Hopeless Wanderer

A little while ago, my sister Sarah did a blog post on the top 20 guys on her "list."    I have been wanting to do one myself, but I have been a little distracted lately {see #1}.  Now that I'm to the point where I'm not going to be staying up until 4am watching this show, I can blog again.  What better way to spend an evening than by putting pictures of hot men of Hollywood on my blog?  {Disclaimer: I do not own any of these pictures.  They were found on Google.}

First off, let me tell you: this is a current list, as of May 2013.  Things change, and there are perennial favourites, but as of today this is where my mind is wandering off to.  Second of all, I find talent extremely attractive.  Sure there are quite a few guys on here with incredible bodies, but I'm much more interested in how they make me feel.  Third, you're welcome.

20.  Dan Stevens {married, two kids, 30yo, 6'}

Dan is most well-known from his role on Downton Abbey, though if you haven't seen him as Edward in Sense & Sensibility (2008), you are missing out.  I don't usually go for the blonde hair, blue-eyed type, but Dan is an exception.  His character Matthew is quite cheesy, but he's so honorable and good and in love with Lady Mary . . . *sigh.*  Downton Abbey won't be the same without him.

19.  Marcus Mumford {Married, 26yo, 6'3"}



Marcus is a new addition to the list; I have been listening to "Babel" by Mumford & Sons {Grammy for album of the year 2012} in my car, and I just love his voice.  He is extremely talented, and married to the gorgeous Carey Mulligan.  Now that's good stuff.

18.  Joseph Gordon-Levitt {single, 32, 5'10"}



JGL is adorable.  I have had a little crush on him since the Third Rock From The Sun days, when he was just a kid.  He's a really good actor, and sometimes the only reason I need to see a movie is because he is in it.  If you haven't seen 500 Days of Summer, you need to.

17.  Chris Hemsworth {married, one child, 29 yo, 6'4"}



I haven't seen much of his acting, except for the Avengers.  He's pretty much the only guy on this list who is there purely for looks.  And, as such, deserves a second picture:



How adorable is that?  Those arms, man . . .

16.  Hugh Jackman {married, 2 kids, 44yo, 6'2"}



Hugh is a great actor {have you seen his transformation in Les Misérables?}, and his singing is a serious bonus.  One of the coolest things about Hugh Jackman is that he is a nice guy.  There are so many jerks in Hollywood, to find someone who is actually friendly is pretty amazing.  I included this picture, because I wanted to show you his wife {of 17 years!}.  She isn't particularly gorgeous, but Hugh absolutely adores her.  Love it.

15.  Henry Cavill {single, 30 yo, 6'1"}



I had no idea who Henry was until I watched The Tudors.  Oh. My. Goodness.  Apparently Stephenie Meyer wanted him for Edward in the Twilight movies, but he was too old.  Too bad; this guy is stunning.  And in a skin-tight Superman outfit?  Yes, please!

14.  Justin Timberlake {married to Jessica Biel, 32 yo, 6'1"}

Justin with Jimmy Fallon

JT is a serious talent, man.  He can sing, he can dance, he can act . . . I chose this picture with Jimmy Fallon {who gets an honourable mention on my list} because they have a serious bromance going on.  JT is a frequent flyer on Late Night, and they are always hilarious.  Have you seen his performance on SNL?  This video is fantastic!!

13.  Aaron Eckhart {single, 45 yo, 6')



I don't know what it is about Aaron, but he does it for me, ya know?  Another great actor.

12.  Robert Downey, Jr. {married for second time, two kids, 48 yo, 5'9"}



Who doesn't love RDJ?  Iron Man 3 was awesome, and I'm very much looking forward to another Avengers.  One of the coolest things about him is his past: he had a lot of trouble with drugs and alcohol, involving prison and rehab, and he has still managed to bounce back and be an amazing actor.  LOVE.

