I Am The Warrior

Work was pretty busy today; why are Tuesdays always so crap-tacular? For some reason, Tuesdays are almost always busier than Fridays. Does that make sense to anyone? Not me, that's for sure. I work every Tuesday, and it gets pretty old. I am at a point in my life where something needs to change. Maybe it's work . . . although it's not like I'll be able to quit (or even go part-time) any time soon. Maybe it's church . . . I'd really rather not feel obligated to be there every week and feel guilty that I haven't done everything expected of me. Maybe it's family . . . I'm feeling the pressure/desire to start trying for #2, but I feel like I'm not being a good enough mother to #1. Maybe it's home . . . it's all I can do to keep up with the laundry and dishes and cleaning up after Mr. Destructo, and I hate that I'm never caught-up. There's just a lot of pressure on me at the moment, and it can be kind-of hard to deal with sometimes. I have started talking to a counselor (a social worker who is covered by my insurance). My doctor said he wouldn't prescribe me any more drugs for the ole' noggin unless I actually did something about the depression. So it is helping me gain some perspective, and look at things from above the waves, where I don't feel like I'm drowning. I'm going to see him again tomorrow, and thankfully my deductible will be met so I don't have to shell out the $75/hour. I hope that all of you who actually read my blog feel like you can talk to me if you need a listening ear, and I hope none of you feel like I should be talking to you instead of an LCSW. Sometimes it's just good to have a third-party opinion as a sounding board, who knows what questions to ask to make you think about things you'd rather not see in yourself. That's what's going on chez moi at the moment. I hope things are a little more calm chez vous.