Just a little rant.
So in my previous post, I mentioned how I have been spending a lot of time in OR 4. THIS IS NOT WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR. One big reason why I work in this freaking huge hospital is for the variety. I like being able to do lots of different surgeries and working with different doctors in different specialties. I like to be versatile and learn new things. But, no. I am in OR 4 almost every day. I have to work full-time, and I really don't want to spend 30+ hours per week in the robot room!
The other thing is, that no one wants to train on it. So I'm stuck in there almost every day because the other scrubs just don't want to do it. Maybe they don't have the opportunity, but I'm pretty sure it's because they refuse. What if I refuse to go in there? What then? I'd get some disciplinary action, I'm sure. But I'm seriously going nuts in there.
It wasn't too bad from 3pm-6pm (Robby was my nurse again), but after I came back from dinner, Steve was my nurse. Things were complicated, and the surgeon had to keep scrubbing in and breaking scrub to go back to the console and scrubbing back in, then having to do a cysto which I had to help with, making me 'dirty,' so I was trying to keep my clean and dirty areas separate, and Steve totally contaminated the table I needed to do my final sutures and dressings and stuff. No, he couldn't contaminate the stuff I didn't need; he had to screw up the one table I would use for sure. Then I had to ask him several times for different things, then we had to get an x-ray, then Pete (the Nurse Practitioner) had to leave, so I was the left to put on the patient's dressings. As I was trying to, the orderlies come in and start trying to take off the drapes and cover up the patient, and then the patient started waking up with her drapes still on, and then I ended up accidently cutting the TLS drain so that only 1 cm of drain was actually outside of the body. By that time, the patient was mostly awake and extubated, so we couldn't very well put her back under to replace the drain. Yes, a few choice words flew at that time.
When we were done, several nurses and techs came in to help us clean up. That's nice, but that also says that a) they didn't have assignments, and b) they didn't want to train. No one does, so that leaves those of us who do know how to do it as the chumps. In OR 4 constantly. Totally screwed.
I'm so over it.
27 March 2012
26 March 2012
I Never Said I Was a Victim of Circumstance
In the past couple of days, I have been doing a lot of thinking. Why am I unhappy? Where do I see my life going? What can I really hope for in this life?
That's some heavy stuff. And the answers aren't necessarily all clear to me right now, but some of the fog has lifted, so to speak. Let's start with the happiness question.
Why am I unhappy? Until recently, I would have (and did) say that it was because I was stuck in a loveless marriage. I said it was because of Allen, how he brings me down, how I feel like I have to do everything to even keep us afloat.
I was writing a blog post about another relationship (which will probably remain unpublished), when I realized that I choose to be unhappy. I made all of the choices that have brought me to this point in my life, and I choose how I react to my circumstances. You'd think I would have figured this out years ago, but I think I needed to make these decisions and realizations for myself.
Another thing that has helped me was a little talk I had with a friend of mine from work. I have been spending a lot of time in OR 4 (the robot room), since I am one of two scrub techs who regularly work afternoon shifts who are trained, and there are usually robotic cases going well into the evening hours. Anyway, it takes a lot of prep and set-up, but once the surgeon is working in the console, there's a lot of sitting around. So Robby was the circulating nurse on Friday, and we started talking. Robby is a really good guy. He was one of the scrub techs who trained me several years ago. He's smart, friendly, easy going. He also graduated from nursing school about a year ago, and he is married with two children and one on the way. I have a lot of respect for him, so I wanted to see if there were any similarities between his marriage and my own.
I asked him if he had certain chores he did at home. He said that he does the laundry and vacuuming, along with some other things. I asked him if he could see what needed to be done and did it (one of my biggest frustrations with Allen is his obliviousness to messes/dishes/laundry/whatever needs to be done). Robby said no; he does laundry because it's Wednesday. I asked him about his motivation to get through school, and he said that his wife definitely had to push and encourage him along the way. That's another big frustration I have with Allen--his seeming lack of motivation to do anything to change our situation. But if a guy like Robby needs nagging and a chore schedule, that means something. That means I'm not the only person who has to deal with this kind of thing. And maybe it means that mens' brains really do work differently from womens'. No matter how much I sulk or withdraw or how frustrated I get, Allen won't understand unless I actually tell him. I haven't said much lately, because I feel like Allen doesn't listen to me. I can ask him to do something, and he'll do it once or twice, but then things go back to the way they were. Of course, if I don't give him the opportunity to listen, he can't.
So it all comes back to me, if I really want to be happy, and what I decide to do with my life and my relationships. In reality, though, it all comes down to Benjamin and what's best for him. However much I may want freedom, I signed up for motherhood. He needs people who love him and who want to take care of him, and it is just too difficult for one person to do alone. He deserves a mother who is going to stick by him, teach him, and love him unconditionally. I have had one foot out the door for a long time, and I need to make a decision: all-in, or all-out.
I need to be all-in. There's a part of me that doesn't want to admit it, but one reason why I have been unhappy is because I have let that part win. That is the animal I have chosen to feed, the place where I have let fantasies rule. This is reality; this is the life I have chosen. And truth be told, it's not that bad.
Where do I see my life going? I'm not too sure. I know what I want, but I have to work to get there. I have made some baby steps, like agreeing (finally) to have one bank account, and giving Allen daily directions and jobs, because that's what he needs to get stuff done. I also told Allen that we are moving into a house this year, because I am just done with this apartment. It's time to move on. So we are making this happen. It will take a lot of work and discipline and a real budget, but it's worth it to me, because now I know I will be staying in this relationship.
