Man, I need to start my blogging earlier! I've gotta sleep.
I did just want to put in my two cents for the election: T.H.I.O. (Thank Heavens It's Over.) I think it's interesting for a while, but all of the politicking gets so ugly that I can't stand it. I haven't even listened to the radio in the past two months because of all the ads.
I think the most interesting (and obnoxious) race in Utah was for the second congressional district seat. Utah is a very RED state, with both senators, and two of three congressman from the GOP. Salt Lake county tends to be a bit more liberal, which I can appreciate, although I refuse to align myself with any political party. Even so, Congressman Matheson (a democrat) has been a representative for the past 10 years, and he has done fairly well. I like him. His main challenger during this election was Morgan Philpot, a representative in the Utah State House of Representatives. I was intrigued by Philpot at first, because he made it sound like he would bring new energy and ideas, etc., etc. Then his ads started coming out attacking Matheson. And SO MANY SIGNS on roads, overpasses, everywhere saying "Matheson = Pelosi" and "Philpot = Patriots," and "Go Philpot! We the People support you!" The sheer number of signs seriously pissed me off. Even so, I think the Matheson = Pelosi signs were the worst; how can you say that one democratic congressman from Utah is even close to being a Nancy Pelosi? Matheson has not always voted along party lines; I think he actually tries to represent Utahns, because he knows he will not be re-elected if he doesn't. Even so, Philpot's campaign was at least 75% negative, which drives me batty. I only recall one "negative" television ad from Matheson's campaign, pointing out that Philpot missed more than 200 votes as a state representative (just not even showing up for the vote), then moved out-of-state while keeping his title and his state benefits. That was the game-changer for me. If Philpot felt he could get away with that kind of behavior in the State Legislature, how could we possibly trust him when he's on the other side of the country? I'm just glad it's done and the Philpot signs are disappearing (finally). Let's just move on, shall we?
I did like Peter Corroon's concession speech. He ran for Governor, and lost by a considerable margin to the incumbent. But when he gave his speech, he said something to the effect of, "We are all winners. We have elected Governor Herbert, who is a good man, and who spends every minute of the day working for the good of the state of Utah. I give him my whole-hearted support." That was very classy to me. I wish all of the losers could come out with their heads held high like that.
I think I hate it so much because of all the conflict. I hate confrontation and competition, even when it's not me doing the competing. Can't we all just get along? And can we please have a moment's peace before the pundits start zoning in on 2012?
03 November 2010
02 November 2010
Leaves That Are Green
This is my 200th post. I should be more excited, I suppose. Whatever.
"Leaves That Are Green" is one of my favorite Simon & Garfunkel songs. And it is that time of year, so here are some pics I took today. I took the boy to the park and chased him around for an hour and a half trying to get some decent pictures. So here are a few (totally, uncharacteristically unretouched).
I was twenty-one years when I wrote this song
I'm twenty-two now but I won't be for long
Time hurries on
And the leaves that are green turn to brown
And they wither in the wind
Once my heart was filled with the love of a girl
I held her close but she faded in the night
Like a poem I meant to write
And the leaves that are green turn to brown
And they wither in the wind
And they crumble in your hand
I threw a pebble in a brook
And watched the ripple run away
And they never made a sound
And the leaves that are green turn to brown
And they wither in the wind
And they crumble in your hand
I threw a pebble in a brook
And watched the ripple run away
And they never made a sound
And the leaves that are green turn to brown
And they wither in the wind
And they crumble in your hand
Hello, hello, hello, hello
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
That's all there is
And the leaves that are green turn to brown
And they wither in the wind
And they crumble in your hand
He's a sweet boy, even if he is a handful. That's all there is.
"Leaves That Are Green" is one of my favorite Simon & Garfunkel songs. And it is that time of year, so here are some pics I took today. I took the boy to the park and chased him around for an hour and a half trying to get some decent pictures. So here are a few (totally, uncharacteristically unretouched).
