If You Took A Holiday

Just a few pictures from Memorial Day Weekend. I had some problems with white balancing, so the color is off on some of them. Sorry. But I got a few good ones. And, may I say, that Beck was particularly photogenic this weekend? Seriously! It makes me sick! ;o)

There's A Hole In My Soul

Yesterday was pretty rough. Today has been better; maybe it's the time, or maybe that there is some resolution. Apparently, Kim's 18-year-old neighbor entered her house through an unlocked door, with the intent of stealing something. When she confronted him, he hit her with his fist first, then with a baseball bat. And, apparently, he was high on cocaine at the time. None of this will bring her back, and her children will have the image of their murdered mother in their heads for the rest of their lives. There is another hole in my heart. The pain will dull over time, and other people will find new places in my soul, but there will always be an emptiness. This truly makes me grateful for my knowledge of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that Kim's spirit still exists. I know that she will be watching over her kids from the other side of the veil. I know that I will see her again, even if it's not in this life. I miss you, Kimmy. Today I took Benji to get his MRI at Primary Children's Hospital today. It went fairly well. They sedated him, so he had to be NPO for a few hours beforehand. To try to keep his mind off his sippy cup, we went to Temple Square. I took a lot of pictures; see my photography blog for some new flower pics, etc. Here are a couple of good ones of the boy. He woke up really grumpy and very uncoordinated . . . not a good combination. I tried snuggling with him to get him to calm down, but he just ended up pulling out his i.v. Good times. I don't have any results yet; it has to be read and dictated by the radiologist, then sent to our pediatrician. Then she has to call us. Pain in the butt, yes. But that's the way our convoluted medical system works. In any case, here's hoping he sleeps the rest of the night.

It Means So Much To Me

I know that I have become desensitized to death. We hear about it on the news: "Three people died . . . two people were killed . . . etc." We read about it: "200 people dead after earthquake, etc." Those kinds of figures just spill off the lips of reporters like they are nothing, and they are repeated nearly every day. I tend to listen to it, feel bad for a moment, and move on with my life. Not this time. Last night, I was about to write a blog post on my lovely weekend with my family in Logan. I was sitting in the living room with the laptop, and I had the news on. The lead story was a murder investigation. They said that a 33-year-old mother of two from West Valley had been killed in her home. My first thought was, "I wonder how old my friend Kim is now," since I knew she had two kids and lived in the area. Then they showed a house number that looked familiar to me. When they said her name, my heart stopped for a minute. It's my Kimmy. And she's dead. I worked with Kim at Primary Children's for more than two years. I helped her with her math homework. She gave me a ride home sometimes. She was one of those people who you can't help but admire. She was funny, a hard worker, and a great mother. It all seems like a bad dream. Why would someone kill Kim? I just can't comprehend how or why someone could do something so horrible to such a good person. Death is a part of life. Tragedies happen, like when my friend Josie was killed in a bike accident, or when my brother John died unexpectedly. But this . . . has really thrown me for a loop. With John, I truly felt it was his time, and that Heavenly Father was in control. With Josie, it was a hit-and-run accident, and there was someone to point the finger at (the driver was later convicted of negligent homicide, though Josie's family didn't press charges). I think someone was arrested tonight, but until now, there has been no weapon, no sign of forced entry or sexual assault, and nothing was stolen. The thing that really breaks my heart, though, is that her children found her. Every time I think about those poor kids, I want to cry. It makes me want to hold my baby and kiss him a bit longer, because Kim can't hold her babies anymore. Life really isn't fair.