What can I really hope for? I don't want to extinguish that tiny flame that wants freedom, but I do know that I can do more of the things I love, see my friends more often, travel, etc. if I know Benjamin is taken care of. Allen may be somewhat anti-social, but I need to have lunches with friends, craft days with the sisters, girls' nights, and the rest of it. He doesn't begrudge it of me; I just tell him what I'm doing, and he usually says, "Okay." He's not controlling, but he's not decisive, either. I'm the one who has to decide the direction in which we are moving. ("The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants.") I'm the one with goals and dreams. Even so, when I tell him what we are doing and give him some direction, he will do a lot of the work.
So that is what I choose with my freedom: to make the decisions of where my family is headed. I get to decide what we do. I get to decide how I react to my husband's idiosyncrasies. I can choose to be happy, in whatever circumstance I may be in. That doesn't mean I won't be frustrated or angry or depressed at times, but it does mean that I know with whom that responsibility lies.
With me.
That's some heavy stuff. And the answers aren't necessarily all clear to me right now, but some of the fog has lifted, so to speak. Let's start with the happiness question.
Why am I unhappy? Until recently, I would have (and did) say that it was because I was stuck in a loveless marriage. I said it was because of Allen, how he brings me down, how I feel like I have to do everything to even keep us afloat.
I was writing a blog post about another relationship (which will probably remain unpublished), when I realized that I choose to be unhappy. I made all of the choices that have brought me to this point in my life, and I choose how I react to my circumstances. You'd think I would have figured this out years ago, but I think I needed to make these decisions and realizations for myself.
Another thing that has helped me was a little talk I had with a friend of mine from work. I have been spending a lot of time in OR 4 (the robot room), since I am one of two scrub techs who regularly work afternoon shifts who are trained, and there are usually robotic cases going well into the evening hours. Anyway, it takes a lot of prep and set-up, but once the surgeon is working in the console, there's a lot of sitting around. So Robby was the circulating nurse on Friday, and we started talking. Robby is a really good guy. He was one of the scrub techs who trained me several years ago. He's smart, friendly, easy going. He also graduated from nursing school about a year ago, and he is married with two children and one on the way. I have a lot of respect for him, so I wanted to see if there were any similarities between his marriage and my own.
I asked him if he had certain chores he did at home. He said that he does the laundry and vacuuming, along with some other things. I asked him if he could see what needed to be done and did it (one of my biggest frustrations with Allen is his obliviousness to messes/dishes/laundry/whatever needs to be done). Robby said no; he does laundry because it's Wednesday. I asked him about his motivation to get through school, and he said that his wife definitely had to push and encourage him along the way. That's another big frustration I have with Allen--his seeming lack of motivation to do anything to change our situation. But if a guy like Robby needs nagging and a chore schedule, that means something. That means I'm not the only person who has to deal with this kind of thing. And maybe it means that mens' brains really do work differently from womens'. No matter how much I sulk or withdraw or how frustrated I get, Allen won't understand unless I actually tell him. I haven't said much lately, because I feel like Allen doesn't listen to me. I can ask him to do something, and he'll do it once or twice, but then things go back to the way they were. Of course, if I don't give him the opportunity to listen, he can't.
So it all comes back to me, if I really want to be happy, and what I decide to do with my life and my relationships. In reality, though, it all comes down to Benjamin and what's best for him. However much I may want freedom, I signed up for motherhood. He needs people who love him and who want to take care of him, and it is just too difficult for one person to do alone. He deserves a mother who is going to stick by him, teach him, and love him unconditionally. I have had one foot out the door for a long time, and I need to make a decision: all-in, or all-out.
I need to be all-in. There's a part of me that doesn't want to admit it, but one reason why I have been unhappy is because I have let that part win. That is the animal I have chosen to feed, the place where I have let fantasies rule. This is reality; this is the life I have chosen. And truth be told, it's not that bad.
Where do I see my life going? I'm not too sure. I know what I want, but I have to work to get there. I have made some baby steps, like agreeing (finally) to have one bank account, and giving Allen daily directions and jobs, because that's what he needs to get stuff done. I also told Allen that we are moving into a house this year, because I am just done with this apartment. It's time to move on. So we are making this happen. It will take a lot of work and discipline and a real budget, but it's worth it to me, because now I know I will be staying in this relationship.
What can I really hope for? I don't want to extinguish that tiny flame that wants freedom, but I do know that I can do more of the things I love, see my friends more often, travel, etc. if I know Benjamin is taken care of. Allen may be somewhat anti-social, but I need to have lunches with friends, craft days with the sisters, girls' nights, and the rest of it. He doesn't begrudge it of me; I just tell him what I'm doing, and he usually says, "Okay." He's not controlling, but he's not decisive, either. I'm the one who has to decide the direction in which we are moving. ("The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants.") I'm the one with goals and dreams. Even so, when I tell him what we are doing and give him some direction, he will do a lot of the work.
So that is what I choose with my freedom: to make the decisions of where my family is headed. I get to decide what we do. I get to decide how I react to my husband's idiosyncrasies. I can choose to be happy, in whatever circumstance I may be in. That doesn't mean I won't be frustrated or angry or depressed at times, but it does mean that I know with whom that responsibility lies.
With me.