I was twenty-one years when I wrote this song
I'm twenty-two now but I won't be for long
Time hurries on
And the leaves that are green turn to brown
And they wither in the wind
 |
| The only way I could get him to be still was to stick him in a tree. |
Once my heart was filled with the love of a girl
I held her close but she faded in the night
Like a poem I meant to write
And the leaves that are green turn to brown
And they wither in the wind
And they crumble in your hand
I threw a pebble in a brook
And watched the ripple run away
And they never made a sound
And the leaves that are green turn to brown
And they wither in the wind
And they crumble in your hand
 | |
| Every time I tried to lead him somewhere, he would pull the limp noodle. Grr. |
I threw a pebble in a brook
And watched the ripple run away
And they never made a sound
And the leaves that are green turn to brown
And they wither in the wind
And they crumble in your hand
Hello, hello, hello, hello
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
That's all there is
And the leaves that are green turn to brown
And they wither in the wind
And they crumble in your hand
He's a sweet boy, even if he is a handful. That's all there is.
01 November 2010
It's All In Your Mind
I think that November is National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo). Maybe that's all in my mind, but I need to be better about blogging, since this is basically my journal. I have one I write in when I'm really pissed off, but no one should ever read that.
Since I'm lacking in inspiration most days, here is a prompt from the NaBloPoMo website:
What toy from your childhood do you still have in your possession?
I have a small bean-bag type doll named Wilbur. I don't think I came up with the name (I'm pretty sure the name is on the little tag). He is extremely dirty, he has a long nose and a sad face and on his belly is written: "I Need Love." For some reason I just can't bring myself to throw him away . . . so he sits on the dresser in my little man's room.
On a totally unrelated topic, I have been really bad about reading my scriptures for, well, for a long time. I have excuses, but none of them are very good or justifiable. The other night I picked them up and flipped through them, hoping for a little message from Heavenly Father. I got it here, in Doctrine and Covenants Section 93. (For those of you who may not know, I believe the Doctrine & Covenants, or D&C, to be modern revelation from the Lord, i.e., scripture.)
42 You have not ataught your children light and truth, according to the commandments; and that wicked one hath power, as yet, over you, and this is the cause of your baffliction.
Yes, there are many things in my house that are not right. It is definitely not in order (read: messy), but there are other things missing from my house too. Most especially among those things out-of-order are my priorities. I haven't been putting the Lord first in my life. I don't do everything for His glory; I'm just trying to get by day to day. I have been in 'survival' mode for so long, I have forgotten what it's like to be engaged in the work of the Lord. I look back at my time as a missionary with extreme fondness, because I knew who I was. I knew what I was doing. And I knew I was exactly where Heavenly Father wanted me to be. I haven't felt that kind of approbation in a very long time, and I miss it. I want it back. But getting there will be tough; it will require work on my part, so I need to summon up the energy from somewhere.
I did manage to get some cleaning done today, trying to literally put my house in order, because I know I feel better and happier when I'm not surrounded by messiness. I know I'll never be one of those great housekeepers, who manage to keep their homes and children and lives organized. Baby steps, I suppose, are the way to do it. ("Baby steps, get on the bus.")
I do need to go bed, but I'll try to post something every day this month. Baby steps, become a real blogger.
Since I'm lacking in inspiration most days, here is a prompt from the NaBloPoMo website:
What toy from your childhood do you still have in your possession?
I have a small bean-bag type doll named Wilbur. I don't think I came up with the name (I'm pretty sure the name is on the little tag). He is extremely dirty, he has a long nose and a sad face and on his belly is written: "I Need Love." For some reason I just can't bring myself to throw him away . . . so he sits on the dresser in my little man's room.
