09 September 2013

Where You Invest Your Love, You Invest Your Life

I feel like I need to catch up on my crazy life.  Since it's quiet at work right now, we'll see how far I can get.

1.  Benji's school.  

Last February, when we found out that Benji did not receive a scholarship to attend the Carmen B. Pingree Center for Children with Autism next year, we put in his name for a lottery for Spectrum Academy, a charter school. for autistic children.  We didn't hear anything back from them, so we spent months in meetings and evaluations and phone calls trying to get Benji placed within the Granite School District.  We decided on Whittier School, which is a nice, big elementary school with quite a lot of resources.  His teacher is really cute, his entire class would be made up of autistic children, they are piloting a new program this year, his classroom is directly across the hall from the school nurses (yes, plural!  And actual RNs, not just an LPN), and they would bus him to and from school.  We were all set to start school on Wednesday, August 28th.

The Thursday before (August 22nd), Allen and I each received an e-mail:

Congratulations! Your child was selected to attend Spectrum Academy for the 2013-2014 school year.

Student Name & Grade: Benjamin Cox, AM Kindergarten

Please feel free to contact us with any questions you might have.

We have attached some paperwork that we need you to go through and complete. We will also need a copy of your child's immunization record, birth certificate and IEP (if applicable) by Friday, August 21st in order to secure your child's spot for our upcoming school year. Please let us know by phone or email as soon as possible if you would like this spot.

If you would like, you can call and schedule a tour. Please call and schedule it at 801-936-0318 option 1. Your child is invited to attend if you like.

Please let me know if you have any questions.
Wendy Hansard
Office Manager - Elementary
Spectrum Academy

Truthfully, I didn't know what to do.  I felt really good about sending him to Whittier--it seems like a really great school.  Plus it would be super convenient for me, and I don't need more stress in my life.  I called them on Friday to see if we could go check it out, but everyone in the building was out for medical training.  So we went on Monday, 8/26.  It is a nice, small school, and the Kindergartens have 6 kids in them.  SIX.  And once you are in, you don't need to apply for the lottery again.  They said, "He's ours until you take him out."  That's something--to not have to worry about where he will fit in next year, or even after that, because they go all the way through high school.  

Allen was really pushing for us to accept the placement (especially since there were 70 other kids on the waiting list who would have taken his spot if we said no), and although I didn't really feel like it would be better than Whittier, I agreed.  

Benji on his first day of Kindergarten @ Spectrum Academy 

So last Tuesday was his first day of school.  It has been good thus far; it's just the drive.  There is no bussing.  There are carpools, but his class is at a weird time, and I just haven't had time to deal with it yet.  So he needs to be there at 11:45am (having eaten lunch already--the school doesn't even have it's own lunchroom!), and he is picked up at 2:45 (I think . . . Allen takes him home).  It's 18 miles away, about 25-30 minutes of drive time.  It is only 6 miles from Allen's work, so he hangs out there to take him home (unless he's doing is game thing, "hacking portals" and such).  It's growing on me; I think it will be a good place for him eventually.  It takes some getting used to, and the cost of gas is fairly significant.  I feel like we need a commuter car, but money is a bit of a problem right now too.  Ugh.

Anyway--moving on.

2.  Concerts.

On Friday, August 23rd, I went with my concert-buddy Allison to see fun. at Saltair.  Tegan & Sara opened (they are okay; I'm just not that into them).  

Me and Allison @ Saltair
It really was a great concert.  I'm not a huge fan of fun., but they put on a great show.  The energy was awesome, and they sound FANTASTIC live! I think that's the acid-test of a band's talent.  If they can sound as good or better than they do on the album, then they are worth investing time and money into.  We were kind-of stuck in the middle, and people kept pushing past us and walking around us, etc.  Two people, who were totally pushing their way to the front looked back sheepishly and said, "We're being a**holes."  To which I replied: "Pretty much."  Oh well.  It was still lovely.  The weather was PERFECT (at the end of August, it could have been a lot worse), the sunset was incredible, and it was just a delightful night.  

A panorama shot of the crowd and sunset

Here are a couple of other shots.  The iPhone does pretty well!  Not spectacular, but MUCH better than my old one.



A couple of quotes: 

"Salt Lake City?!"  "Just you f****n' wait."  And: "Does anyone here have a cell phone?"  They took some guys phone up on stage with them and took some pictures with it.  Pretty cool.