21 March 2012
She Carries A World On Her Hips
I wasn't sure about writing about this before, because it wasn't real to me. I'm still not sure that it is real, and I don't know exactly what the future will hold, but here's my news:
Actually, here's my disclaimer: no, I'm not pregnant. When I told Rachael and Dad that I had some news, both of them asked me if I was pregnant right off, so I know that's what people expect. Quite frankly, I have wanted to announce that I was pregnant for some time, but it hasn't happened. We have been half-heartedly trying for about two years, and admittedly it was not so much trying, per se, as it was not preventing. Taking care of Benjamin is so much work that I'm not too sure it would be fair to him to divide our attention so much. I know it would be too much for me right now, because a) I will not work full-time if we have more than one child, and b) we can't afford to live on Allen's income alone. So there are plenty of reasons why it hasn't happened; though I might just need to accept that this family will only have three members.
The news that I was getting to before that tangent, is that Benjamin might be able to attend the Carmen B. Pingree school next year. This school is one of the best resources for autistic children in the state of Utah. It is not easy to get into (though it is considerably easier if you can afford the $20,000/year tuition), but it is definitely worthwhile. A few months ago, we were told of an opening if we could pay the tuition. I felt considerable guilt over not taking it, because we probably could afford it if we scrimped and saved and got friends and family to contribute. I felt very selfish, because I didn't want to have to work two jobs and send almost every penny I earned to the school, no matter how good it was for my child. When Benjamin was first diagnosed (January 2011), they told us about Pingree, and recommended that we talk to our school district. Well, we got on the waiting list for the "publicly funded" positions, and took Benjamin to Granite School District. He has been in preschool for over a year now, and he has made considerable progress. It is amazing to see how far he has come, but I know he has so far to go, if he is to have a "normal," self-sufficient adulthood.
Anyway, last week, I got a phone call from the Pingree school. They told us that there would be a publicly-funded position open for the preschool next year (this coming fall), and they asked if we were still interested. Um, yes! So they sent out some paperwork and scheduled him for an evaluation. I filled out the paperwork the other day (which took me a couple of hours to do . . .), and we went in for his evaluation today. I didn't really know what to expect, but this is what happened.
We arrived shortly before 10am and went into the office. A secretary took the paperwork from me, we briefly met a speech therapist, then we walked to one of the classrooms. We left Benji and the speech therapist there, then I went upstairs to speak with Dr. Yao, one of the Child Psychiatrists. We talked for about an hour, much of which consisted of me trying to rack my brain for when Benji reached certain milestones, what his first words were, when I noticed certain things, how he acted when he was a baby, etc. It was difficult. I don't remember what Benji's first words were, because he babbled for such a long time. He still does, though I can make out actual words here and there (Benji is usually surprised when I do!). I don't remember much of what he was like when he was a baby, because I went back to work full-time six weeks after he was born. I do remember noticing that he was falling behind at about one year old, when he had just barely learned to crawl. The delays got more and more pronounced, and we should have gotten some early intervention (another failure on my part), but I think I was still in denial that he might actually be autistic.
Anyway, we talked a lot about Benjamin, and a little about our family life (which I don't love talking about, since it usually ends up with me in tears). He then took me to meet with Sara, a social worker, and we developed a care plan for Benji. It just has some goals we can work for: a "Life Goal" of being self-sufficient, to go to school, hold a job, have social relationships, and to be as normal as possible. The care plan also has some short-term goals. They are: a) learning and developing communication skills, b) being able to recognize and acknowledge other peers and to develop parallel play, turn taking, and sharing skills, and c) to be able to engage in developmentally appropriate play and to become less rigid or restricted in the ways he plays with objects (which basically means to play with toys in the way they are supposed to used, i.e., rolling cars on their wheels, not turning them upside-down to see how the object spins). All of these goals are to be accomplished by attending the day treatment program 30 hours/week, which includes intensive applied behavior strategies for skill development, with daily and weekly data collection to assess progress.
This could be a huge blessing for us, but I'm still not sure it's will actually happen. During my meeting with Dr. Yao, he looked at one of the forms I filled out. There were a bunch of statements, saying "My child does this," then there were numbers to circle which corresponded with certain aspects of a diagnosis of autism, things like social, physical, and verbal habits, etc. Anyway, Benjamin's number was 81, and Dr. Yao said something about the cut-off being at 73, or something like that. I don't know what that means--if they have a protocol to take kids who only fall within a certain range, or if Benji is more or less severe than his peers . . . I just don't know. It worries me, because it all seems too good to be true. I guess the team will meet together on Monday to discuss a treatment plan, and decide if he gets to attend or not. They gave me a list of other resources, and they said they will contact us, so now we are in a holding pattern. I'm hoping and praying it all comes together, even if I don't deserve such grace.
Because Grace makes beauty out of ugly things.
Actually, here's my disclaimer: no, I'm not pregnant. When I told Rachael and Dad that I had some news, both of them asked me if I was pregnant right off, so I know that's what people expect. Quite frankly, I have wanted to announce that I was pregnant for some time, but it hasn't happened. We have been half-heartedly trying for about two years, and admittedly it was not so much trying, per se, as it was not preventing. Taking care of Benjamin is so much work that I'm not too sure it would be fair to him to divide our attention so much. I know it would be too much for me right now, because a) I will not work full-time if we have more than one child, and b) we can't afford to live on Allen's income alone. So there are plenty of reasons why it hasn't happened; though I might just need to accept that this family will only have three members.
