it didn't need it.
Con: The only obvious computer effect that bothered me was in Snape's memories. I think they should have used another actor and some makeup. I adore Alan Rickman, and I don't know that another actor could have made that scene as powerful as it was, but the image manipulation was a little too obvious for my taste.
Pro: The music was hauntingly beautiful, and I think Alexandre Desplat was the perfect person to do it. It's nothing against John Williams; his scores were wonderful for the first few films, but as Harry's journey goes deeper into the darkness, the cheerful and predictable themes just weren't appropriate anymore.
Con: Screenwriting. I wish they had been a bit more true to the book, though I'm sure it was a painful process of cutting and editing while trying to get the general story correct.
Pro: Cast. I love that nearly the entire cast stuck it through together. It makes the movie that much more powerful, associating specific actors with certain characters, and having seen these kids grow up before your eyes. It's like visiting old friends. I love it.
Con: Things they left out: any kind of planning by Harry and company; any fighting by elves and other friends in the battle (I wish that Kreacher, Grawp and others had been there to fight, even though S.P.E.W. was never mentioned in the movies), the battle on the field, the final scene in the Headmaster's office, where Harry gets to speak to Dumbledore (and get his wand back). Remus's visit to Shell Cottage and making Harry godfather to his son. I especially missed Harry and Voldemort's final talk--there was much more emotion in the book, with Harry explaining to "Tom" how love would be his downfall, his explaining to him how Harry's love protected his friends. The film had much more physical fighting. Again--that was visually stunning, but still less powerful to me than the words.
Pro: Things they did well. Gringotts, with the dragon and the cups in the vault. Helena Bonham-Carter playing Hermione playing Bellatrix--fantastic. The final scene at platform 9 3/4. The Room of Requirement. The Grey Lady. Aberforth (who looked a lot like Dumbledore). Kings Cross. Creation and destruction of the shield around Hogwarts. All pretty faithful, and receiving the oh-so-important Mary-Stamp-of-Approval.
Con: Things they changed that I didn't like: Ron and Hermione's first kiss in the Chamber of Secrets. Nothing like destroying a bit of someone's soul to make you want to snog your best friend, eh? Also, the special-guest-appearances: there are cameos of some people, like Percy and Arthur Weasley. Even the twins had less 10 words between them. The thing that bothers me the most is the near-absence of Harry's invisibility cloak. It plays such a huge role in the books, and the only time you see it in the course of the last several movies is at Gringotts. Also, Harry's breaking the Elder Wand. Yeah, that's symbolic, but kind-of disrespectful too.
Pro: Things they changed that I liked: the revolt against Snape and his flying away. The boat house instead of the shrieking shack. Voldemort feeling the destruction of each horcrux. The Malfoys recognition of what's really important, though Narcissa could use one of those moments with her hairdresser.
Con: Neville's underestimated role. He was much more important than the director made him out to be. I didn't like that his speech was mocked and shortened, or that he dragged around the sword of Gryffindor until he felt like killing a snake. I guess Neville is simply more important in the books, so he didn't get more than 2 minutes of time in the movie. It's too bad . . . especially since he has turned into a little hottie! Ka-chow!
There's more I'd like to say, but I need to sleep so I can go see it again tomorrow. All in all, it was really well done. I'm relieved, I'm sad, I'm happy, I'm excited. It's not very often that a movie can do all that for me, and it's even more rare that I find a story that becomes such an important part of me that I'll read it and watch it and think about it over and over again. And I'm glad I'm not the only person who feels this way. :o)
27 June 2011
Stories for Boys
It has been a while since I have written about my Benji. Here are a few tidbits:
We have been watching a lot of Signing Time, which we borrowed from a friend. It's great, and Benji loves it. He's slowly getting more and more words into his vocabulary. He's still not communicating very well, but he recognizes and repeats words, and can do the signs to many of them. He tries to do the signs for the letters, but he's still working on getting those little fingers in the right place.
He has become really good with saying his alphabet. He enjoys saying it at random times, starting in random places ("P" is a particular favorite), and in a high little voice. It's pretty cute, if I do say so myself. In fact, during a talk at church, he decided to say it quite loudly. Pretty funny.
He recognizes a lot of animals. He can look at a book with pictures of animals and say "horse" or "dog," but he won't do it on demand. He'll only do it if it's when he wants to, or when we aren't 'paying attention.' He still says "quack" when he sees pictures of ducks.