And the setlist:

Some Nights (Intro)
One Foot
Walking the Dog
All Alone
Why Am I The One
At Least I’m Not As Sad (As I Used To Be)
All The Pretty Girls
It Gets Better
Barlights
Carry On
The Gambler
You Can't Always Get What You Want (Rolling Stones cover)
We Are Young
Take Your Time
  
  Encore:
Some Nights
Stars

Good times.  That really was an excellent concert.

I also got to go to the O.C. Tanner Gift of Music concert with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, the Utah Symphony and James Taylor.  I put my name in for the lottery for that one too, and actually got tickets!  So I met my cute mom at the Conference Center last Saturday.  It was delightful!  And the programs were stunning--the typography, the printing, etc.  Gorgeous.  I took two.



It was also the same weekend as the first annual Salt Lake Comic Con, which was apparently very successful.  I took Trax downtown for the concert, and saw plenty of people dressed up, totally unashamed.  I have decided that Comic Con is like Halloween for adults, where you can dress up as whatever and whomever you want, and the treats are getting to meet stars and take cool pictures.  I'm down with that!  I'm a little sad I didn't make it more of a priority to go, because all of the pictures I have seen are awesome.  I'm sure it will be bigger and better next year, so I'll plan to get my geek on then.  

3.  Friends.

Speaking of Comic Con, my friends Diana and DeLayna went and met some cool people.  They are so funny; I love those girls.  DeLayna will be going to Japan shortly on a work assignment.  I'm so jealous!  How cool would that be?!  Speaking of . . . I need to finish watching season one of Newsroom!  Gah!  No time!

On the Saturday after the concert, my dear friend Jack Jason had a layover in SLC.  Peggy and I met up with him to have breakfast at Lamb's Grill downtown.  It was so lovely to catch up!  I was hoping to meet up with them in New York next month, but alas--I have no money, honey.  Especially after fighting with T-Mobile over an account I was assured was closed.  Grr.

JJD, Me and Peggy! 
We had a bit of a "Gaufre War," (get it?) in which we were to decide who makes the better waffle (see JJD's descriptions and lovely pictures here).  I was a little disappointed in the boys @ Saturday's Waffle, since they now have teenagers running it, so I was in agreement: the Belge wins.  Bruges Waffles is amazing (always get the gaufres liegoises!).  As we were walking down the street back to get his suitcase from his hotel, I totally biffed it.  CHEWING. ASPHALT.  My knees and my ego are still bruised and sore from that rather humiliating experience (um, I'm pretty sure my skirt flipped up over my waist, and there were plenty of people around to witness it!), but it was still worthwhile, and I'll just blame it on my cute-but-dangerous wedges.  These are two of my most favourite people in the world!  I'd do it again in a heartbeat if it meant seeing them!

4.  Family.

My last post may give you a hint as to the drama in the family.  It's kind-of quiet at the moment, but I think we are all walking on eggshells for a little while; at least until Mom & Dad leave.  Did I mention that they received their mission call?  They are going to Peru, and the leave ON THURSDAY.  Yikes!  It's coming waaaay too fast!  I'm excited for them, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to be in the opposite hemisphere!

Mom & Dad came down to SLC last week for their missionary training at the Church Office Building.  I was working while they were here (and they were some of the busiest days I have seen all year--no chance of leaving early!), and Mom had a wee health scare.  She had been short-of-breath, dizzy, nauseated, etc.  She got an appointment to see a cardiologist (not hers, but they still got her in the next day--a minor miracle).  Turns out that she was in atrial fibrillation, or her heart wasn't beating correctly.  She has had problems with the electrical conduction and scar tissue from her ASD repair in 1984 (which, back then, meant open-heart surgery).  When I had my PFO repair in 2004 (a very small version of an ASD), they were able to do it using a small catheter threaded up through the femoral artery.  Thankfully, I haven't had to deal with anything like Mom has, but she is a trouper. 

Anyway, they scheduled her for a TEE and Cardioversion the following morning.  Since Dad was still in meetings all day, we arranged for Allen to come home from work early so he could take Benji to school.  I was able to meet Mom @ IMC (my place of work, conveniently), where everything went swimmingly.  They did the shock to her heart, and they said it looks great now.  She will have a nuclear stress test this Wednesday, but they said she should be okay to fly out on Thursday as planned.  What a blessing!  I thought they would delay her a couple of weeks, but we are pressing forward.  I am so grateful we were able to get this taken care of so quickly and efficiently.  And I'm glad I was able to be at the hospital with her.  