The news that I was getting to before that tangent, is that Benjamin might be able to attend the Carmen B. Pingree school next year. This school is one of the best resources for autistic children in the state of Utah. It is not easy to get into (though it is considerably easier if you can afford the $20,000/year tuition), but it is definitely worthwhile. A few months ago, we were told of an opening if we could pay the tuition. I felt considerable guilt over not taking it, because we probably could afford it if we scrimped and saved and got friends and family to contribute. I felt very selfish, because I didn't want to have to work two jobs and send almost every penny I earned to the school, no matter how good it was for my child. When Benjamin was first diagnosed (January 2011), they told us about Pingree, and recommended that we talk to our school district. Well, we got on the waiting list for the "publicly funded" positions, and took Benjamin to Granite School District. He has been in preschool for over a year now, and he has made considerable progress. It is amazing to see how far he has come, but I know he has so far to go, if he is to have a "normal," self-sufficient adulthood.
Anyway, last week, I got a phone call from the Pingree school. They told us that there would be a publicly-funded position open for the preschool next year (this coming fall), and they asked if we were still interested. Um, yes! So they sent out some paperwork and scheduled him for an evaluation. I filled out the paperwork the other day (which took me a couple of hours to do . . .), and we went in for his evaluation today. I didn't really know what to expect, but this is what happened.
We arrived shortly before 10am and went into the office. A secretary took the paperwork from me, we briefly met a speech therapist, then we walked to one of the classrooms. We left Benji and the speech therapist there, then I went upstairs to speak with Dr. Yao, one of the Child Psychiatrists. We talked for about an hour, much of which consisted of me trying to rack my brain for when Benji reached certain milestones, what his first words were, when I noticed certain things, how he acted when he was a baby, etc. It was difficult. I don't remember what Benji's first words were, because he babbled for such a long time. He still does, though I can make out actual words here and there (Benji is usually surprised when I do!). I don't remember much of what he was like when he was a baby, because I went back to work full-time six weeks after he was born. I do remember noticing that he was falling behind at about one year old, when he had just barely learned to crawl. The delays got more and more pronounced, and we should have gotten some early intervention (another failure on my part), but I think I was still in denial that he might actually be autistic.
Anyway, we talked a lot about Benjamin, and a little about our family life (which I don't love talking about, since it usually ends up with me in tears). He then took me to meet with Sara, a social worker, and we developed a care plan for Benji. It just has some goals we can work for: a "Life Goal" of being self-sufficient, to go to school, hold a job, have social relationships, and to be as normal as possible. The care plan also has some short-term goals. They are: a) learning and developing communication skills, b) being able to recognize and acknowledge other peers and to develop parallel play, turn taking, and sharing skills, and c) to be able to engage in developmentally appropriate play and to become less rigid or restricted in the ways he plays with objects (which basically means to play with toys in the way they are supposed to used, i.e., rolling cars on their wheels, not turning them upside-down to see how the object spins). All of these goals are to be accomplished by attending the day treatment program 30 hours/week, which includes intensive applied behavior strategies for skill development, with daily and weekly data collection to assess progress.
This could be a huge blessing for us, but I'm still not sure it's will actually happen. During my meeting with Dr. Yao, he looked at one of the forms I filled out. There were a bunch of statements, saying "My child does this," then there were numbers to circle which corresponded with certain aspects of a diagnosis of autism, things like social, physical, and verbal habits, etc. Anyway, Benjamin's number was 81, and Dr. Yao said something about the cut-off being at 73, or something like that. I don't know what that means--if they have a protocol to take kids who only fall within a certain range, or if Benji is more or less severe than his peers . . . I just don't know. It worries me, because it all seems too good to be true. I guess the team will meet together on Monday to discuss a treatment plan, and decide if he gets to attend or not. They gave me a list of other resources, and they said they will contact us, so now we are in a holding pattern. I'm hoping and praying it all comes together, even if I don't deserve such grace.
Because Grace makes beauty out of ugly things.
19 March 2012
Can You Feel The Love Tonight?
I'm not ignoring you; I have been sick. My throat started hurting on Thursday, but I didn't think much of it. When I got up on Friday, I felt like death. Seriously. I had to call in sick (which I do very rarely, because I like to save up my PTO and I usually feel better once I get moving). I just couldn't do it. I have spent most of the past couple of days asleep, either on the couch or in bed. The congestion seems to drain a bit better with my head elevated, so I think I may sleep out here again tonight.
I'm feeling somewhat better now. I had to teach in church today, which was okay. I didn't have much voice, but luckily there were people willing to participate so I didn't have to speak the whole time. As soon as I was finished and sat down at the piano to play the closing hymn, my throat started burning. It was nice that I could forget about it during the lesson, but it sure didn't let me forget afterward. Gah.
I have been meaning to write more about the Cruise. I did spend a few hours editing the family photo from Monday, 2/27. I'm still not very satisfied with it; the quality isn't great, and if I had made a few more adjustments (ISO probably would have made a big difference) before I handed over my camera to a complete stranger, it would have been nicer. Grrr! I have such a long way to go before I'm actually satisfied with my indoor photography skills! In any case, here it is.
I had to do some "head swaps" (which I'm not very good at), and some other color adjusting, so don't look too closely. I just couldn't get one of Sabrina looking good; she was in total meltdown mode. And I wasn't a huge fan of my being placed on the front row. That's usually Lexy's place, and I probably should have made the switch, but someone had to hold onto Benji. He was pretty excited watching the glass elevators, so we got a decent smile, even if he isn't looking at the camera. Oh well. That is everyone, and it may be one of the few times we get everybody together (dressed formally, no less!).
Since I'm here, I should probably do a recap of Monday. It was a day "At Sea," so it was pretty low-key after all the drama on Sunday. We started out with the character breakfast.
Tumi made some fun napkin hats for our peeps; I think Zekey was Robin Hood, Allen was Pluto, Seuao was Mickey, Lex was Pocahontas, and Papa was Rapunzel. Mia got a little jealous over that one. I'm not sure what Rebecca was, though I'm pretty sure Lance was Captain Jack.
