The Way It Was

I'm in an "up" mood tonight.  I post a lot of downers, so this one may be a little off-the-wall.  At least it's happy-ish!

I'm currently in love with this song by The Killers.  I must have hit repeat 10 times on the way home from Dave & Lexy's this morning (post New Year's Eve family party--good times!).





I'm sure you wanted to know, but I'm currently wearing my Killers t-shirt.  I also wore it on Christmas, and my dad was a little dubious as to it's appropriateness.  Yeah, that was a little trashy, but it's a great shirt!  I'm not super-obsessed, but Battle Born is an incredible album, and I'm really enjoying listening to it.

As an aside, I went to see Les Misérables with my friend DeLayna today, and she totally knew that I was listening to Battle Born when I picked her up.  *sigh*  She's a girl after my own heart.  And Les Mis was incredible.  More on that later . . . although I may have to add Eddie Remayne to my list.  He was perfect as Marius.  {Don't worry--Hugh Jackman is already on it!}

Where was I going with this?  Um, I think I was going to write about the year.  Sometimes I can be a little scattered {surprise!}.  Yes, I know that {these} braces are for mathematical sets and not parenthesis, but: a)  they are pretty, b) I like them, and c) you can't do anything about it.  I suppose if I am mocked for using them, I may stop using them inappropriately.  Then again--maybe not.

Okay . . . I need to get to the point.  Here it is: 2012 was a pretty darn good year overall.  We went on a cruise, we went to a family reunion in Yosemite, Benji got into Pingree, we moved into a house, I got to spend time with wonderful mission friends, etc., etc.  There were some pretty low points too {like most of October}, but overall it was a winner winner chicken dinner.  I really don't know if 2013 can keep up.

I know this isn't a competition.  I usually avoid competing at all costs {I'd rather be a loser without having to display my pathetic attempts at whatever is being judged}.  That being said, I do want 2013 to kick some serious boo-tay.  I'm also a pretty poor goal-setter; I'm more of a day-to-day kind of girl, which really is terrible.  It leads to quickly abandoned resolutions and loads of justification in favor of doing what I have to do to get through the current situation.  

Some other bloggers whom I admire tend to choose a word for the year.  One has chosen "Embrace" {sweet and admirable}, and another has chosen "Awesomer" {fun, but I can't choose a word that isn't really a word}.  I have never really felt the need to do that, until my lunch the other day with JJD and Peggy.  It was there that I realized what I want to be in 2013.

In order for this to happen . . . I have decided to change my mindset.  Maybe this will help me achieve more of my "goals," because they aren't really goals; they are things I have always wanted to do.  So instead of feeling guilty about not doing them, I am going to do them because they will help me be

{Have you figured out my word for the year?}

What do I need to do to be fabulous?  There a lot of ways to increase my fQ {Fabulous Quotient}.  I don't have to be incredibly specific, since one's fQ is totally subjective.  If I think it's fabulous, or if I think that's what fabulous people do, I'll do it.  For example:

Fabulous people have clean cars.  If I want to be fabulous, I'm going to keep my car clean.  It's a little thing, but I hate having a messy car, and I usually can't be bothered to clean it out unless someone besides my little dude will be riding in it.  Thus: not a goal, but something I can do that will help me feel better about myself and my crazy life.  The Iron Man would wonder why I don't make it into a SMART goal, by saying that I'll clean out my car once a week.  Why?  If I don't do it every week, I'll feel guilty and if I do it more than once per week, I'll feel the need to reward myself.  It doesn't need to be a goal.  It's something I want to do, and I'll do it when it needs to be done.

Another thing fabulous people do: they make time to exercise.  They take care of themselves because they know they look better and feel better when they do.  I get stuck in a rut of exercising for a little while, then giving up because I'm too busy or too tired, and then I feel bad about myself for not doing it, etc.  It's a very self-defeating cycle to be in, and I'm done. I will exercise when I need to, because it will help me become more fabulous.  I'm not going to say I'll do it everyday {because I know I won't}.  I'm not going to say I'm going to lose 100 lbs this year like my sister Rachael {because it's not about numbers, it's about how I feel}. Mach--more power to you girl.  I mean no offense to people who do have great New Years Resolutions, they just aren't for me.

I am going to try to do at least one fabulous thing every day to increase my fQ.  That may be as simple as putting on makeup, or it may be creating some fantastic home decor; eating a salad instead of pizza or getting a pedicure.  It may be just surviving the day without strangling my husband or yelling at my child.

I want to feel better about myself.  I want to feel like there is good in my life, that there are beautiful things within my reach.  I want to let go of the inner frump and be someone that other people see and think, "Huh.  She's kind-of fabulous."  Is this a worthy goal?  Probably not.  Is it superficial?  Absolutely.  Are there more important things I should be worried about?  Definitely.  But it's something I actually want to do, and it's an unmeasurable state of being, i.e., I won't totally fail like I usually do.  It will help me be confident enough to try for bigger and better things, so I think it is worthwhile.

So there you have it: my New Years Resolution.  It's pretty much the best thing ever.  Seriously.