I will be taking Benji up to Logan tomorrow for their 'setting apart,' which is a priesthood blessing given to a member of the church when he or she undertakes a new calling.  I am excited and nervous; these will be difficult holidays without them here.  They will be great, I'm sure.  It will be such an amazing experience for them.  There is nothing like living in another country to help you appreciate the life you have built for yourself.

****

And that's about it for now.  I can't believe I have written this entirely at work--after last week, it's hard to imagine things being as quiet as they have been for the past hour or so!  Please let me know what's going on with you.  Love to all!

27 August 2013

Our Choices Seal Our Fate



Burning Bridges

Do you know why your bridges burn?
Or how this fire began?
Our lives have taken this left turn,
The flames we now must fan.

I love you so, my dearest friend:
In tandem have we grown.
Our sisterhood will never end,
The time has quickly flown.

Your choices separate us now.
Oh, how I wish you'd see
The burden set upon your brow
Cannot be fixed by me.

Some help, so many tried to get;
But fires have burned there, too--
This self-destructive path is set.
It now depends on you.

Where is the 'lowest of the low?'
When does this horror end?
I wish I could soften the blow,
Your soul I would defend.

My lovely girl, you seem so lost:
You don't know who you are.
My heart, it aches to count the cost
Of how it's burned so far.

Please find yourself, O fairest one.
You deserve so much more.
Forgive me now--what's done is done.
I can't even the score.

The hardest love--the toughest kind,
The truth will help you see.
Reality cannot be blind
Nor set our worries free.

This separation hurts us all;
And each of us must grieve.
We do not wish to see you fall--
In this, you must believe.

You need more help than we can give;
It's time for someone new
To understand the way you live
And do what's best for you.

One day, I hope you'll understand
How hard it is to see
A sister's love slip from your hand
And from your life so flee.

When you are ready to return,
With open arms, we'll wait.
We'll build new bridges--n'er to burn.
Our choices seal our fate.

--Mary Nolan Cox
27 August 2013

11 August 2013

Don't Fade Away

This has been a rough week.  Thursday was particularly brutal.  Benji had pooped in his bedroom sometime before I got up, so I had to clean up after him.  He managed to get some behind his bed, so I had to pull it out from the wall to wipe it up.  While I was pushing the bed back into place, I heard a "crunch" in my elbow.  It hurt and was weakened immediately.  I texted McCall (my friend, the ortho PA) to see if she could fit me into her clinic that day.  She couldn't on Thursday, so I made an appointment for Friday.  When Allen came home from work, he convinced me to go to InstaCare.  That was fine: they took some x-rays, gave me a prescription for pain meds and sent me on my way.  I was pretty useless the rest of the day (I called in sick to work), and the Tylenol w/Codeine made me zone out even more.  Truthfully, I just don't like narcotics.  I'd rather feel pain than have my brain be fuzzy like that.

Once the pain pill wore off and I was more coherent, I checked my facebook.  I was shocked to see this:


I didn't really believe it at first.  I knew Aaron and Ann from High School.  Actually, Aaron and I were born on the exact same day.  The three of us had classes together and graduated together, and I absolutely adored her.  This little burden sat in my heart for a couple of days, and I kept checking the obituaries in the Herald Journal because I needed proof (pretty sure I was in denial).  And today, I found this:



So it's true.  My beautiful friend has left this world.  My heart is aching, but I'm grateful that I have next Tuesday off so I can go to the gathering in her honor.  {Pictures are from Aaron's Facebook page}