11.  Bradley Cooper {divorced, 38 yo, 6'1"}



Sexiest Man Alive 2011.  That smile . . . and he graduated from Georgetown, and he speaks French.  And he lives with his mom, because he wants to take care of her.  He is my friend Melanie's #1, so I always think of her when I see him.  He was incredible in Silver Linings Playbook, and he has some serious comedic chops.  Good guy.

10.  Matthew McConnaughey {married, 3 kids, 43yo, 6'}



Matthew is just beautiful.  I have had a crush on him ever since Contact {one of my all-time favorite movies}.  Those abs, that smile . . . yum.

9.  Joe Manganiello {36yo, 6'5", dating model Bridget Peters}



Tall.  Dark.  Handsome.  Need I say more?

8.  Matt Bomer  {partner to Simon Halls, 3 kids, 35yo, 5'11"}



So I just realized that numbers 10, 9 and 8 are all men of the "Kings of Tampa" {from Magic Mike, a show whose only redeeming quality is the eye candy}.  In case you were wondering, some of the hottest men are gay.  Lucky boys.

7.  Darren Criss {single, 26yo, 5'8"}



Darren is the only Glee boy to make the list {the rest get honourable mentions}, mostly because he is SO. DANG. TALENTED.  This boy can sing like nobody's business, but he also plays several musical instruments, and he's just dreamy.  Check out this video from the "Guilty Pleasures" episode of Glee {Season 4}.




6.  Colin Firth  {married, 3 kids, 6'2", 52 yo}



This picture is a little cheesy, but isn't this the scene {from Pride and Prejudice, 1995} where everyone falls in love with Colin Firth/Mr. Darcy?  Love.

5.  Tom Chaplin  {married, 34 yo, 6'2"}



As the very talented and charismatic lead singer of Keane, Tom automatically earns a spot on the list.  Plus, I have seen them in concert twice, and all of them are just enchanting.  And when you see and hear someone that amazing up close, it's pretty much a given that he would rank pretty high.  Seriously, he's adorable.  BTW, "Sea Fog" was featured on Grey's Anatomy a few weeks ago, and this is a cool mini-concert I found on YouTube..  Good stuff, I tell you.

4.  Josh Duhamel  {married to Fergie, expecting first child, 40 yo, 6'4"}



He's just so handsome!  I just read that he has a Bachelor's degree in Biology {no wonder I like him!}, and he's fantastic in so many roles.  Delightful.

3.  Armie Hammer {married, 26 yo, 6'5"}



Terrible name, gorgeous man.  His real name is Armand {which is a little stuffy}, but Armie?  Oh well.  I LOVED him as the prince in "Mirror, Mirror" and as the Winklevoss twins in "The Social Network."  He's not incredibly well-known yet, but I think "The Lone Ranger" will be his breakout role.  Mmmm.  More, please.

2.  Patrick Wilson {married, 2 kids, 39 yo, 6'1"}



I have made no secret of my love for Patrick Wilson in the past; I know I have mentioned him a couple of times.  He has been at the top of my list for quite a while, and although he's down to #2, he is still AMAZING.  So talented.  And boy--can he sing!

1.  David Tennant {married, 2 1/2 kids, 42 yo, 6'1"}



Who?  Who indeed.  Doctor Who, that is.  Truthfully, I wouldn't have known him for anything other than his very small role in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire {he plays Barty Crouch, Jr}, but then I started watching Doctor Who.  And I fell in love.  Is it possible to be in love with a fictional character?  Probably not, but when David Tennant was replaced by Matt Smith as the Doctor, I wasn't nearly as interested in it.  I watched them, because I wanted to, but I didn't feel compelled to stay up until 4am like I did with the 10th Doctor.
David is a brilliant actor, and has done a lot of Shakespeare.  He is Scottish by birth, but his accents are impeccable.  And he can say so much with just one look--it's incredible.  My heart just gets totally drawn in by him.
Here are some pictures of the great faces he makes:









Can you tell that I'm a little bit obsessed?  Yeah.  It's probably unhealthy, but I just adore him.