There's No Beginning, There'll Be No End

Sorry it has been a few days since I last graced you with my very important opinions. It's okay to admit that you have missed me. Monday and Tuesday were busy days at work; yesterday I spent recovering and today I have been trying to get organized. Benji tipped over the table again, so we finally changed spots with the ugly bottom half of the old microwave cart. I was hoping to fit all our DVDs in there so we could keep them fairly safe from little teeth and slobber. So I bought like 20 small bins from the dollar store to organize said DVDs, and now they don't all fit. It would be nice if we had a real entertainment center instead of the wire rack. One day, maybe. I'm really tired, but I'm excited for the weekend. I still have to organize my stuff for Primary (including making cookies, since I promised them treats if they still had this month's song memorized . . .) and give it to my wonderful substitute; I have to pack us up, do dishes, fold laundry, shave my legs, etc. Lots to do, but it will be worth it to spend some good family time in Logan.** I got to do a C-section at work the other day; actually, it was a cesarean/hysterectomy. They are always a little scary, because we don't do a lot of them in the O.R. If we do, then there's a good reason for it and there's usually a lot of blood loss. The baby was about 35 weeks gestation (pretty much the same as Lexy) and she was the sixth child for this mother, so it wasn't too sad. Mom was all the way asleep, and baby looked healthy to me; she was already 5 lbs 9 oz. Of course, the NICU friends were standing by, and they took her away as soon as she was out, so I didn't get to see much of her. I love doing C-sections--it is such a miracle to see a baby being born. Today I assisted on a surgery on a 99-year-old. I'm pretty sure she's the oldest patient I have ever operated on. She did fine, too. She had had some pins placed into her shoulder, but she never followed up with her surgeon. Unfortunately, one of the pins slipped and went into her chest cavity, lodging in one of her vertebrae. So here's your lesson, people: follow-up with your doctors. I'm as guilty as the next person of non-compliance, but if you have hardware, stitches, bandages, splints, etc. that need to be removed, please go to your doctor. Okay, I'll step down off my soap-box now. So that's what has been happening in my world lately. I love that I get to help people and learn new things everyday. Sometimes it's at the beginning of a person's life; sometimes it's toward the end. Most of the time, it's somewhere in between, and often it's in a circumstance where that person would die if we didn't operate. It really does make you think. **Update: Allen just did the dishes. Yay. :o)

Nice Day For A White Wedding

These are a few pictures from my friend Ann Marie's wedding reception. It was at the Garden Park Ward (where Allen & I had our engagement pictures done) and it was lovely. They looked so happy, and I am very happy for them. Congratulations, Anna Maria! We did go see "Angels & Demons" on Friday. I really liked it. Most movies based on books I enjoy don't live up to my expectations, but this one actually did. Of course, they changed a few details, and I wish they had followed the book a little more closely toward the end, but in general it was very faithful to the novel--a good thing, because it is one of very few books to which I would give the prestigious M4-totally-awesome-book-I-can't-put-down-5-star-golden-platypus award. Although Dan Brown is an excellent storyteller, there are just some things that need to be visual: Bernini's statues, the churches, St. Peter's square, etc. For what it is, I was very impressed. Ewan McGregor as the Camerlengo was my favorite character in the movie, although he probably should have worked with a linguist a bit more; Italian men usually don't have Scottish accents. I liked what A.O. Scott of the N.Y. Times said about him: "Mr. McGregor has a fine time playing a wide-eyed Irish Obi-Wan with a wee bit of a messiah complex." I don't particularly agree with his review, but I do like to read how other people see things. Even so, if you haven't read the book, I suggest you do so--then you'll want to see the movie. "Lost in Austen" concluded tonight. I liked it, and I'll probably like it more if/when I see it again (Allen in now on the look-out for the DVD). It is a kind of alternate universe for Jane Austen fans, but it is fun. There are some funny moments, like when Mrs. Bennett tells off Lady Catherine, and Mr. Bennett is duly impressed. I think the best is when Amanda asks Darcy to do something for her: And here are Mr. Darcy and Miss Price dancing at Netherfield. She gets totally drunk and knees Mr. Collins where the sun doesn't shine. Good times! Watch it if you can! In other news, Benji took a little step yesterday; I was tempting him with the remote in order to get him to walk. He's so close, and it's so exciting! I love this boy! I have been rather unfair to Allen in the past few posts; I hope you all know how much I love him. He is a very good man, and I'm very lucky to have found him. We don't always get along, mostly when I'm tired and moody, but he is my best friend. I can't tell you how much he has blessed my life. Thanks for your comments on my last entry. I appreciate your votes of confidence, even if I may have a hard time believing them. I love you all!