Ann in Paris

Truth be told, I didn't know either of them very well, but we were friends.  In high school, we had several of the same classes.  I would sit next to her in AP Biology, and we would talk about music and cute boys (though she only ever really had eyes for Aaron).  I actually saw them shortly after I returned from my mission, and shortly after they were married: we were the only three people in the Utah Theater for a screening of "Le fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain."  She deleted her Facebook account for a while, but when she came back, I befriended her immediately.  This was the last conversation we had last May:
  • Conversation started May 3
  • Wilde Annimal
    Dearest Mary,
    I got off fb to work on my dissertation, and because I was offending endless high school friends. Please edit me. I would hate to offend or alienate you. You you one of my favs! Hope you and yours are well! Much love, Ann
  • May 3
  • Mary Nolan Cox
    It takes a lot more than liberal leanings to offend me, so don't even worry about it. Are you done with your dissertation? Should I call you Dr. Ann? I would, because you are that awesome. Love ya!
  • Wilde Annimal
    It will be a year yet. I know 10 years and only a couple of degrees seems useless. I'm writing a biography, and I want my committee and my mom to read it. Impossible. Anyway, I have about 20 friends and they were only people who wouldn't hate me for the "F" word--- even elderly friends in NY. I use it a lot, because I know it makes them chuckle at a Mormon girl using it. Please, just block my posts. I have such a potty mouth. I'm so sorry! You are lovely as always!
  • Mary Nolan Cox
    I work in the OR, where language is routinely of the potty variety. So I'm not offended, damn it! Things got a little ugly last November, but I don't let little things bother me. :0)
  • Wilde Annimal
    Oh, love. How are you healing from November?
  • Mary Nolan Cox
    Just from the election. People got really fired up and mean to each other. I seriously hate election season. But that's how it goes, right? Life goes on. How are you?
  • Wilde Annimal
    I don't like either party...do some work people! I was worried it was personal. Anyway block me I like that word too much! I'm fine. Working on myself. Aways working on myself!
  • Mary Nolan Cox
    You and me both. I can't affiliate either way...I'm pretty sure everybody in Washington is corrupt. So I just try to ignore it. I have enough to worry about! Are you back in Logan?

And that's where it ended.  She never replied, but she and Aaron had moved back to Logan from Ithaca, NY.  I kept meaning to find her and go to lunch; I never dreamed I wouldn't have the chance.

Aaron, Ann & Amanda (another LHS '97 friend) in New York
Even though I don't know her very well, I am very much saddened by her passing.  I went through all of my old pictures, convinced I had one of both of us.  If I did, I can't find it.  I had a few random snapshots of her from our last days at Logan High, but nothing extraordinary.  They certainly didn't capture her light like these pictures do.


Ann was one of those people whom you can never forget.  Even though we hadn't seen each other in years, I still considered her a dear friend.  She was smart, beautiful, uncommonly kind, radiant, and good.  I truly adored her, and I feel so privileged to have known her in this life.

For those of you who are reading my blog, I just want to tell you I love you while I have the chance.  I know that spirits continue to exist after they have departed their mortal bodies, and I know I will see Ann again.  But while we are here in this precious, fleeting world, please know how grateful I am for you.  Even if I haven't seen you for a while, you are cherished.  You are held deep in my heart, and I will love you forever.

Ann, ma chère, thank you for sharing your light with me.  Thank you for making this world a better place.  Thank you for your friendship--you are one of the loveliest people I have ever known.  Until we meet again, darling.

04 August 2013

My Heart Was Flawed, I Knew My Weakness

I can't believe I haven't posted anything since May.  Wow--I'm a struggler!  I have been thinking about various things I'd like to write about, but I have been very busy.  I have submitted my application (and $175 processing fee!) to CASPA (Centralized Application Service for Physician Assistants).  I also did the supplemental application required for the University of Utah.  That was a timed essay application, and apparently my last answer didn't save because the timer ran out before I saved it.  *sigh*  So once I do that (again), and the CASPA people verify my grades against the official transcripts I have sent, my application can be reviewed by the U.  They will then decide if I get an interview, and then--well, we will have to wait and see.

The application required a lot of introspection.  I had to enter and classify every course I took in college (including those in high school, so I had to send an official transcript from USU as well).  And not just every course, including the ones I withdrew from, but all of the grades too.  That was pretty depressing.  I also had to enter my entire job history and try to remember my old supervisors' names, dates, hours worked, job descriptions, etc.  That was a little disheartening too, because I have, uh, been around.  I have been employed by Intermountain Healthcare for 11 years now, but I have worked at six different facilities therein.  Yikes.

And, as if that wasn't enough, I had to get letters of recommendation (which I have waived my right to see).  I had three people write them for me: Dr. Ray Price (a surgeon with whom I have worked for several years), McCall, a PA with whom I work regularly, and Chito, my supervisor.  Ray finished his the day after I e-mailed it to him, but I had to nag McCall and Chito a bit.