And there you have it:  the list.   There are some honourable mentions:

The boys of Glee.  They are all pretty darn hot.



Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith, as remnants of my high school obsession with Independence Day.  Oh, yeah.



J.J. Abrams and the crew from Star Trek.  Mmmmm.  J.J. isn't particularly sexy, but he is my favourite director.  Into Darkness was incredible.



Speaking of Star Trek Into Darkness, our friend Benedict Cumberbatch is quite delightful too.



Taye Diggs.  Bald never looked so good.



The Oceans Triple-Threat: Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Matt Damon



And last {but certainly not least}: Tom Hiddleston {a.k.a. Loki}.



I could go on all night, but I need to finish.  There's certainly enough eye candy in this post to keep anyone satisfied.  Enjoy, my friends.  Enjoy.

To Live My Life As It's Meant To Be

A few pretty significant events happened this week.

First: Mom & Dad pushed the button. They have been getting everything ready to serve a mission, and all of the applications and forms are online.  I guess it takes a while to get it all done, and when you are ready, you push the button.  {Back in the 'good ole' days, when I served a mission, you "put in your papers" and received a large white envelope a few weeks later.}  They did it.  So they might be receiving a mission call soon!  I think the white envelope is still the method of delivery, even if the paperwork is outdated.  #feelingold  #ihatehashtags  #prettysurehashtagshavenopoweroutsideoftwitter  #isitreallythathardtousepunctuation?

Mom & Dad in Layton

Second: Dave & Lexy moved to Phoenix.  I know, right!?  When Dave sent out the e-mail a few weeks ago to tell us they were moving, I cried.  Most of the day was spent in tears . . . and it was enough to make me start taking my medications again.  Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them and excited for their new adventures.  I can't wait to see their new home, complete with a swimming pool!

Moving Trucks :o(

Anyway, I drove up to Layton to see them off.  I was going to send Benji to school, but he has a cold and cough {which I so graciously bestowed upon him}.  I'll try to send him to school next week, though they will probably send him home.  This whole situation is driving me batty!  I have had to call in sick and Allen has had to come home early from work more than once to be with him since he can't be in school.  It has been almost two weeks, and there isn't a lot of school year left to be had.  Grrr.  Oh, back to the point--I had Benji with me, and Nanny & Papa drove down to so see them too.  On their way down from Logan, they picked up Pablo {Lexy's mom's boyfriend}, who is driving one of the trucks to Phoenix.  After they finished loading up the trucks, I left.  I didn't want them to see me cry.  It was really sad; we all love the Layton house, and now there will be strangers living in it.  Dave & Lex are planning on coming back, so they are renting out the house, and renting themselves in Phoenix.  Still, it's sad.  I miss them.  A LOT.

Dave, Lexy & Phoebe after the Savior of the World Performance

Also--they bought a minivan.  Yeah, there's a stigma, but they are handy and convenient and much more gas-friendly than the Suburban they have had for a while.  I'd rather not drive a minivan, but my cute car gets such horrible gas mileage that I'm about ready to trade him in.  I really like my car, and for having 98,000 miles he still looks really good; I just hate shelling out so much money at the pump.

Mom & Dad went to SLC after they left Layton, and I met up with them at Rachael's house.  We hung out for a while, but Mach is SO busy with her jobs and her calling and her piano playing--she is accompanying Lily's school program and has to be at rehearsals at least once per week.  It was nice to see her for a little while, but I had to leave to get ready for a LASIK follow-up appointment {still @ 20/20!  It's so lovely!} and an information meeting at the University of Utah I had that evening.

Third: I had a revelation.  Okay, it was not exactly a revelation as much as it was a "lightbulb" moment.

I wasn't expecting it, but the realization just came to me during this information session:

I know what I want to be when I grow up.