We got a few good pictures; I had a hard time alternating between flash and no-flash, so a lot of the pictures didn't turn out very well. But between everybody's cameras, I thing we got most everything.
In the bottom right corner is Mickey making a little heart sign for Lily. For some reason, she wasn't to fond of him, and he knelt down and did a little "heart you" sign for her. It was pretty sweet. They all did autographs, too. I'll admit--I never had anyone sign for Benji. He didn't care, and I couldn't be bothered to keep up with it, so I guess we missed out that way (or not).
And Sarah showed up (looking fabulous) just as we were finishing. Well done, Sar. ;o)
Anyway, after breakfast, we took Benji up to the Oceaneer Club. It was an open house, so I got to take some pictures. This is where the boy spent most of the cruise (and he loved it!).
There's a cute little stage where some people and characters come, and there are computers and tv's and a slide and rope ladders and dress ups and places to color and stories and snacks and dancing and all kinds of fun stuff to spin. It's pretty much kid heaven, and the counselors were fantastic. We had to go check on him every so often, to make sure he wasn't stinky and such, but it was totally worth it. Folks, if you have kids, this is why you want to go on a Disney Cruise. Good times for everyone.
I don't remember what we did during the day; I wandered around a bit with Mom, but it was kinda cold on deck, so we didn't do much outside. I did get a cool picture through Mom's window. We saw some dolphins, but I never got a picture of them. Oh well.
Then we went to dinner at Parrot's Cay again. It was nice. Ella is at the stage where she thinks that bunny ears in photos is the funniest thing ever. Brina decided she was "not crying," and Dad decided he would smile only under coercion.
Doesn't that picture of Mia in the upper right corner just scream "Little Renee"? Seriously. That girl cracks me up. We thought she was Mini-Beck for a long time, but she's actually Mini-Renee. Love it.
After dinner, we took Benji back to the club, then we went to the "Golden Mickeys" show. It was pretty good, though I don't remember much about it. I'm pretty sure that's when they did "Can You Feel The Love Tonight," and I just fell in love with those two performers (the ones who were Nala and Simba). They were fantastic. I'd see them around on the boat, and I was totally star-struck. I should have been the one getting autographs! Geez!
Afterward, we went to see the Hypnotist show. That was seriously funny. Poor Lexy really wanted to do it, but she totally tripped on her way up to the stage! Face plant! She thinks everyone thought she was really drunk, but whatever. It was pretty funny. The funniest part was the hand-puppets to "Bohemian Rhapsody." I was dying! There was a little One-Hit Wonders dance party after that, and I rocked at it. I knew most of them, but I didn't volunteer for many. There was a "reward shot" for anyone who got the artist and the song correct. When I got up there and told him I didn't want the shot, he gave me a non-alcoholic one. Of course, the family didn't know it was virgin, so when I downed it, they were pretty shocked! I wish I had seen their faces! It took me a while to convince them that it was indeed fruit punch. I guess I'm not very trustworthy, eh?
So that was it for Monday. Busy, relaxing, formal, fun. It was a good time.
I've gotta sleep. You see, this is why I'm having a hard time blogging this thing! I'm up way too late, and I have to work! You're welcome! ;o)
I'm feeling somewhat better now. I had to teach in church today, which was okay. I didn't have much voice, but luckily there were people willing to participate so I didn't have to speak the whole time. As soon as I was finished and sat down at the piano to play the closing hymn, my throat started burning. It was nice that I could forget about it during the lesson, but it sure didn't let me forget afterward. Gah.
I have been meaning to write more about the Cruise. I did spend a few hours editing the family photo from Monday, 2/27. I'm still not very satisfied with it; the quality isn't great, and if I had made a few more adjustments (ISO probably would have made a big difference) before I handed over my camera to a complete stranger, it would have been nicer. Grrr! I have such a long way to go before I'm actually satisfied with my indoor photography skills! In any case, here it is.
I had to do some "head swaps" (which I'm not very good at), and some other color adjusting, so don't look too closely. I just couldn't get one of Sabrina looking good; she was in total meltdown mode. And I wasn't a huge fan of my being placed on the front row. That's usually Lexy's place, and I probably should have made the switch, but someone had to hold onto Benji. He was pretty excited watching the glass elevators, so we got a decent smile, even if he isn't looking at the camera. Oh well. That is everyone, and it may be one of the few times we get everybody together (dressed formally, no less!).
Since I'm here, I should probably do a recap of Monday. It was a day "At Sea," so it was pretty low-key after all the drama on Sunday. We started out with the character breakfast.
Tumi made some fun napkin hats for our peeps; I think Zekey was Robin Hood, Allen was Pluto, Seuao was Mickey, Lex was Pocahontas, and Papa was Rapunzel. Mia got a little jealous over that one. I'm not sure what Rebecca was, though I'm pretty sure Lance was Captain Jack.
We got a few good pictures; I had a hard time alternating between flash and no-flash, so a lot of the pictures didn't turn out very well. But between everybody's cameras, I thing we got most everything.
In the bottom right corner is Mickey making a little heart sign for Lily. For some reason, she wasn't to fond of him, and he knelt down and did a little "heart you" sign for her. It was pretty sweet. They all did autographs, too. I'll admit--I never had anyone sign for Benji. He didn't care, and I couldn't be bothered to keep up with it, so I guess we missed out that way (or not).
