There
have been a lot of voices, in the blogosphere and otherwise, telling me
that I need to decide who I want to be. I have made "To Do" type
bucket lists before, but I have never made a "To Be" list. I think I
have been avoiding it for a long time, because it requires
self-examination, looking into the deepest parts of your soul to figure
out who you really want to be.
A very wise man once said: “With most people, conversion [spiritual rebirth and accompanying
remission of sins] is a process; and it goes step by step, degree by
degree, level by level, from a lower state to a higher, from grace to
grace, until the time that the individual is wholly turned to the cause
of righteousness. Now, this means that an individual overcomes one sin
today and another sin tomorrow. He perfects his life in one field now,
and in another field later on. And the conversion process goes on until
it is completed, until we become, literally, as the Book of Mormon says,
saints of God instead of natural men” (Bruce R. McConkie, Be Ye Converted, Brigham Young University Speeches of the Year (Feb. 11, 1968), 12).
I
have a very long journey before me, from who I am now toward who I want
to be. I have been taking notes at certain events, many of which are
pointing me in this direction. For example, my mom took all of the
girls to "Time Out For Women," held at the Kent Concert Hall in Logan on
September 16-17th. The theme of this conference is "Choose to
Become." It was really an inspiring event, and I'd like to share them
put them here for future reference.
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| Sarah, Rebecca, Me, Lexy, Mom & Rachael @ El Toro (during the lunch break on Saturday) |
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Friday 9/16/11
Pick
one thing and do it well. I can develop talents I don't know I have.
There's much to be done. What will I be remembered for? Am I a positive
person? Do I believe in a happy ending for myself?
Our Father in Heaven has high expectations. Faith breeds optimism. Choose to become who you want to be. Lay
hold upon every good thing. Faith is the power: pray, think and live
with faith. Matt 7:7-11. Am I given stones when I ask for bread? What
if He wants to give me bread, but I'm not asking for the right thing? I
have to know that it's right. My faith is small, but if I give it all,
it will be enough. Do the thing you think you cannot do. (Eleanor
Roosevelt). What limits have I placed on my life?. Ephesians 3:20. He
thinks exceedingly, abundantly above what I can think.
I
am where I am because of my choices. Hope is wanting what I want, and
faith is wanting what God wants. It is not too late to change. See Cast Not Away Your Confidence (JRH @ BYU 1999).
I am in charge of who I want to be. Do I treasure motherhood? I
have to choose what dreams I need to follow. Will simple little dreams
suffice? We can choose what we do, but we can't control the
consequences.
Alma: be humble, submissive, diligent, ask for what I need. Life is not a
contest. Do I feel the need to compete with everybody else? Do I let
the world define my dreams? It's about MY progress. It's hard to be. I
need to think about my behaviors. Self-talk. "This is one of those
times." "I've done that myself." Think it through ahead of time. Decide
what changes I need to make, decide who I want to be before I'm in the
situation.
What is jealousy? It's not a
contest. We all have different strengths. What does the Lord think is
important? What will really matter in the long run? "You're not in that big
of a hurry." How do I want to feel? Keep my eternal purpose in mind.
Tell myself that something is distressing, not dangerous. Thoughts can
change what happens in my body. It's okay to let my feelings rise. The
images the world creates for me isn't real. If I can remind myself of
the correct vision, it will help me become who I really want to be.
Develop a "mother heart." It's the only thing I can change. There is always something to be grateful for.
Saturday 9/17/11
Esther 4:14. Trusting in the Lord, having patience in Him. God answers
prayers; not always in the way or in the time that I want.
I can give my life to the Lord through service. D&C 84:88. He will go before my face. D&C 54.
There
is power in forgiveness. Be grateful for my life. I am where I am
because Heavenly Father knew I needed my family. Forgive others, that I
may be forgiven. Don't counsel the Lord; He knows much better than I do
what I need.
Hold
fast to the iron rod. Helaman 5:12. 2 Nephi 4:26. Alma 7:11-12. He will
take upon Him the pains, sorrows & infirmities, that He may know how to succor us. If I decide to become something, He will give me the strength to accomplish it. Let the scriptures be my therapist.