I have been thinking about this for a long time, but there were a lot of things going on and I wasn't sure I wanted to commit to anything as big as Graduate School and I feel guilty constantly about not spending enough time with Benji.  Well, during this information session, I had a few realizations.

A)  I'm not a great mom, in fact--I would be a crappy stay-at-home mom.  With Benji being home sick for the past couple of weeks, I realized just how hard it is.  Please don't get me wrong--I love Benji with all my heart--but he is not an easy child.  I get very impatient with him.  For example, getting him to put on his pants takes at least 20 minutes and a thousand reminders and "try-agains" to remind him of what he's doing, and to help him get it right.  After several of these sessions {i.e., every time he goes to the bathroom} and requiring his third shower of the day, I was so frustrated that I spanked him.  I felt so guilty about it and apologized and tried to give him extra loves and cuddles, but it doesn't change the fact that I hit my child.  I hope he has forgotten, but I never will.  Anyway, I realized that I am much more loving and kind to Benji when I don't see him as often.  He is much easier to love in small doses.  My realization was that I'm never going to be a good stay-at-home mom.  I'm just not.

B)  I have wanted to go back to school for a while, but I wasn't sure in what subject.  I like to do a lot of things, but I feel like you need to be passionate about what you study, if you are going to dedicate so much time and effort to it.  The only thing that has kept my attention for a long time is health care, and my education/career is at a crossroads.  I have been here for a while, learning and working, etc., but I haven't moved on.  It has been good, and I'm grateful for the experience, but I see so many people around me moving on with their lives, that I have felt the push too.  Being a surgical tech is great, but I don't want to do it forever.  There are some techs I work with who have literally been scrubbing longer than I have been alive {and I'm no spring chicken!}.  They are excellent at what they do, but most of them are tired and jaded and I don't want to end up like that.   So, the way I see it, I could take one of two paths: the Nursing Route, or the Physician's Assistant {P.A.} route.

As for nursing: I work with nurses every day; I have a great respect for them and I enjoy working with them.  I think I could be a good nurse, if I wanted to go down that road.  Here are the problems with nursing education as I see it: it's either good and {usually} expensive, or mediocre and cheap.  There are several nursing schools around the Salt Lake Valley, and I have friends who have gone to many of them.  The ones that are easy to get into are expensive.  Unbelievably expensive, especially for an associate's degree.  Salt Lake Community College {or SLCC, pronounced "SLICK"} is cheap, but incredibly competitive.  They have a waiting list of more than a year, and one can't even get on the list until all of the prerequisites are complete.  There was a partnership between the company I work for {Intermountain Healthcare} and SLCC, where IHC would pay for 100% of tuition and books in return for working full-time for two years after graduation.  That's an amazing opportunity, but they are dissolving this partnership because there are so many other nursing programs out there and the market is fairly saturated.  Many of my friends who have graduated have had difficulty finding jobs.  That's got to be really frustrating for people who have just spent a small fortune on schooling.  Also, my friends who graduated from the SLCC program do not recommend it to others.  It's not great.  Plus, I know I wouldn't be satisfied with being an RN; I'd want to go on and get a Master's and possibly an N.P., which would mean at least six more years of schooling.  So, this route is full of rocks and hard places.

As for the P.A. route: I have been talking about it for a long time.  Ever since I started working with PAs in surgery, talking to them and realizing what they do, I have had it in the back of my mind that I'd like to do it someday.  I have visited the UPAP {Utah Physican Assistant Program} website several times, and looking at the prerequisites and such, I have thought that it would be easier for me to get into PA school than into nursing school.  For example, most nursing programs require nutrition and statistics to get it.  I never took those classes, but I have taken calculus and Biochemistry {for heaven's sake, I have a Chemistry minor!}.  So what are the University of Utah's requirements?