And Sarah showed up (looking fabulous) just as we were finishing. Well done, Sar. ;o)
Anyway, after breakfast, we took Benji up to the Oceaneer Club. It was an open house, so I got to take some pictures. This is where the boy spent most of the cruise (and he loved it!).
There's a cute little stage where some people and characters come, and there are computers and tv's and a slide and rope ladders and dress ups and places to color and stories and snacks and dancing and all kinds of fun stuff to spin. It's pretty much kid heaven, and the counselors were fantastic. We had to go check on him every so often, to make sure he wasn't stinky and such, but it was totally worth it. Folks, if you have kids, this is why you want to go on a Disney Cruise. Good times for everyone.
I don't remember what we did during the day; I wandered around a bit with Mom, but it was kinda cold on deck, so we didn't do much outside. I did get a cool picture through Mom's window. We saw some dolphins, but I never got a picture of them. Oh well.
Then it was time to get ready for dinner and pictures. You saw the end result at the beginning of this what-was-supposed-to-be-a-short-blog-post, but here's a few pics of the preliminaries. It takes a lot of work to get that many people together! Mach and Wow got their picture taken with the Captain, but I cropped him out. He didn't look too happy, so I didn't feel too bad about it.
Then we went to dinner at Parrot's Cay again. It was nice. Ella is at the stage where she thinks that bunny ears in photos is the funniest thing ever. Brina decided she was "not crying," and Dad decided he would smile only under coercion.
Doesn't that picture of Mia in the upper right corner just scream "Little Renee"? Seriously. That girl cracks me up. We thought she was Mini-Beck for a long time, but she's actually Mini-Renee. Love it.
After dinner, we took Benji back to the club, then we went to the "Golden Mickeys" show. It was pretty good, though I don't remember much about it. I'm pretty sure that's when they did "Can You Feel The Love Tonight," and I just fell in love with those two performers (the ones who were Nala and Simba). They were fantastic. I'd see them around on the boat, and I was totally star-struck. I should have been the one getting autographs! Geez!
Afterward, we went to see the Hypnotist show. That was seriously funny. Poor Lexy really wanted to do it, but she totally tripped on her way up to the stage! Face plant! She thinks everyone thought she was really drunk, but whatever. It was pretty funny. The funniest part was the hand-puppets to "Bohemian Rhapsody." I was dying! There was a little One-Hit Wonders dance party after that, and I rocked at it. I knew most of them, but I didn't volunteer for many. There was a "reward shot" for anyone who got the artist and the song correct. When I got up there and told him I didn't want the shot, he gave me a non-alcoholic one. Of course, the family didn't know it was virgin, so when I downed it, they were pretty shocked! I wish I had seen their faces! It took me a while to convince them that it was indeed fruit punch. I guess I'm not very trustworthy, eh?
So that was it for Monday. Busy, relaxing, formal, fun. It was a good time.
I've gotta sleep. You see, this is why I'm having a hard time blogging this thing! I'm up way too late, and I have to work! You're welcome! ;o)
10 March 2012
Let Me Put You On A Ship
It's hard to even start writing about our vacation. There's so much that happened, and I took more than 1,000 pictures (yeah, yeah, I know I have a shutter problem). I'll try to stick to very basic photo editing so that I can get something on here while it's still fresh in my brain. I am going to have to do it in installments. I'll start with an overview, then I'll probably do more detailed posts later.
Friday, February 24: Allen had given me a gift certificate to "Just Perfect Salon" for my birthday, but I hadn't had the opportunity to use it yet. I really needed to get my hair done before the cruise, so I made an appointment for 11am. I had hoped we could get out of town earlier, but the hair took priority. It only took her a couple of hours, and now I am much more blonde (and I look much more put-together). She also put in some strawberry (reddish) highlights, though those have mostly faded. It's okay, though. I'm liking it more and more. We ended up leaving about 3pm, and drove to St. George. We met up with my friends Shelly and Shauna for dinner, and we stayed in Shelly's mom's basement for the night.
Actually, I've changed my mind. I wrote a rather long blog entry while staying at the Adams' house, and I can't think of a better time or place to put it. Alors, voila quoi.
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2/24/12
Okay, back to the vaycay overview. And no, I didn't take any pictures on Friday or Saturday. Sorry.
Saturday, February 25: We drove from St. George to Los Angeles, and did fairly well with time, only stopping in Primm for gas. I finished reading The Hunger Games (Book 1) that afternoon. We went to Tollene's house and hung out for a bit. We went out with Dom for some karaoke, and stayed in a hotel that night. Yes, I sang (The Scientist by Coldplay {a horrible choice for karaoke, btw} and later Don't Stop Believin' by Journey). I'm a much better singer in my car than I am into a microphone, but it is fun. It gets the adrenaline pumping a bit.
Sunday, February 26: We had some errands to run, then we picked up the boy and drove to the Port of Los Angeles. We got a little lost, but I'm glad we set out early. Allen's mom came with us, and she drove my car back to her house so we wouldn't have to pay for parking. When we arrived at check-in, they asked us if anyone in our party had vomiting or diarrhea. We mentioned Benji's motion-sickness puking (there was a lot of it, and I have a bit of an honesty problem), so after getting everything else settled, they put us in a side room to talk to a nurse. It turns out that the registration gal marked vomiting and diarrhea, and when the nurse took his temperature, it was 99.7. Gah! I was getting worried we would miss the boat! Eventually we convinced them that he was okay, and they let us on board. We weren't the very last, but there weren't many people behind us. We got to our room, then went to Guest Services and to the Oceaneer Club to discuss Benji (we missed the sail-away party). There was a nice gal named Tess who really helped us with him and reassured us that he would be okay. Anyway, we went to dinner at Animator's Palate and met Chatchai and Tumi, our servers. Here's a picture of me there. For the most part, I tried to avoid the camera (why do you think I have such a nice one?), but Sarah got this one of me.