He has his favorite words. It's currently "pen." But the sign for it is fingerspelling P-E-N, and his "P" sounds like "E." So he goes around saying, "E-E-E-N." He's also saying (and doing the sign for) "drink," which is pretty helpful.
He has decided that he wants to take naps . . . at 5:30 p.m. And I won't let him sleep past 6pm (I'm so mean!). He goes and goes and goes all day, then it gets quiet and I know he's fallen asleep. We're working on it.
He love to sit in laundry baskets. I'm pretty sure most kids do, but I still find it funny . . . except when there's clean laundry in it and his feet and hands are dirty.
I know I've said it before, but this boy loves water. He would play in it all day if I'd let him. I took him to the Gateway water fountain a couple of weeks ago, and he just loved it.
We cut his hair last week, and it makes him look so grown up! I love it, but it makes me sad at the same time.
We have been trying to potty-train for a few months now. If he would tell us when he needed to go, it would be a lot more successful. He does like to strip off his pants and diaper and just go wherever he feels like it. Yeah, that's my favorite thing. We have to put him in zip-up pajamas and safety-pin the zipper up at the top if we want him to keep his diaper on at night; otherwise, he's almost always naked and his bed is always wet when he wakes up. Gah. We can usually get him to go before his bath . . . we have to wait with him for about 10 minutes before he decides to go, and we have to wipe everything down afterward (aiming isn't the easiest thing), but it's a start.
He hates anything around his neck or on his face. He makes a choking sound when we try to button up shirts or safety pin his pajamas or even wash his face. It's kind-of obnoxious, but what do you do?
So that's my boy (for now). He's not always easy to deal with, but I love him so much.
We have been watching a lot of Signing Time, which we borrowed from a friend. It's great, and Benji loves it. He's slowly getting more and more words into his vocabulary. He's still not communicating very well, but he recognizes and repeats words, and can do the signs to many of them. He tries to do the signs for the letters, but he's still working on getting those little fingers in the right place.
He has become really good with saying his alphabet. He enjoys saying it at random times, starting in random places ("P" is a particular favorite), and in a high little voice. It's pretty cute, if I do say so myself. In fact, during a talk at church, he decided to say it quite loudly. Pretty funny.
He recognizes a lot of animals. He can look at a book with pictures of animals and say "horse" or "dog," but he won't do it on demand. He'll only do it if it's when he wants to, or when we aren't 'paying attention.' He still says "quack" when he sees pictures of ducks.
He has his favorite words. It's currently "pen." But the sign for it is fingerspelling P-E-N, and his "P" sounds like "E." So he goes around saying, "E-E-E-N." He's also saying (and doing the sign for) "drink," which is pretty helpful.
He has decided that he wants to take naps . . . at 5:30 p.m. And I won't let him sleep past 6pm (I'm so mean!). He goes and goes and goes all day, then it gets quiet and I know he's fallen asleep. We're working on it.
He love to sit in laundry baskets. I'm pretty sure most kids do, but I still find it funny . . . except when there's clean laundry in it and his feet and hands are dirty.
I know I've said it before, but this boy loves water. He would play in it all day if I'd let him. I took him to the Gateway water fountain a couple of weeks ago, and he just loved it.
We cut his hair last week, and it makes him look so grown up! I love it, but it makes me sad at the same time.
We have been trying to potty-train for a few months now. If he would tell us when he needed to go, it would be a lot more successful. He does like to strip off his pants and diaper and just go wherever he feels like it. Yeah, that's my favorite thing. We have to put him in zip-up pajamas and safety-pin the zipper up at the top if we want him to keep his diaper on at night; otherwise, he's almost always naked and his bed is always wet when he wakes up. Gah. We can usually get him to go before his bath . . . we have to wait with him for about 10 minutes before he decides to go, and we have to wipe everything down afterward (aiming isn't the easiest thing), but it's a start.
He hates anything around his neck or on his face. He makes a choking sound when we try to button up shirts or safety pin his pajamas or even wash his face. It's kind-of obnoxious, but what do you do?
So that's my boy (for now). He's not always easy to deal with, but I love him so much.
13 June 2011
She Moves In Mysterious Ways
As much as I love the pictures from the U2 concert, my blog seemed very dark. So I felt the need to lighten it up a bit. Hope you like it.