• Bachelor's Degree, as this is a Master's degree program {I received my BA in Biology in 2007}
• Required Courses: Human Anatomy and Physiology {check and check}, four credits in Biology {one tends to get a few more than that, having a major in Biology} and eight credits in Chemistry {one gets more than that with a Chemistry minor}
• GPA higher than 2.7 {3.15 is nothing to brag about, but it meets the requirement!}
• Healthcare experience > 2000 hours, or about one year full-time {um, I have been working for Intermountain Healthcare for 11 years, plus working at the University Hospital before my mission would easily give me more than 20,000 hours}.

The lightbulb came on when I realized that my whole life has been preparing me for this.  I may not be the best candidate, but I would certainly not be the worst.  I think there's a real possibility of my getting in, and this is something I think I would be good at and enjoy--a rare and precious combination.  It isn't medical school, but it is a medicinal-type of education, and it is probably the best I could hope for at this stage in my life.

I came home and spoke with Allen about it.  I told him I was tired of nagging him to go to school, and that one of us needed to do something to move us beyond this point.  We talked about cost and commitment {and how he'll basically be a single dad for the entire time I am in school, and how he will still be responsible to pay all of the bills since I won't be able to work at the same time}.  He came up with plenty of valid excuses and reasons not to, including that "we'll be taxed to death" once I'm gainfully employed, but--what it comes down to--he will support me if I get in.  And with Benji being Benji, I couldn't do it by myself.  

So that's where we are.  I'm going to start the application process {it's a big one, with exams and essays and multiple rounds of interviews}, in hopes of admission to the program starting in 2014.  And we'll see.  I feel like this is the right direction, and for the first time in a long while, I'm excited for the future.  I hope you'll stick with me on this crazy ride.

You Can't Always Get What You Want

I should be doing my education.  Or reading my book.  Or doing something more productive {like my education modules}, but I'm at work, it's 9:55pm, and we don't have any cases going right now.  Don't worry--I put in my time . . . working with Dr. Hill and Dr. Bishoff in one day {either I'm really unlucky or God is punishing me}.  I think it all balances out in the end; some days are insane and you don't get to sit at all, and others are kinda slow.  We have been relatively busy in the evenings lately, so I don't feel too bad about blogging while at work.

I haven't written much for a while, being busy with work and stuff.  Plus I have been sick for the past few weeks.  I'm getting better, but now Benji and Allen have it.  And Benji probably won't be able to go back to school until next week because of it, so we'll have to figure out babysitting and all of that.  It's such a pain; it makes me wonder if working the 12-hour shifts is worth it.  I really don't want to work five days per week {it would be 3pm-11pm}, but it may have to happen in the fall anyway, because of Benji's school situation {which we still know nothing about}.

I have been to a couple of concerts, though.  I went to see Phillip Phillips with Allison, Cameron and Dawson at UCCU.  It was okay; it seemed like more of a jam session than a concert.  He may be an
American Idol, but he only has one solid hit under his belt {"Home"} and another song playing on the radio {"Gone, Gone, Gone" which I love!}, but only one album.  Now, if you're new on the music scene, and have one album out, you should be expected to play the entire album, right?  He didn't.  He played a few of his songs, a few covers, and there was a lot of instrumental.  That may be fun for the musicians, but it doesn't keep the energy up at a concert.  Sorry!  He saved "Home" for last, and that was great--the energy was awesome.  And his encore was "Thriller" {a Michael Jackson cover . . . because nothing endears you to fans faster than playing other peoples' songs, right?}.  So he ended strong, but that was definitely not the best concert I have been to.  Churchill opened for him, and I actually liked them a lot.  Check out their video for the song "Change."  Good stuff, right there.