Then Allen and I went to (a second) dinner at Palo, the adults-only restaurant. Both meals were incredible, but Palo was outstanding (and quiet!!), even if we missed the show that night to eat there.
I didn't take many pictures on Sunday because it was such a struggle to get everything done and settled. Here's a slideshow/link to my Sunday picture album on Picasa.
That's all I'm going to write tonight. More to come, I assure you.
Friday, February 24: Allen had given me a gift certificate to "Just Perfect Salon" for my birthday, but I hadn't had the opportunity to use it yet. I really needed to get my hair done before the cruise, so I made an appointment for 11am. I had hoped we could get out of town earlier, but the hair took priority. It only took her a couple of hours, and now I am much more blonde (and I look much more put-together). She also put in some strawberry (reddish) highlights, though those have mostly faded. It's okay, though. I'm liking it more and more. We ended up leaving about 3pm, and drove to St. George. We met up with my friends Shelly and Shauna for dinner, and we stayed in Shelly's mom's basement for the night.
Actually, I've changed my mind. I wrote a rather long blog entry while staying at the Adams' house, and I can't think of a better time or place to put it. Alors, voila quoi.
............................
2/24/12
It has been a long day. I can't believe it was just yesterday that I went to "Parent-Teacher Conference" with Miss Erika (and with monsieur in tow). About the conference--I seriously love Miss Erika. I love that they love Benji, that they know him and his quirks and they are sincerely trying to help him. Anyway, she gave me a report on his progress for the year so far. As far as understanding and completing commands, he's not really there yet. The goal was/is to hear and obey two-step commands. He can perform one-step commands (when he wants to . . . he can be a bit stubborn), but two-step is still a way off. So are social skills, and playing with toys appropriately. He'd rather spin toys than play with them the way they were intended to be played with. There's not a lot of progress, but there is some. They gave him a huge jump in language and speech, (75% increase!), because he has started counting and using words and signs to communicate wants and needs. He can recognize and repeat letters and numbers. He likes to count to himself; he usually skips 5, but he does pretty well up to twelve. Then he fudges a little, and gets to about twenty (at least, I think that's what he's saying!). He does very well with "Book Awareness," meaning that he can tell if a book is upside-down, and he'll put it right and go to the beginning and "read" it. He has been doing that for a long time, so I don't think that's such a huge deal. Whatever. He certainly has a long way to go before he'll be on-par with regular kids, but considering where he started this year, he has come a long way. I really am proud of him.
........................
Side note: Benji and I were in the hallway of Lincoln Elementary while we were waiting for our turn, and a couple of different kindergarten classes walked by. Benjamin is the same size as most of those kids. Some were bigger, some a little scrawnier, but he could easily pass for a 5-6 year old. I don't really mind that; it's just a little frustrating when people think he should be able to carry on a full conversation, respond appropriately to questions, take himself to the bathroom, etc. Yes, I get to "have him as a baby longer," and I shouldn't compare him to other kids. It's just really hard not to. And when he does go to Kindergarten, he'll be one of those bigger kids. I just hope the others don't make fun of him. But then, Benji wouldn't care what anyone else thought. I guess I should be more like that, too.
Well, after PTC, I had to go to work. It was a pretty good shift--quite a lot of plastics, which I enjoy. I got to scrub a gnarly GSW to the hand (in case you were wondering, you probably shouldn't put your hand in front of a loaded semi-automatic weapon when you have a finger on the trigger. I'm just sayin'.) Also, don't use Meth. To quote from Super 8: "Drugs are so bad!"
So I came home after work last night, and cleaned. I had left Allen with a list of things to do, since I know they wouldn't have been done otherwise. He did start the dishwasher, but I kept finding dishes all over the house and loading them in, when I realized it was onto the drying cycle. *sigh* So I had to start the whole thing over again. I folded some laundry and wrote thank-you notes for Benji's birthday. When I finished that, I had some other things to do, but I was so exhausted that I fell asleep on the couch. I stayed there all night.
When I woke up this morning, I tried to get rolling fairly early. Allen was still asleep, and the boy was talking to himself in his room. I got him up and tried to take him to the potty, but he wouldn't go. So after about 30 minutes, I got him ready, started another load of laundry, started packing, and took a shower. Then I went to the "Just Perfect Salon" to get my hair done by Sarah's hairdresser, Nikki. She's really nice, and she did a good job. Instead of the ugly, faded mousy brown, it's now more of a strawberry blonde, and she cut off a good 4-5 inches. My hair really picks up anything red, and the roots were so grown out that they picked up a LOT of color. So it looks a little bright and brassy at the roots and darkish underneath, but in a couple of weeks, it will look FANTASTIC. It's much better now than it was, but it will take me a while to get used to it.