And the bit that had me the most  preoccupied: the narrative.  It's the place where you get to stand out, and they want something that will really make them remember you--in 5,000 characters or less.  I went through several versions in my brain, several re-writes, and even on the day I submitted the application I was finishing up the edits (final character count: 4,997!).

I'm not incredibly proud of it, but I did try to be honest and eloquent.  I tried not to over-do the road-trip metaphor, though it would have been better if I had shared my actual European road trip adventure.  I'll probably get another chance to apply next year, so I'll have to keep that in mind.

Anyway, here it is: my heart served up on a platter, for complete strangers to read and judge.  I'm happy to share it with you, especially if you actually still read this blog.  If you do, thank you.

* * * * * * * *

Every life has a few defining moments. Like a cross-country road trip, you start out wandering through side streets and alleyways until you find a road you want to take. Sometimes that road is a slow path; sometimes it's an eight-lane highway. Those moments are the intersections of where you are and where you want to be. Decisions must be made, and the journey must continue one way or the other.

I won't pretend that my journey is particularly special; I have experienced many things common to the human race: school, work, marriage, parenthood, etc.  While these paths are important, they are not what my story is about.  My personal road trip cannot be defined by any long stretch of highway (like the never-ending interstate of parenthood), but my life has been heading in a certain direction; I just didn't realize it until a few months ago.

Let me back up.  The first important intersection I came to was in 1997.  I was granted a scholarship to the University of Utah, as part of the ACCESS program for women in science.  Having chosen that road truly defined my college career and influenced many other choices I have made since. Several of my fellow ACCESS comrades have gone on to become physicians, engineers, teachers, and wonderful stay-at-home mothers.

Once my freshman year was over, I realized that being a science major did not come easily to me.  It seemed that everyone else had moved on, and while I was working hard, I wasn't as successful as I wanted to be. I lost my scholarship, my confidence, and my best friend.  It may not seem significant to anyone else, but my friend dumping me was one of those defining moments. I found out just how fragile my heart was, and how I would have to take this journey alone.

Before I even started college, I had decided to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I knew that doing so would get me closer to my destination, and help me to become the person I wanted to be.  I spent a glorious year (2000-01) in Belgium and France, teaching and serving every day.  I'll be forever grateful for that time of my life because of everything I learned and the beautiful people I met.

Coming home from Europe was much harder than I had anticipated. I went from being so focused on a different work to having very little direction at all.  I lived at home for a while, trying to figure out how to get back on the interstate.  That's when the most defining moment of my life took place: my brother John died unexpectedly.  My younger brother, the smartest person I had ever known, the boy who grew up at my side challenging and inspiring me, was gone.

It might have been shock, or simply trying to be strong, but it was nearly a week after that terrible day when I finally broke down.  All the pain and loneliness came flooding out, and I realized I had a gaping hole in my soul.  Though time has made the heartache more bearable, the emptiness is still there.  I think of my brother often, and he still inspires me.  He is one of the primary reasons why I want to have a career helping people, and why I want to understand the complexities of the human body.

In an effort to heal and move on, I came back to the U in 2003.  I tried to find my place in the world; I even flirted with the idea of changing majors.  English, French, teaching, and even Political Science all sounded good at some point, since those classes were significantly easier for me.  But as an ACCESS girl, I wanted to complete my degree in a science major, and I knew I wanted to work in health care.  I finally completed my Bachelor's in 2007, and I found a second home working in surgery.  For a long time, those two roads (education and work) ran parallel to one another, never really intersecting.  

While working in surgery, I learned what PAs do, how they are educated, and how they interact with doctors.  The idea of becoming a PA appealed to me immediately.  The demands of my family (especially my autistic son), along with the financial burden and time commitment make medical school an impossibility, but I feel like I could be very successful in a PA program.  I have thought about nursing, but I know I would prefer a graduate program that would give me practical skills, knowledge and insight.  I also want a career that will allow me to work in surgery, even if it's just part of the time.

After thinking about applying for several years, I attended the UPAP information session in April 2013.  This was another defining moment.  It felt like I had seen a sign: this is the road I want to take.  I believe that my entire journey--my whole life--has been leading me here to this very application, and I am grateful and excited for this opportunity.

I admit to being a bit anxious; I don't know how I will stand up to the competition, but I truly hope you understand how much I want to become a Physician Assistant.  Thank you for your consideration, and I hope our paths will cross soon.