Phillip Phillips

I also went to see Train again last week.  The new {underwhelming} Microsoft store was opening at City Creek, and in order to get a crowd for the ribbon cutting, they had to bribe people with tickets to see Train.  Microsoft has been doing this with their other stores, with some pretty big names--Kelly Clarkson, Blake Shelton, etc.  I'm glad they had Train come here.  I got to the store about 8am to wait in line and I was still able to get an orange sparkly wristband {which got me into the "Meet and Greet"}.  I got another wristband, which was destined for Allison, until she found out the concert was at 2pm.  She was free in the evening, but couldn't make it in the afternoon.  Neither could any of the other people I asked, so . . . I went by myself.  Again.  I enjoyed it, because I like the band and I know many of their songs.  I wish I had gotten to the Gallivan Center earlier, to get a spot closer to the stage.  But, as it turned out, there were not a lot of people there.  It was fairly exclusive, so I still got to park underneath {one thing I LOVE about the Gallivan Center as a venue}, and I also got a standing spot on the cement.  None of my pictures turned out very well, and it was raining on and off the whole time.  But I did get funneled through the Microsoft Media Machine to get a picture taken with some random people {not enough time to get one of just me with the band, and personal photography was not allowed}.  I'm not particularly proud of this picture, but it was cool to see them again up close, even if it was for all of 20 seconds.  BTW--Scott the drummer {the blonde guy next to me} is pretty. dang. hot.  And yes, I hugged Pat Monahan.  Woo!

Me and some random people with Train at the Gallivan Center for Microsoft Store opening

As far as concerts go, it was pretty good.  For "Bruises," they had the cutest little 8-year-old girl sing the duet.  She knew all the words, and Pat was so great with her.  It was really nice that there weren't opening acts to sit through, they sounded great and it wasn't too hot.  I usually try to keep a list of songs played with my handy-dandy Evernote app, but I forgot to get it started right away.  I think I got most of the songs, though not necessarily in order.

50 Ways to Say Goodbye

I Got You

Don't Stop Believing {Journey cover}

Walk on the Wild Side {Lou Reed cover}

Meet Virginia

If It's Love

You Can't Always Get What You Want {Rolling Stones cover}/Calling All Angels

Save Me, San Francisco

Mermaid/Could You Be Loved {Bob Marley cover}

Bruises

Marry Me

Everyday People {Sly And The Family Stone cover}

Hey Soul Sister/We Are Young {fun. cover}

Drive By

Encore: Drops of Jupiter

Anyway, I'm glad I went--I really do like Train.  I feel guilty about it, though because my priorities are a little messed up.  I put the concert ahead of the needs of my family . . . sorry, Dave.  I'm a very selfish person.  I'm not proud of it, but it is what it is.

I guess I should have written this post for "Musical Monday."  Oh well. Right now I need to go to sleep so I can go volunteer at the Consignment Sale in the morning, and I need to figure out what I'm going to do with Benji since he's too sick to be in school, and I need to volunteer so I can go to the pre-sale tomorrow evening and buy clothes for said boy.  My life is a weather-worn map of twisting roads paved with good intentions. 

Is This My Life?

I'm struggling.  I want to write.  There is so much I want to do; I have been getting sucked into huge time-wasters like television {The Following and Revolution are so good!} and video games {just one--Monsters Run on the iPad, but I felt the need to beat all of the levels}, and the important stuff {cleaning, blogging, preparing church lessons, etc.} falls to the side.

I also want to be a good mom, but I'm just not.  Here are some actual quotes of things I have said to Benji today {he is out of school for Spring Break, and I didn't have to work today}.

• "Good morning, naked boy."
• "Please don't chew on the toilet seat!"
• "Don't eat the flash drive!"
• "The iPad is not for spinning."
• "Why did you pee in Mommy's bed?"
• "Your shirt does not go on your feet."
• "You don't need another shower--you have had two already."
• "You don't have to touch everything!"
• {After knocking over a whole shelf of hair mousse at Target} "That was totally unnecessary!"
• "Turn around and sit on the toilet like a normal boy!"