On a totally unrelated topic, I have been really bad about reading my scriptures for, well, for a long time. I have excuses, but none of them are very good or justifiable. The other night I picked them up and flipped through them, hoping for a little message from Heavenly Father. I got it here, in Doctrine and Covenants Section 93. (For those of you who may not know, I believe the Doctrine & Covenants, or D&C, to be modern revelation from the Lord, i.e., scripture.)
42 You have not ataught your children light and truth, according to the commandments; and that wicked one hath power, as yet, over you, and this is the cause of your baffliction.
43 And now a commandment I give unto you—if you will be delivered you shall set in aorder your own house, for there are many things that are not right in your house.
Yes, there are many things in my house that are not right. It is definitely not in order (read: messy), but there are other things missing from my house too. Most especially among those things out-of-order are my priorities. I haven't been putting the Lord first in my life. I don't do everything for His glory; I'm just trying to get by day to day. I have been in 'survival' mode for so long, I have forgotten what it's like to be engaged in the work of the Lord. I look back at my time as a missionary with extreme fondness, because I knew who I was. I knew what I was doing. And I knew I was exactly where Heavenly Father wanted me to be. I haven't felt that kind of approbation in a very long time, and I miss it. I want it back. But getting there will be tough; it will require work on my part, so I need to summon up the energy from somewhere.
I did manage to get some cleaning done today, trying to literally put my house in order, because I know I feel better and happier when I'm not surrounded by messiness. I know I'll never be one of those great housekeepers, who manage to keep their homes and children and lives organized. Baby steps, I suppose, are the way to do it. ("Baby steps, get on the bus.")
I do need to go bed, but I'll try to post something every day this month. Baby steps, become a real blogger.
19 October 2010
He Can't Read My Poker Face
I actually went to a Relief Society meeting tonight. It was a parenting class from a gal who is a counselor, and who works with problem kids (kind-of like SuperNanny, but in shorter intervals and over a longer period of time). The things she said were pretty common-sense; they are just easy to forget. So I'm going to write down my notes here, in an attempt to hold on to a little of it. For example, she talked a lot about positive reinforcement, rewarding behavior you want and calmly ignoring behaviors you don't. One thing that I found very interesting was the "Happy Face or Poker Face." If the child does something right, go out of your way to praise it, and make sure they know that is what you want. If they are defiant, speak calmly (like an easy-listening radio d.j.) and let them know that you will talk to them when they can speak calmly too. Older kids know how to push their parents' buttons, so it's important to show that they can't get to you (i.e., the Poker Face).
Unfortunately, Benji doesn't really get that. It's pretty hard to get him to look you in the face at all. But there are things I can do. I'm going to try the sticker reward thing. I don't know if he'll get that either, but if I can get him to associate good behavior with stickers, that would be good. I may have to start with treatage (I KNOW he gets that!). We'll see if anything changes.
Here are some other things she said:
-Kids will listen, whether or not you think they do. I still hear my Mom's voice in my head sometimes.
-Parents have to change first. They set the tone for the day and for the home in general.
-Reward good behavior. Reinforce what you want; the child has to know what he will get for certain behaviors. Attention is the #1 reinforcer.
-Teach, don't punish. Mistakes happen; show love and concern, and turn them into teaching moments.
She talked about the "Big 3 Parenting Skills." The first is the calm tone. I'm the "boss" of the home, so I need to be the kind of boss I'd like to have (positive, kind, appreciative, etc.). She also tells her parents to shoot for 10:1 ratio of complements to corrections. Yeah, it'll take a while to get there.
The second is Effective Reinforcement. Catch good behavior, and "reward the heck out of it." Use strategic praise: tell them what they are doing right, how I feel about it ("Thank you for sitting quietly! I love it!") and explain why it's important ("Now we can read this story together.") You need to disengage and state what you want. Pair reinforcement with the behavior immediately. Successful change comes from quality relationships. A lot of things that kids might think are "rights" can be earned (t.v. time, etc.). When explaining behaviors and consequences, keep it short and sweet. Remember that attention spans don't really last more than 30 seconds.