21 May 2013

Hopeless Wanderer

A little while ago, my sister Sarah did a blog post on the top 20 guys on her "list."    I have been wanting to do one myself, but I have been a little distracted lately {see #1}.  Now that I'm to the point where I'm not going to be staying up until 4am watching this show, I can blog again.  What better way to spend an evening than by putting pictures of hot men of Hollywood on my blog?  {Disclaimer: I do not own any of these pictures.  They were found on Google.}

First off, let me tell you: this is a current list, as of May 2013.  Things change, and there are perennial favourites, but as of today this is where my mind is wandering off to.  Second of all, I find talent extremely attractive.  Sure there are quite a few guys on here with incredible bodies, but I'm much more interested in how they make me feel.  Third, you're welcome.

20.  Dan Stevens {married, two kids, 30yo, 6'}


Dan is most well-known from his role on Downton Abbey, though if you haven't seen him as Edward in Sense & Sensibility (2008), you are missing out.  I don't usually go for the blonde hair, blue-eyed type, but Dan is an exception.  His character Matthew is quite cheesy, but he's so honorable and good and in love with Lady Mary . . . *sigh.*  Downton Abbey won't be the same without him.

19.  Marcus Mumford {Married, 26yo, 6'3"}



Marcus is a new addition to the list; I have been listening to "Babel" by Mumford & Sons {Grammy for album of the year 2012} in my car, and I just love his voice.  He is extremely talented, and married to the gorgeous Carey Mulligan.  Now that's good stuff.

18.  Joseph Gordon-Levitt {single, 32, 5'10"}



JGL is adorable.  I have had a little crush on him since the Third Rock From The Sun days, when he was just a kid.  He's a really good actor, and sometimes the only reason I need to see a movie is because he is in it.  If you haven't seen 500 Days of Summer, you need to.

17.  Chris Hemsworth {married, one child, 29 yo, 6'4"}



I haven't seen much of his acting, except for the Avengers.  He's pretty much the only guy on this list who is there purely for looks.  And, as such, deserves a second picture:



How adorable is that?  Those arms, man . . .

16.  Hugh Jackman {married, 2 kids, 44yo, 6'2"}



Hugh is a great actor {have you seen his transformation in Les Misérables?}, and his singing is a serious bonus.  One of the coolest things about Hugh Jackman is that he is a nice guy.  There are so many jerks in Hollywood, to find someone who is actually friendly is pretty amazing.  I included this picture, because I wanted to show you his wife {of 17 years!}.  She isn't particularly gorgeous, but Hugh absolutely adores her.  Love it.

15.  Henry Cavill {single, 30 yo, 6'1"}



I had no idea who Henry was until I watched The Tudors.  Oh. My. Goodness.  Apparently Stephenie Meyer wanted him for Edward in the Twilight movies, but he was too old.  Too bad; this guy is stunning.  And in a skin-tight Superman outfit?  Yes, please!

14.  Justin Timberlake {married to Jessica Biel, 32 yo, 6'1"}

Justin with Jimmy Fallon
JT is a serious talent, man.  He can sing, he can dance, he can act . . . I chose this picture with Jimmy Fallon {who gets an honourable mention on my list} because they have a serious bromance going on.  JT is a frequent flyer on Late Night, and they are always hilarious.  Have you seen his performance on SNL?  This video is fantastic!!

13.  Aaron Eckhart {single, 45 yo, 6')



I don't know what it is about Aaron, but he does it for me, ya know?  Another great actor.

12.  Robert Downey, Jr. {married for second time, two kids, 48 yo, 5'9"}



Who doesn't love RDJ?  Iron Man 3 was awesome, and I'm very much looking forward to another Avengers.  One of the coolest things about him is his past: he had a lot of trouble with drugs and alcohol, involving prison and rehab, and he has still managed to bounce back and be an amazing actor.  LOVE.

11.  Bradley Cooper {divorced, 38 yo, 6'1"}



Sexiest Man Alive 2011.  That smile . . . and he graduated from Georgetown, and he speaks French.  And he lives with his mom, because he wants to take care of her.  He is my friend Melanie's #1, so I always think of her when I see him.  He was incredible in Silver Linings Playbook, and he has some serious comedic chops.  Good guy.

10.  Matthew McConnaughey {married, 3 kids, 43yo, 6'}



Matthew is just beautiful.  I have had a crush on him ever since Contact {one of my all-time favorite movies}.  Those abs, that smile . . . yum.