Those are just examples.  Today was a hard day; I have been trying to have him dress himself, but he won't pay attention.  He'll be looking around when he's supposed to be putting his legs in his pants, so he puts them on backwards or both legs in the same hole, so we do it over and over again.  He is so sweet and so frustrating and so predictable and so difficult.  He has been pretty good about asking for things, and we have been trying to get him to use complete sentences.  He has "want, please" down; it's the other words that get mixed up.  He used to refer to everything as "Skittles," but now he asks {almost exclusively} for the iPad.  I was trying to get him to ask for banana bread today, and I would have accepted "bread," "snack," etc.  This is our conversation:

Benji:  "Pwease . . . want . . . pwease . . . want."

Me: "I want . . ."

B: "Pwease."

M:  "What do you want?"

B:  "Whaayouwant?"  {repeating what I said, or echolalia}

M:  "I want . . ."

B:  "Want . . . iPad . . . pwease."

M:  "This is not an iPad.  This is banana bread.  Say 'bread.'"

B:  "Bread."

M:  "Good.  Bread.  Now say, 'I want bread please.'"

B:  "Want . . . iPad . . . pwease . . . bread . . . pwease . . . want."

Eventually I would give in when he got close enough.  Just the fact that he is communicating what he wants is huge.  I need to keep that in perspective.

The thing is, I have to remind myself {constantly} of perspective.  I'm always having to step back and remember the basics: I chose this.  I always wanted to be a mother.  He won't always be this needy.  But I also have to balance that with the guilt that doesn't ever really go away.  I should be spending more time with him.  I'm too selfish.  I need to be more patient.  

Actually, today {April 2nd} is Autism Awareness Day.  I didn't do anything for it, just like I didn't do anything for April Fool's Day {yesterday} or for Easter {two days ago}.  And there's more guilt: I want to be a cute mom who makes a big deal about holidays and makes traditions for her family.   I didn't even get Benji a basket.  

I feel like such a slacker, and such a bad mother.  Perspective, I know.  It's hard to keep when you feel like an utter failure all the time.  I'm grateful Benji is so absorbed in his own world, so he doesn't see just how crappy a mother I really am.

I know, God doesn't send you any trials you can't handle . . . He sends children with special needs to strong parents, blah, blah, blah.  I get that.  Perspective.  But sometimes I just want to say "screw it."  Yeah, to stay sane you have to look at the big picture.  But right now, it sucks.  Benji didn't get back into Pingree next year, so he'll have to go back to the public schools, and kindergarten will most likely be a half-day instead of the full-day he is currently getting.  That sucks.  Big time.  I'm probably going to have to change my work schedule to 3-11pm, five days per week.  I can see the next year of my life being sucked away, which really helps with the depression situation. 

Sorry for the venting; I'm just frustrated.  I love my boy.  I love him more than anything or anyone else on earth.  It's just really hard.  There's so much I want to do with my life, but it is all I can do to try to hold on to my sanity while attempting to be a decent parent.  I'm certainly not succeeding at any of it.

*sigh*

Perspective.

Thank You For Being A Friend

Sorry for the absence of late; party planning kinda took over my life for the past month or so.  Then there's the party-recovery period, which is finally coming to an end.  I got really stressed out about all of it {and, admittedly, the past few insanely cold winter months may not have been the best time to stop taking my antidepressants}, but life is slowly getting back to normal.  Fortunately, I have been spending a fair amount of time with Peggy, which is very good for the soul.  If we hadn't been mission companions {living together, spending 24/7 together doing missionary work}, I don't know that we would have been friends.  God moves in mysterious ways, and I'm so glad He put us together.  I have needed Peggy in my life.  Actually, everyone needs a Peggy--just trust me on this.

The Stevenson Family, during our marginally successful photo shoot in September 2012.

Anyway, in honor of her 35th birthday today, I'd like to write 35 reasons why I love Peggy.  Each has a story, but you get what you get {and don't throw a fit}.

1.  She sacrificed her mitten for me.

2.  She makes me laugh harder than anybody else on earth.

3.  She is an enigma {for example: it's okay to have a Nascar welcome mat, but it's tacky to bring in a Maverick cup to the 7-Eleven for a refill}.