Here's the story of what I've been dealing with for the past couple of weeks. For Memorial Day, we went to Logan. It was rainy and cold most of the weekend, so not many pictures, sorry. Wait--let me back up. Our dryer decided to bite it the week before, so I took the boy to Logan in Allen's car, so Allen could use mine to transport a new dryer that Saturday. I didn't realize it, but my backseat folds up to leave quite a bit of room in the back for storage/transport. Who knew? (I suppose I would if I actually read the owner's manual, but that's beside the point.) Anyway, he found a pretty nice used dryer in Logan (on the KSL classifieds), so he drove up and picked it up, then spent the rest of the weekend with the family.
On Monday the 30th, we went up to the cemetery and released some balloons from John's grave. Afterward, some of us went to see Pirates 4 (very good, btw). We hung out for a little while, and Allen helped Dad and Dave give priesthood blessings to Mom (who was having another heart ablation that week) and to Lexy, whose labor was being induced on Monday night. Apparently, Allen had a feeling that something else was going to go wrong . . . I wish he would have shared that tidbit with me; I might have been more cautious.
As it is, we both got home around 5pm. I unloaded my stuff and Allen was trying to get everything arranged for the new dryer. I was walking in the door when I tripped over my feet. To anyone who knows me, that's nothing unusual--I trip all the time. This time, the difference was that I reached back with my right arm to stop myself from falling. Normally that wouldn't be a big deal, except for a small incident in 2007.
I thought I had blogged about this at some point, but I guess it was before I started blogging. Well, in August 2007, Allen and I were on our way out to dinner. We were living in Sugar House at the time, and I needed to run in to the house for something. I got out of the car and was walking when I tripped, and I reached back with my right arm to catch myself. Sound familiar? Well, I dislocated it the first time that day, so instead of spending the evening at a restaurant, we spent hours in the ER at St. Mark's hospital. Miserable. It was truly the worst pain I have ever felt. (Incidentally, when they were taking x-rays, they asked me if I was pregnant. I wasn't sure, though it was possible. I didn't really care until I got home and decided I should really find out. I took a pee test, and lo-and-behold, it was positive. Crazy, eh? I remember that my reaction was, "Seriously?" Not unwelcome, just unexpected.)
So . . . being pregnant, with a first-time dislocation, we decided to put off any surgery. I did a lot of physical therapy, and after a while I forgot about it. I went back to see that orthopedist after the boy was born, but I had such a terrible experience at that office, and I was feeling better, so I left and never went back.
Honestly, with passing time, I forgot I ever had a shoulder injury until Memorial Day. After I tripped, it all came rushing back very clearly. I thought to myself, "Oh crap--I hope I didn't dislocate my shoulder again." I tried to move my arm, but wasn't really able to. When I realized I had indeed dislocated again, I was pretty calm for a while, calling Sarah and Mach for assistance with Benji, texting my boss to tell her I wouldn't be in the next day, etc. All the while, Allen was struggling with the dryer, and he was supposed to be to work at 7pm, so I was trying to figure out how I was going to get my arm back in its' joint and take care of everything else. It wasn't pretty, and Allen was freaking out because of work, and with every moment my shoulder was growing more and more painful. Eventually, Allen got the dryer in, called in sick and took me to the Instacare. They decided they could do the reduction there, so Allen took the boy to Rachael's while the doctor manipulated it back into place.
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| Before = dislocated, after = back in place |
Thankfully he gave me some morphine to make it bearable. In the ER, they gave me Propofol and just popped it in, This doc took 15 minutes, all the while holding my arm and moving it ever-so-slowly back into place. I think I prefer the quick-and-dirty method, but I hope I will never have to endure another reduction. In any case, he gave me a sling and swathe and told me to wear it until I saw an Orthopod. All of this made working at my current job impossible, so I was off all week.
I got in to see Dr. Fukushima on Friday June 3rd (I knew him from IMC). He discussed my options with me. There is activity modification, pain pills, injections, physical therapy, and surgery. We decided to get an MRI of my shoulder to aid in the decision making. I also went in to work that day to discuss the situation with my boss. She wanted me to wait until the fall, if I did do surgery, since we are just getting into the busy summer season. She would support me in whatever decision I made, so I told her I'd think about it.
I had the MRI this last Wednesday, June 8th. I knew we were doing it "with contrast" (meaning that they inject a radioopaque dye into the shoulder capsule, which helps determine if there are tears and increases the accuracy of the study). I didn't realize that the injection would be a separate procedure, like a quick surgery though there was no anesthesia. They positioned me and prepped and draped (with the drapes over my head . . . probably the worst part of the whole thing) and injected the dye under fluoroscopy/C-arm. I'm glad they did it sterilly, I just wish I had been better prepared for that part of the procedure. They did inject some lidocaine as well as the dye, so it actually made my shoulder feel better for the MRI. That part took a good 45-50 minutes, most with my arm at my side, but some with my arm stretched overhead. That wasn't particularly fun, but it wasn't too bad after all.