Mercy River:
Let in the sunshine. We all need saving. Everything will be okay
eventually, but it's okay to hurt sometimes. It's okay to ask for help.
Mercy River. Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing.
I didn't plan to be a witch. Some ideas to find Holiness in the Havoc.
Take time to be holy. Make a conscious effort to remember the Savior.
Make something ordinary into a holy moment.
Survive tribulations. Everyone has them.
Remember who we are, what we signed up for. Figure out the one thing I want to change.
Remember
who your children really are. Have as five-facet review for your
children: how is each child doing physically, mentally, emotionally,
socially and spiritually? Do things with other women.
Powerofmoms.com,
valuesparenting.com.
Take Jesus with me. I tend to compartmentalize, but the Lord knows
everything that happens, whether I chose to include Him or not. It's
hard to see when you're in the midst of it. Life is a series of
problems. God is more interested in my character than in my comfort.
The key to becoming is learning and knowledge. It is better to pass through sorrow that we may know. Truth
and knowledge after the honey we reach for. Luke 10: story of Mary
& Martha. Martha was cumbered, careful and troubled about many
things. One thing is needful; choose the better part.
Staircase of righteousness and knowledge. Abraham 1:2. D&C 88, 50:24. The soul is like a messy room which needs tidying. If you respond to the light, you get more light. The theme of life is becoming, not arriving.
The Compass Principle. Find truth in its' most mature form. Plant the
fixed foot in the gospel. Use the searching foot, draw a large circle
and find truths. Never compare your best to their worst. Always learn
about other cultures from someone who lives it and loves it. Leave room
for holy envy. Moses on Mt. Nebo: Let it suffice thee. We will not become everything we want to become immediately.
Mercy River: God doesn't love us because we're perfect; He loves us
because He is perfect. He is waiting for us to turn around and come
back to Him. "I Belong to You." "Beautiful For Me"
Blaze your own trail.
B: Bold and Brave. Story of Deborah. Satan tells me I'm not _______ enough. With God, I can do anything.
E: Eternally minded. Set my mind and my heart on the Lord. Satan wants me to be worldly.
C: Creative. We are meant to create. Satan wants me to compare my talents with others.
O: Outward focus. Emmaline Wells. Satan wants me to focus on how busy I am. Think of those whose lives I can bless.
M: Meek. Be humble. Love the Lord, love my neighbor. He will teach me how to love.
E: Enlightened. Educate, organize, mobilize. Follow the Spirit. He will prompt me if I'm worthy and able to hear.
Standforthefamily.org.
U: Unique. My goal is to become strong. My trail will be unique. Mothers without borders. Story of
Caroline Zulu. Her journey was short, but she fulfilled her unique mission.
Discover who I am to become. Do everything I can to go forth and do it.
Mercy River: Love Never Fails. Heaven is real; it is closer than we think. Heavenly Echoes.
Mosiah 5. Retain the name in my heart. God knows what is going on in my
life. Difference between the whole of you and almost all of you. Acts:
Paul's testimony. Almost thou persuadest me to be a Christian. I have to
be fully committed. Would I walk 22 miles every week to go to the
temple? Every stone of the temple preaches a sermon. Holiness means to
be set apart. Is the name of the Lord chiseled upon my heart. Acts 20:
Paul served the Lord with all humility, and kept back nothing. When I
show Him I am altogether committed to Him, He will show me wisdom. 2
Timothy 2. The journey is hard. Trials can turn to testimony. The
moments that require the most sacrifice become the most important. These
moments are when we write the name of the Lord on our hearts. Is there
someone who thinks I'm worth it? Isaiah 49. The Lord will always
remember me. I am Christ's. I am His. He will not forsake me. He has
graven me on the palms of His hands. Isaiah 43: Fear not, for I am with
thee.
This is
a wonderful blog post that Emily wrote. I feel like I have been stuck
"in the middle" for a long time. It's not a bad place, though it is
frustrating and difficult to be in the midst of a journey without a
clear picture of the destination. I think that's where I need to start:
with the end in mind.