4.  She lives life by her own rules.

5.  She makes great faces, like the one she made when the boys at Saturday's Waffle put powdered sugar on her gaufre.  And the even better face she made when she dropped said waffle on the ground while trying to shake off the powdered sugar.

Peggy in her Basque-dancing costume

6.  She has the palate of a 6-year-old.  Sophisticated foods are lost on her, and she doesn't like her foods to touch.  Forget about mixed vegetables.

7.  She has such an outgoing personality that everyone thinks they are her best friend.  I can't claim the sole distinction, and I'll admit that sometimes I get a little jealous of the others.  But--she cannot be contained!

8.  Peggy has grand ideas and she loves to create.  She's always throwing some party or planning some get-together or organizing some meeting.  Next up is another Pinterest party!

9.  She has a lot of things on her plate: being a stay-at-home mom to three kids, being PTA president at the elementary school, teaching the young women in church, dealing with crazy family issues {like a brother who is on the run from the U.S. Marshals}, etc.  Despite all of that and more, she would drop everything to help someone in need.  She has done that for me more than once.

10.  She had the nerve to give birth to her first child on MY birthday.  Now she'll never forget it.

11.  I'm not sure if she was too happy about my visiting her in the hospital, but I insisted on meeting all three of her children on the day they were born.

12.  She named her eldest {my birthday buddy} Jack after our mission friend Jack Jason Davis, whom I also love and adore. "Do you see that Mulberry bush?  Start running."

13.  She spelled Elisabeth correctly {the European way!}.

14.  She copied me by naming her youngest Benjamin.  Okay, that was really Scott's doing, but they still copied me. Plus, I got to meet that little friend before she did, with his being in the NICU for a few hours.

15.  She quotes Coolio and BNL in her lessons and talks.

16.  She is Basque, and very proud of it.  She is passing on traditions and the culture to her children, like dancing.

17.  Peggy is pretty much like a sister to me: she has been included in several of our many {world-famous} long e-mail planning chains.

18.  Peggy hates setting goals, but girlfriend gets a lot of stuff done.  For example:

19.  She decided to run the Ragnar race last year, because she wanted to put a sticker on her minivan.  And she did.

20.  She thinks like a jaded cop.

21.  She is always on my side.

22.  She makes her own soap {and her car smells SO GOOD!}.

23.  She will only eat crêpes with strawberry filling; she won't touch Nutella.

24.  She doesn't pretend to be anything she is not, so if she's going to swear at home, she might as well swear in church.

25.  She is waiting for the ban on coffee to be rescinded from the Word of Wisdom.

26.  She is a convert to the LDS church.  She was pretty much anti-Mormon before she started talking to the missionaries, but she knows what she knows, and she's one of the most faithful people I have ever met.

27.  She has a group of friends/followers whom she lovingly calls "Internet Crazies."  She would be a great cult leader {if she were into that kind of thing}.

28. She can franglais with the best of them: mostly English, a few Frenchie quips and phrases, and a hearty disdain for anyone who mispronounces the word crêpe.

29. She is named "Peggysue" and she grew up on a farm in Idaho. Seriously.

30. She has been quite faithful about keeping her eyebrows groomed ever since she let me pluck them for the first time.

31. She humors me by using some of my unprofessional pictures in her home, birth announcements, etc.

32. We harbor a deep love for Pat Benetar (who may or may not have an apartment in Brussels).

33. I introduced her to my favorite radio station, and she still listens to it.

34. She was "saved" when she ate my chocolate cake.

35. It's cheesy, but it is true: Peggy makes the world a brighter place.

Peggy and Jack @ the Living Traditions Festival in May 2012

There's much more, but I'll stop there.  Peggy is one of my most favorite people in the world, and I'm so blessed to call her my friend.

Merci, ma très chère amie. Je t'aime comme un loup, 

comme un fou, comme l'homme que je ne suis pas.