I met with Dr. Fukushima again on Friday June 10th. First, he manipulated my arm a bit, having me bend it certain ways without help, then with his putting pressure on (stabilizing) the joint. It made a big difference, which didn't surprise either of us. He then went over the results of the MRI with me, and drew me a picture. It was just a simple drawing, but it looked something like this:
He explained that I have a Bankart tear (a type of Labral tear) and a Hill-Sachs lesion. FYI, this is an excellent overview of shoulder dislocations, and it describes things a lot better than I can. Being a recurrent dislocator, it will be just a matter of time before it happens again. And the other options--pain pills and injections--are just temporary. No thanks. Physical Therapy is a given; I'll be getting it with or without surgery, but if I do have the surgery, my chance of dislocating again is very low (less than 5%). The surgery is an outpatient procedure, done arthroscopically through three small incisions (less than 1cm each). The labrum is reattached to the glenoid using dissolvable screws, then he'll clean things out and tighten up the joint.
So . . . if you haven't figured it out, I decided to go forward with the surgery sooner than later. I'm not worried about it, though I would be more worried about a recurrence if I put it off any longer. Also, I'm only allowed so much time off per year, and I'm not sure breaking up my leave-of-absence would give me enough time to heal completely. Sorry, boss.
Eh bien, voilà . That's my story, and I'm sticking to it. I'm scheduled to go under the knife on Monday, June 20th. Wish me luck.
08 June 2011
Light My Way
I haven't written much lately, but I need to celebrate the new man in my life . . . Ezekiel David Nolan was born on May 31st at 6:11am, weighing in at 7 lbs 8 oz. I heard he was 21", but I'm not sure about that. Anyway, he is a little doll--such a sweetheart, and he definitely has a Nolan face. This is him on his first day in the world:
I took Benji up to visit today. I took some fun pictures, so here they are. He's adorable.
What a sweet boy. He's so tiny and calm and just adorable. I love babies!
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| Zeke with big brother Noah. He will have a lot of patience. |
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| So peaceful. After nursing, he was OUT. |
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| I love those baby faces. So funny. |
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| He may have a Nolan face, but that nose looks just like Noah's and Phoebe's. |
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| I really like the way this one turned out, even if it isn't totally in focus. |
27 May 2011
I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight
Last Tuesday I was GIDDY. Seriously--I could not stop smiling. Why, you ask? Because of a certain concert that I had been waiting for for well over a year.
This picture is terrible, but it was my ticket, and I couldn't get the darn camera to focus. I was too excited to get out the door. Yes, it is dated June 3, 2010, but my friend Bono decided to injure himself last year and postpone the entire North American leg of the tour. Very sad, but . . . time passed and the day finally came. So on Tuesday, I went to work and came home as per usual. Thankfully, Allen took the night off of work so I wouldn't have to worry about the boy. I did my hair, although it was already falling flat before I even left the house, changed into my special shirt (which no one appreciated) and left. I decided to take the public transportation route, which may or may not have been very smart; I didn't think so at the time, but had I tried to fight parking and driving home, I would probably think differently. Anyway, after procuring some Diet Coke, I drove to the 3300 South Trax Station and parked there.
I took a train to the downtown transfer station, which was packed. I waited there for about 20 minutes, and after one train came by with zero room to stuff another person in, I hopped back on the train going the opposite direction. I went one stop to wait there, and I actually got a seat on the next train going to the University. It still took a good 30 minutes for the train to get from downtown to the University, so I arrived at about 7pm.
So once I arrived at Rice-Eccles Stadium (a venue which probably hasn't been this busy since the Olympics in 2002), I threw away my perfectly good Diet Coke (only to purchase one smaller at twice the price 100 feet away . . . grrrrrr) and got lucky that the bag checker was an older lady who decided that my camera was okay to go in. I was so glad.
I texted my friend Allison a few times while there, but it was hard to send and receive messages. She had come with her family, all in the General Admission section. She may have been crazy, but her teenage boys love U2 as much as she does, and I have to respect that. I'm trying to raise up Benji like that too . . . hey--it worked for me and Air Supply, right?
Anyway, The Fray (opening act) came out and played a few songs. They sounded pretty good, and I was impressed at the piano playing. I don't know a lot of Fray songs, but I was able to sing along to a few of them. I actually own one of their albums, but I haven't ever listened to it all the way through. Sad, I know.
