That's Just Who I Am This Week

There's a reason why I haven't written in a while. I have started writing in a notebook, just for me. It's stuff that I don't particularly want to put on the internet, and it has taken up most of my writing ability this week. I'm finally understanding why Sarah is such a faithful journal-writer. It is very helpful to 'download,' or just get all your feelings out on paper. This week was our four-year wedding anniversary. I can't believe it has been that long, but it also seems like it has been forever. I think we both forgot about it for the most part, being so busy with work and stuff. I even forgot to put it on my calendar . . . until the day before. I had hoped Allen would surprise me with something, so I didn't mention anything until about 10pm, when it became pretty clear he had forgotten. When I asked him if he knew what the day was and why I might be annoyed. Then he realized what happened. He didn't have any excuses, and I didn't want any. I just wondered why nothing really means anything to us anymore, like holidays. We don't really do anything special unless it's with my family; we're just trying to get through every day. We are in 'survival mode,' and we have been for some time. It's very wearing on me, and on our relationship. I know a lot of couples go through rough spots. And I know I should be less selfish and more forgiving. Life certainly isn't very easy right now, so I hope you all will forgive me for not keeping up the blog. I think I'm going to make my blog private again . . . it's just that I'm not very comfortable putting so much personal stuff out there for anyone to read. I know it can be a pain, but most of those who actually read this login to blogger anyway. So if you'd like an invitation to read my blog, please shoot me an e-mail. I'll change it over at the beginning of September so you can know what to expect. Thanks for being my friends, anyway. I love you all!

Hit Me With Your Best Shot

Grandmother was in Logan for just a few days, but I had to work all week, and I was on-call all day Saturday. When I'm on call, I can't be more than 30 minutes away, or I get in Trouble (with a capital "T"). So we went to Logan on Friday, and Allen & I drove separately so I could go back Saturday night. We hung out in the front yard, ate some yummy Sam's Club pizza, and went to the Cache County Fair. Here are some pictures. This is another Picnik edit. I love this little picture! (Thanks for cleaning the window, Lex, or this wouldn't have turned out at all!) And Peggy--this one's for you.

Look At Me

I just discovered a REALLY cool photo editing site (much better than Picasa). I think I may have to upgrade to premium, but look what I did with the free stuff! Cool, right? I know! It's called Picnik. Very good stuff, and there will be more to come. :o)

This Is What It Sounds Like

I have been quite remiss in writing. Ever since my old camera bit the bullet, I just haven't felt really inspired. Yes, I do have the new camera, but I haven't had a lot of time to get to know it. Here are some of the new pictures; they should get better with time. This is the first shot with the new camera (Allen took it; I was at work). This was one of the first ones that I took. Not bad. Here are some random pictures from Pioneer Day weekend. Lily is a great subject for photos, although most of the time she moves too fast! Lily really should be paid for this product endorsement. Mia is so cute! Even though she can be a bit dramatic, she is such a sweetheart! So dainty! The many moods of Tessa-rooney . . . Gotta love the arm-rest. Here are some other random pictures from Pioneer Day weekend. Dad, looking suspicious as usual. Noah with Dave and the Phoebe-meister on Rebecca's shoulder Cute Granny and cute Mom! My fabulous friend Caroline, who is visiting from France, and who went to the Oquirrh Mountain Temple Open House and celebrated our 4-fer-birthday-bash with us. Sarah's glamour shot and our bracelets. And our sweet Phoebe. I love this tiny girl and her amazing family. On a total side note--have you ever seen Bowfinger? I just finished watching it on tv. It's hilarious! Seriously. I really need to finish this and go to bed. I'll try to blog more often so I don't have to play catch-up like this. Thanks for reading! :o)

Everybody's Working For The Weekend

It has been quite some time since I have posted, I know. I didn't feel inspired for some of that time, and my laptop has been out-of-commission for a few days, but I do feel the need to write now. I'm currently at work, but I'll probably finish this post when I get home. So here's what I have been up to. First of all, WORK. I will have worked around 75 hours this pay period, which is very good for me (I'm budgeted for 72 hours, or 36 hours per week). And it has been busy--trauma season is in full swing, and I am exhausted by the time I get home. Even as I write this, I'm about ready to fall asleep! I just finished a long and exceptionally bloody case, where it was just me and the surgeon (i.e., no residents or medical students), so I was first-assisting and trying to keep all my instruments organized and attempting to load suture with one hand, etc. It's tough! It's mentally and physically draining, and when you see so much blood, you have to think about what will happen to the patient. That can be scary, especially when the outcome is unclear. ______ Update: I'm at home now. I spent the evening doing I&D's in O.R. 19. UGLY. The last one was Necrotizing Fasciitis. Seriously--some things are worse than dying. She will either lose her arm (above the shoulder) or her life. In her case, I don't think she'll live more than a few days. It is scary. I'm not excited to work tomorrow. I will get paid time-and-a-half, and it's only for 4 hours (total princess shift), but there are a lot of ugly cases on the schedule. I have a bad feeling I'll be stuck in Dr. Hillyard's room the whole time. I like Dr. Hillyard, but his O.R. is not my favorite place to be. So . . . other than work, church is keeping me very busy. I still have no idea what I'm doing on Sunday, or if I can get someone to cover for me so we can stay in Logan a bit longer. I don't know. We'll see. I need to sleep. I'll write more soon.