I Don't Know Which Side I'm On

Quotes from my Facebook wall after the declaration of Barack Obama as the re-elected president:

• Sherri Butler: Yay!
• Melissa Boren:  Ok so canada, mexico, or australia......... mark my words america by the end of this term ur gunna be kicking urselves in the ass!!!!! Women ur still not going to have everything u want, gays we still arent gunna be able to get married In all states, health care is gunna suck ass, and our debt will be higher than ever! That is all I'm done tomorrow is just another day
• Emily McWidener:  Putin will be stoked that Obama has more flexibility now.
  
• George Takei:  Overheard: "And America proves once again, once you go black..."  Oh Myyy...
• Mary Woolf Christensen:  I'm so sick right now!!
• Elizabeth Dunn:  Oh thank you Fate!
• Des Burke:  Yeah!!!!
• Camie Shunn Harper:  Depressing!
• Aaron Williams:  I'm hearing rumors that we can expect an official announcement from the LDS church that we will be allowed to "drink this one off." Can anyone confirm?

That's just a sample.  I have gotten myself so worked up over this election that I honestly feel sick.  Let me back up a little . . . My mom has always been politically active, and my dad has always been fairly quiet, though they are both  Republican.  We had a signed picture of Congressman Jim Hansen in our house in Panguitch growing up.  I'm not sure what my mom did for his campaigns, but I felt like good Mormons were supposed to be Republicans.  I remember asking/accusing our family friend Mary Harris of being a Democrat, like there was something evil about affiliating yourself with such a party. I never thought much about politics in High School (Bill Clinton era), but once I started attending the University of Utah . . . hoooo doggy.  The U is a very liberal school, though it is large enough for quite a lot of diversity.  As a science major, I felt like anyone who was cool or smart or thoughtful had to be a Democrat.  I wanted to feel like part of that, and as a bit of a rebel, I decided I was, too.  For a very brief period, I declared myself as a Political Science major, but once I took some of the classes, I realized how much I hate arguing and finger pointing.  I will admit to voting for Gore in 2000 (in the primaries, before I left on my mission).  Because of this, my mother still calls me a "Raging Democrat." Now that I am in my 30's, I can see both sides.  This infographic is very helpful in the current definition of Democrat and Republican.

 

I find myself on both sides of the political spectrum; I don't think it's wise to be all one way or the other, and neither side is better than the other.  I also think that both the Democratic and Republican parties are corrupt.  Honestly, I don't trust anyone in the Federal government; I think they all have hidden agendas and are in bed with lobbyists and are out of touch with reality.  I cannot, in good conscience, affiliate myself with any political party. I have plenty of friends, many of whom are very intelligent and educated people, who are very Democratic.  I respect them, and their opinions.  They encourage me to question what I believe politically, which I think is a good thing. That being said, I do tend to lean slightly to the right.  My ballot consists of more Republicans than Democrats, but I try to consider each individual and his or her qualifications, and I try to vote accordingly. I will admit to listening to unfortunate amounts of talk radio lately.  I'll blame it on the move, since significant amount of time was spent cleaning the old apartment with the radio on, and since I had to drive Allen's car several times.  Anyway, what they (Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, etc.) said made sense to me.  They were so positive about Romney winning the presidential election, and so very negative about the future of President Obama's "regime."  I voted for Mitt Romney, and he lost.  I was scrubbed in a procurement for most of the evening, so when I found out, it was pretty depressing Well . . . after having been in a pretty dark mood for the past couple of days (and realizing that yes, I do still need to take my antidepressants), I'm starting to get over it.  I'm not entirely sure the voting machines weren't tampered with, I hate the electoral college, and I do think Obama makes a better rockstar than a president.  I am afraid for our country.  I don't think the future is bright, and I'm astounded that more people didn't see through the president's façade.  We saw some of his true colors during the debates and on the campaign trail, when he came across as arrogant and malicious.  Oh, he can turn on the charm and be likable when he wants to.  He can be very inspiring when he's reading from a teleprompter.  But I don't believe he has America's best interests at heart.





I want to like President Obama.  I want to think that America will be in better shape come 2016, but I just can't believe it.  I also think that the truth behind the Bengazi attacks will change this presidency significantly.  Can I go back to ignoring Washington?  I truly thought that a Romney presidency would change things for the better, with him balancing the budget and bringing back the economy and fighting for a stronger United States.  I think the economy is headed for a serious depression, and no "government bailout" will stave it off. And if the U.S. economy tanks, the world's economy will tank, and then things will get really ugly.

My outlook is not bright.  I only see myself working harder, bringing home less, and trying to be self-sufficient when it's getting more and more difficult to pay the bills.  And then I remember how little I see Benji already, how much of his childhood I am missing just trying to be a contributing member of society and to earn enough money to keep this family afloat.  It sucks.  I need to get over it and move on, if not for Benji then for the sake of my own sanity.  In any case, I'm glad the election is over.  The endless arguing and one-upping and finger-pointing drives me batty.

"I don't know, I don't know which side I'm on.
I don't know my right from left or my right from wrong."
--U2