I ate an overpriced bbq sandwich and Coke ($10), and overpriced t-shirt ($40), and marveled at the structure/space station. I had seen pictures of it, but it was MASSIVE. It took up a full 1/3 of the football field, and it stands over 100 ft high. At the center is a network of retractable screens. It's absolutely ingenious--allowing everyone a good view of the stage.
So after The Fray did their thing, the video screen started scrolling some facts and figures, including the current time in a lot of different cities ("What time is it in the world?"). That went on for probably an hour. My seat was in the middle of the row, and two guys on the left of me were just talking about the numbers and the logistics of the screens and lights, etc. Whatever. At this point, I was kinda sad to not have anyone to talk to. They guys on the left were engrossed in their guy-talk, and my phone wasn't receiving or sending messages very well. Yeah, yeah. Poor me. BTW, it estimated the current occupancy of the stadium as 46, 490. Insanity.
There were two seats vacant to my right, but just a few minutes before the boys came on, two very well-groomed men with styled hair and some fashion sense came and sat in them. I thought it was pretty funny to be wedged between two regular guys in baseball caps and two gay guys in tailored shirts. Either way, I was just hanging out. Eventually one of the gay guys started talking to me, and that was fun. He has seen U2 many times, and he even got to touch Bono's boot once (a "religious experience"). Good times, and super nice guys.
Well, Bono and the boys came onstage at about 9pm. I was screaming and jumping up and down. The closest I have ever been to being that excited about anything was when I received my mission call back in 2000, but there wasn't any jumping then. I was like a little kid on Christmas, or like an 11-year-old girl meeting the Jonas Brothers. Giddy.
Dusk fell fairly quickly, so I had to keep adjusting my camera settings, trying to get good pictures. I took more than 500--I just couldn't stop.
Even now, looking at the pictures, I can't believe I was there. "I am still enchanted by the light you brought to me." Anyway, this is the set list (the songs they played in the concert, with links to the lyrics on U2.com). The song choices were absolutely fantastic.
Even Better Than The Real Thing
I Will Follow
Get On Your Boots
Magnificent
Mysterious Ways
Elevation
Until The End Of The World
All I Want Is You
Stay (Faraway, So Close!)
Beautiful Day
Pride (In The Name Of Love)
Miss Sarajevo
Zooropa
City Of Blinding Lights
Vertigo
I'll Go Crazy / Discotheque
Sunday Bloody Sunday
Scarlet
Walk On
Where The Streets Have No Name
With Or Without You
Moment Of Surrender
I was blown away that they played "All I Want Is You" and "Stay (Faraway, So Close!)"--my #2 and #1 all-time favorite songs (respectively). Of course they played "One" later in the show, but that was expected. "Stay" was actually just Bono and the Edge with a guitar. Incredible. I recorded some of it on a video. It didn't turn out very well, and at the end, you can totally hear me singing. Ugh. But of the other videos I got this audio was the best. The rest were too darn loud (name that movie!).
More pictures:
I got quite a few close-ups of Adam, but not many of the others. This is the best I've got.
There's so much more, but I have got to sleep. Here's the link to/slideshow of my Picasa album. Enjoy.
Anyway, it was so brilliant. They played until about 11:15 p.m., then it took me about an hour to get home. What an amazing night. I wish I had had someone to share it with, and a way to relive it over and over again . . . I guess that's why I'm up so late writing this blog. Must. Sleep.
This picture is terrible, but it was my ticket, and I couldn't get the darn camera to focus. I was too excited to get out the door. Yes, it is dated June 3, 2010, but my friend Bono decided to injure himself last year and postpone the entire North American leg of the tour. Very sad, but . . . time passed and the day finally came. So on Tuesday, I went to work and came home as per usual. Thankfully, Allen took the night off of work so I wouldn't have to worry about the boy. I did my hair, although it was already falling flat before I even left the house, changed into my special shirt (which no one appreciated) and left. I decided to take the public transportation route, which may or may not have been very smart; I didn't think so at the time, but had I tried to fight parking and driving home, I would probably think differently. Anyway, after procuring some Diet Coke, I drove to the 3300 South Trax Station and parked there.
I took a train to the downtown transfer station, which was packed. I waited there for about 20 minutes, and after one train came by with zero room to stuff another person in, I hopped back on the train going the opposite direction. I went one stop to wait there, and I actually got a seat on the next train going to the University. It still took a good 30 minutes for the train to get from downtown to the University, so I arrived at about 7pm.