9.  Joe Manganiello {36yo, 6'5", dating model Bridget Peters}



Tall.  Dark.  Handsome.  Need I say more?

8.  Matt Bomer  {partner to Simon Halls, 3 kids, 35yo, 5'11"}

Matt Bomer - matt-bomer Photo

So I just realized that numbers 10, 9 and 8 are all men of the "Kings of Tampa" {from Magic Mike, a show whose only redeeming quality is the eye candy}.  In case you were wondering, some of the hottest men are gay.  Lucky boys.

7.  Darren Criss {single, 26yo, 5'8"}



Darren is the only Glee boy to make the list {the rest get honourable mentions}, mostly because he is SO. DANG. TALENTED.  This boy can sing like nobody's business, but he also plays several musical instruments, and he's just dreamy.  Check out this video from the "Guilty Pleasures" episode of Glee {Season 4}.




6.  Colin Firth  {married, 3 kids, 6'2", 52 yo}



This picture is a little cheesy, but isn't this the scene {from Pride and Prejudice, 1995} where everyone falls in love with Colin Firth/Mr. Darcy?  Love.

5.  Tom Chaplin  {married, 34 yo, 6'2"}



As the very talented and charismatic lead singer of Keane, Tom automatically earns a spot on the list.  Plus, I have seen them in concert twice, and all of them are just enchanting.  And when you see and hear someone that amazing up close, it's pretty much a given that he would rank pretty high.  Seriously, he's adorable.  BTW, "Sea Fog" was featured on Grey's Anatomy a few weeks ago, and this is a cool mini-concert I found on YouTube..  Good stuff, I tell you.

4.  Josh Duhamel  {married to Fergie, expecting first child, 40 yo, 6'4"}



He's just so handsome!  I just read that he has a Bachelor's degree in Biology {no wonder I like him!}, and he's fantastic in so many roles.  Delightful.

3.  Armie Hammer {married, 26 yo, 6'5"}



Terrible name, gorgeous man.  His real name is Armand {which is a little stuffy}, but Armie?  Oh well.  I LOVED him as the prince in "Mirror, Mirror" and as the Winklevoss twins in "The Social Network."  He's not incredibly well-known yet, but I think "The Lone Ranger" will be his breakout role.  Mmmm.  More, please.

2.  Patrick Wilson {married, 2 kids, 39 yo, 6'1"}



I have made no secret of my love for Patrick Wilson in the past; I know I have mentioned him a couple of times.  He has been at the top of my list for quite a while, and although he's down to #2, he is still AMAZING.  So talented.  And boy--can he sing!

1.  David Tennant {married, 2 1/2 kids, 42 yo, 6'1"}



Who?  Who indeed.  Doctor Who, that is.  Truthfully, I wouldn't have known him for anything other than his very small role in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire {he plays Barty Crouch, Jr}, but then I started watching Doctor Who.  And I fell in love.  Is it possible to be in love with a fictional character?  Probably not, but when David Tennant was replaced by Matt Smith as the Doctor, I wasn't nearly as interested in it.  I watched them, because I wanted to, but I didn't feel compelled to stay up until 4am like I did with the 10th Doctor.
David is a brilliant actor, and has done a lot of Shakespeare.  He is Scottish by birth, but his accents are impeccable.  And he can say so much with just one look--it's incredible.  My heart just gets totally drawn in by him.
Here are some pictures of the great faces he makes:









Can you tell that I'm a little bit obsessed?  Yeah.  It's probably unhealthy, but I just adore him.

And there you have it:  the list.   There are some honourable mentions:

The boys of Glee.  They are all pretty darn hot.



Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith, as remnants of my high school obsession with Independence Day.  Oh, yeah.



J.J. Abrams and the crew from Star Trek.  Mmmmm.  J.J. isn't particularly sexy, but he is my favourite director.  Into Darkness was incredible.



Speaking of Star Trek Into Darkness, our friend Benedict Cumberbatch is quite delightful too.



Taye Diggs.  Bald never looked so good.



The Oceans Triple-Threat: Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Matt Damon



And last {but certainly not least}: Tom Hiddleston {a.k.a. Loki}.



I could go on all night, but I need to finish.  There's certainly enough eye candy in this post to keep anyone satisfied.  Enjoy, my friends.  Enjoy.