The third is Parenting Empowerment. Let kids learn from experience, and follow through with consequences. For example, if a lollipop is a reward for following directions, and the child doesn't obey, but then complains and whines that they want the lollipop, don't give in. Otherwise you are reinforcing the idea that whining will get you what you want. Use discipline, not punishment. Spanking may let the child know that a behavior isn't right, but it also teaches them that it's okay to hit if you're really mad. Hmm.
If a child comes to you with hurt feelings (e.g, "Mommy, Leslie called me stupid"), this is what you can say. First, use an empathy statement: ("I'm sorry that happened to you"), then give an empowerment statement: ("Do you think you're stupid? What could you do about it?"). If they ask for it, then give an advice statement ("If you know it's not true, you should just ignore it.") That gives the child the power to deal with bad situations, without your having to have a Come-To-Jesus meeting with Leslie's mom.
She kind-of ran out of time at the end, but she told us to remember the 3 R's: Respite (take care of yourself; it's okay to take some time away from your kids), Recreation (Play, and enjoy time together), and Relationship Building.
I'm glad I went. It is nice to have adult conversations at church . . . that doesn't happen very often.
Unfortunately, Benji doesn't really get that. It's pretty hard to get him to look you in the face at all. But there are things I can do. I'm going to try the sticker reward thing. I don't know if he'll get that either, but if I can get him to associate good behavior with stickers, that would be good. I may have to start with treatage (I KNOW he gets that!). We'll see if anything changes.
Here are some other things she said:
-Kids will listen, whether or not you think they do. I still hear my Mom's voice in my head sometimes.
-Parents have to change first. They set the tone for the day and for the home in general.
-Reward good behavior. Reinforce what you want; the child has to know what he will get for certain behaviors. Attention is the #1 reinforcer.
-Teach, don't punish. Mistakes happen; show love and concern, and turn them into teaching moments.
She talked about the "Big 3 Parenting Skills." The first is the calm tone. I'm the "boss" of the home, so I need to be the kind of boss I'd like to have (positive, kind, appreciative, etc.). She also tells her parents to shoot for 10:1 ratio of complements to corrections. Yeah, it'll take a while to get there.
The second is Effective Reinforcement. Catch good behavior, and "reward the heck out of it." Use strategic praise: tell them what they are doing right, how I feel about it ("Thank you for sitting quietly! I love it!") and explain why it's important ("Now we can read this story together.") You need to disengage and state what you want. Pair reinforcement with the behavior immediately. Successful change comes from quality relationships. A lot of things that kids might think are "rights" can be earned (t.v. time, etc.). When explaining behaviors and consequences, keep it short and sweet. Remember that attention spans don't really last more than 30 seconds.
The third is Parenting Empowerment. Let kids learn from experience, and follow through with consequences. For example, if a lollipop is a reward for following directions, and the child doesn't obey, but then complains and whines that they want the lollipop, don't give in. Otherwise you are reinforcing the idea that whining will get you what you want. Use discipline, not punishment. Spanking may let the child know that a behavior isn't right, but it also teaches them that it's okay to hit if you're really mad. Hmm.
If a child comes to you with hurt feelings (e.g, "Mommy, Leslie called me stupid"), this is what you can say. First, use an empathy statement: ("I'm sorry that happened to you"), then give an empowerment statement: ("Do you think you're stupid? What could you do about it?"). If they ask for it, then give an advice statement ("If you know it's not true, you should just ignore it.") That gives the child the power to deal with bad situations, without your having to have a Come-To-Jesus meeting with Leslie's mom.
She kind-of ran out of time at the end, but she told us to remember the 3 R's: Respite (take care of yourself; it's okay to take some time away from your kids), Recreation (Play, and enjoy time together), and Relationship Building.
I'm glad I went. It is nice to have adult conversations at church . . . that doesn't happen very often.