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| Gallivan Center Transfer Station Downtown |
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| Packed Like Sardines on Trax |
So once I arrived at Rice-Eccles Stadium (a venue which probably hasn't been this busy since the Olympics in 2002), I threw away my perfectly good Diet Coke (only to purchase one smaller at twice the price 100 feet away . . . grrrrrr) and got lucky that the bag checker was an older lady who decided that my camera was okay to go in. I was so glad.
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| Rice-Eccles Stadium at the University of Utah |
Anyway, The Fray (opening act) came out and played a few songs. They sounded pretty good, and I was impressed at the piano playing. I don't know a lot of Fray songs, but I was able to sing along to a few of them. I actually own one of their albums, but I haven't ever listened to it all the way through. Sad, I know.
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| Isaac Slade, lead singer of The Fray |
I ate an overpriced bbq sandwich and Coke ($10), and overpriced t-shirt ($40), and marveled at the structure/space station. I had seen pictures of it, but it was MASSIVE. It took up a full 1/3 of the football field, and it stands over 100 ft high. At the center is a network of retractable screens. It's absolutely ingenious--allowing everyone a good view of the stage.
So after The Fray did their thing, the video screen started scrolling some facts and figures, including the current time in a lot of different cities ("What time is it in the world?"). That went on for probably an hour. My seat was in the middle of the row, and two guys on the left of me were just talking about the numbers and the logistics of the screens and lights, etc. Whatever. At this point, I was kinda sad to not have anyone to talk to. They guys on the left were engrossed in their guy-talk, and my phone wasn't receiving or sending messages very well. Yeah, yeah. Poor me. BTW, it estimated the current occupancy of the stadium as 46, 490. Insanity.
There were two seats vacant to my right, but just a few minutes before the boys came on, two very well-groomed men with styled hair and some fashion sense came and sat in them. I thought it was pretty funny to be wedged between two regular guys in baseball caps and two gay guys in tailored shirts. Either way, I was just hanging out. Eventually one of the gay guys started talking to me, and that was fun. He has seen U2 many times, and he even got to touch Bono's boot once (a "religious experience"). Good times, and super nice guys.
Well, Bono and the boys came onstage at about 9pm. I was screaming and jumping up and down. The closest I have ever been to being that excited about anything was when I received my mission call back in 2000, but there wasn't any jumping then. I was like a little kid on Christmas, or like an 11-year-old girl meeting the Jonas Brothers. Giddy.
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| The Edge on the Big Screen |
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| It was so cool how the color schemes kept changing. |
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| I love the effects of the smoke machines and spotlights. |
Even now, looking at the pictures, I can't believe I was there. "I am still enchanted by the light you brought to me." Anyway, this is the set list (the songs they played in the concert, with links to the lyrics on U2.com). The song choices were absolutely fantastic.
Even Better Than The Real Thing
I Will Follow
Get On Your Boots
Magnificent
Mysterious Ways
Elevation
Until The End Of The World
All I Want Is You
Stay (Faraway, So Close!)
Beautiful Day
Pride (In The Name Of Love)
Miss Sarajevo
Zooropa
City Of Blinding Lights
Vertigo
I'll Go Crazy / Discotheque
Sunday Bloody Sunday
Scarlet
Walk On
Encore
OneWhere The Streets Have No Name
Encore 2
Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill MeWith Or Without You
Moment Of Surrender
I was blown away that they played "All I Want Is You" and "Stay (Faraway, So Close!)"--my #2 and #1 all-time favorite songs (respectively). Of course they played "One" later in the show, but that was expected. "Stay" was actually just Bono and the Edge with a guitar. Incredible. I recorded some of it on a video. It didn't turn out very well, and at the end, you can totally hear me singing. Ugh. But of the other videos I got this audio was the best. The rest were too darn loud (name that movie!).
More pictures:
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| City of Blinding Lights, with the screen fully extended |
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| Bono being dramatic during "Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me" |
I got quite a few close-ups of Adam, but not many of the others. This is the best I've got.
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| Adam, rocking the bass |
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| Bono, working the crowd |
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| The Edge making The Rounds |
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| Larry, Going Crazy on the Bongos |
There's so much more, but I have got to sleep. Here's the link to/slideshow of my Picasa album. Enjoy.
Anyway, it was so brilliant. They played until about 11:15 p.m., then it took me about an hour to get home. What an amazing night. I wish I had had someone to share it with, and a way to relive it over and over again . . . I guess that's why I'm up so late writing this blog. Must. Sleep.
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