10 October 2010
They Did Not Notice Me
10-10-10. That doesn't happen very often, and I have not written in a few weeks, so I thought I'd mark it somehow.
Unfortunately, I don't have a lot to say right now. I started a rather negative post last week, but halfway through I got very frustrated with my life and left it as a draft. You don't need to hear me go on and on about how much my life sucks, because it's really not that bad; I just lose sight of the goal entirely too often.
One thing about driving Mom's car is that she doesn't have a CD player ("Welcome to the 90's, Mr. Banks!"). Gigi does have one, even if the speakers are blown. So, ever since I have been Gigi again, I have had "No Line On The Horizon" in it. I just listen to it over and over; such a great album. You can read what I wrote about it last year here. Anyway, the song "Moment of Surrender" has been my favorite for a few weeks now. Here are the lyrics:
Moment of Surrender
--U2
I tied myself with wire
To let the horses run free
Playing with the fire
Until the fire played with me
The stone was semi-precious
We were barely conscious
Two souls too smart to be
In the realm of certainty
Even on our wedding day
We set ourselves on fire
Oh God, do not deny her
It's not if I believe in love
But if love believes in me
Oh, believe in me
At the moment of surrender
I folded to my knees
I did not notice the passers-by
And they did not notice me
I've been in every black hole
At the altar of the dark star
My body's now a begging bowl
That's begging to get back, begging to get back
To my heart
To the rhythm of my soul
To the rhythm of my unconsciousness
To the rhythm that yearns
To be released from control
I was punching in the numbers at the ATM machine
I could see in the reflection
A face staring back at me
At the moment of surrender
Of vision over visibility
I did not notice the passers-by
And they did not notice me
I was speeding on the subway
Through the stations of the cross
Every eye looking every other way
Counting down 'til the pain would stop
At the moment of surrender
Of vision of over visibility
I did not notice the passers-by
And they did not notice me
Yes, this song has made me cry on more than one occasion. Actually, I'm crying now just writing about it. That's a good sign that I should stop writing now.
Unfortunately, I don't have a lot to say right now. I started a rather negative post last week, but halfway through I got very frustrated with my life and left it as a draft. You don't need to hear me go on and on about how much my life sucks, because it's really not that bad; I just lose sight of the goal entirely too often.
One thing about driving Mom's car is that she doesn't have a CD player ("Welcome to the 90's, Mr. Banks!"). Gigi does have one, even if the speakers are blown. So, ever since I have been Gigi again, I have had "No Line On The Horizon" in it. I just listen to it over and over; such a great album. You can read what I wrote about it last year here. Anyway, the song "Moment of Surrender" has been my favorite for a few weeks now. Here are the lyrics:
Moment of Surrender
--U2
I tied myself with wire
To let the horses run free
Playing with the fire
Until the fire played with me
The stone was semi-precious
We were barely conscious
Two souls too smart to be
In the realm of certainty
Even on our wedding day
We set ourselves on fire
Oh God, do not deny her
It's not if I believe in love
But if love believes in me
Oh, believe in me
At the moment of surrender
I folded to my knees
I did not notice the passers-by
And they did not notice me
I've been in every black hole
At the altar of the dark star
My body's now a begging bowl
That's begging to get back, begging to get back
To my heart
To the rhythm of my soul
To the rhythm of my unconsciousness
To the rhythm that yearns
To be released from control
I was punching in the numbers at the ATM machine
I could see in the reflection
A face staring back at me
At the moment of surrender
Of vision over visibility
I did not notice the passers-by
And they did not notice me
I was speeding on the subway
Through the stations of the cross
Every eye looking every other way
Counting down 'til the pain would stop
At the moment of surrender
Of vision of over visibility
I did not notice the passers-by
And they did not notice me
Yes, this song has made me cry on more than one occasion. Actually, I'm crying now just writing about it. That's a good sign that I should stop writing now.
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