Anywho, after the salon, I went home and packed. Gads--what an nightmare! I'm sure we forgot some stuff (like Benji's soap and toothpaste . . .). It also took a bit longer than expected; we didn't leave town until after 3pm. When we finally did get on the road, we had to make a couple of stops. One of those was, yes, at the 7-Eleven for some Diet Coke. I almost felt guilty about drinking it. Yes, it's the first time I have had one in 2012, but I was a little bothered by the whole thing. I did break it open eventually, and it tasted divine. I'll probably give it up again once I get home, but for now--I'm enjoying it. And you can bet I'll be taking advantage of the free refills. ;o)
I'm not sure if I blogged about it last month, but I read all three books in the "Hunger Games" series over the course of about 5 days. It only took me that long because I didn't have the second book; I had to go purchase it. I bought it and read it that same night, then read the final book the following night. They are pretty quick reads (and I'm a fairly fast reader), but the real reason why I devoured them like that is because it is such a good story. It is violent, but it is very well-written. Anyway, I wanted to re-read them before the movie comes out in a few weeks, so I brought the books with me. I may not do a lot of reading on the boat, but (thankfully) I can read while in the car. I asked Allen if he wanted me to read to him, and he said, "Sure." It does serve several purposes: it means we don't have to listen to Allen's terrible electronic "music", it means we don't have to talk, and it keeps both of us awake. He is a better long-distance driver than I am; I tend to get sleepy. So I don't mind reading (though my voice is a little hoarse). I think he's liking it so far; we are about 1/3 of the way through the first book already.
We had to stop in Cedar City for gas. Benji had taken a pretty long nap earlier, and I had given him a granola bar to tide him over before dinner. Unfortunately, Benji tends to get carsick. He had dry-heaved a bit, but nothing came up. We stopped at a gas station, and I hopped out and washed the windshield. Then I opened Benji's door to check on him, and he was covered in puke. Poor little dude! He looked so sad! It was all over him; he had even gotten it in his hair. So I walked him to the restroom in the gas station and cleaned him up and changed his clothes. The pros: he did pee in the potty for me, and he was clean when we met up with Shelly and Shauna at Red Robin. The cons: I ended up clogging the sink after rinsing out his clothes, and he decided to wipe his grubby little hands on my pants. Very classy.
He did okay the rest of the way to St. George. We had a nice dinner, and he ate his apple slices and drank his lemonade. He didn't touch his chicken fingers, but he ate a couple of fries. I thought that wasn't too bad, considering how yucky he was feeling. It was fun to sit and talk to Shauna and Shelly. I love those girls! I can't believe we have known each other for almost 15 years. I was roommates with both of them in college, and they are both smart and funny and cool. We keep up with each other (by blog mostly), and usually Christmas cards. I did send one to Shelly, but it was the wrong address. So she didn't get one (sorry, babe). Even so, we can just sit and talk and there isn't any pretense or weirdness. I'm so glad I got to see them.
While we were driving, I texted Shelly to let her know we were on our way. She asked where we were staying tonight, and I still didn't know. I hadn't made any arrangements yet (I'm such a slacker!), so she offered to let us stay in her Mom's basement in St. George. I'm so glad she did, because a) it's free!, and b) Benji totally puked up his dinner in the five minutes it took us to get from Red Robin to Shelly's mom's house. Honestly, I have never seen him puke that much. Ever. He looked so sad when we got him out of the car. I took him straight in and put him in the bathtub. Then he had his own little room to go to sleep in. He does much better in his own room, so I'm very glad he'll get a good night's sleep tonight. THANK YOU, SHELLY (and Kathy), er, the Adams family. "Counting the cars on the New Jersey Turnpike."
So now I'm sitting on the couch in the Adams' basement, typing about this crazy day. Oh yeah--I forgot. When I tried to brush Benji's teeth, he got one taste of the toothpaste and spewed it out. And a lot of water, too. It even came out of his nose. :o( I'm a little worried about him! I don't know how he's going to do on the boat! I know he's dehydrated right now, but I'm not giving him anything else by mouth until morning. We'll have to stop at Wal-Mart and get some Gatorade and some anti-nausea medicine. I hope they have something he can take, or patches he can use. If not, I think we'll find an Instacare and maybe get some i.v. fluids into him. He was pretty perky going to sleep (he likes the queen-size bed!), so I hope it will get better in the morning. Here's hoping! California, here we come!
Okay, back to the vaycay overview. And no, I didn't take any pictures on Friday or Saturday. Sorry.
Saturday, February 25: We drove from St. George to Los Angeles, and did fairly well with time, only stopping in Primm for gas. I finished reading The Hunger Games (Book 1) that afternoon. We went to Tollene's house and hung out for a bit. We went out with Dom for some karaoke, and stayed in a hotel that night. Yes, I sang (The Scientist by Coldplay {a horrible choice for karaoke, btw} and later Don't Stop Believin' by Journey). I'm a much better singer in my car than I am into a microphone, but it is fun. It gets the adrenaline pumping a bit.
Sunday, February 26: We had some errands to run, then we picked up the boy and drove to the Port of Los Angeles. We got a little lost, but I'm glad we set out early. Allen's mom came with us, and she drove my car back to her house so we wouldn't have to pay for parking. When we arrived at check-in, they asked us if anyone in our party had vomiting or diarrhea. We mentioned Benji's motion-sickness puking (there was a lot of it, and I have a bit of an honesty problem), so after getting everything else settled, they put us in a side room to talk to a nurse. It turns out that the registration gal marked vomiting and diarrhea, and when the nurse took his temperature, it was 99.7. Gah! I was getting worried we would miss the boat! Eventually we convinced them that he was okay, and they let us on board. We weren't the very last, but there weren't many people behind us. We got to our room, then went to Guest Services and to the Oceaneer Club to discuss Benji (we missed the sail-away party). There was a nice gal named Tess who really helped us with him and reassured us that he would be okay. Anyway, we went to dinner at Animator's Palate and met Chatchai and Tumi, our servers. Here's a picture of me there. For the most part, I tried to avoid the camera (why do you think I have such a nice one?), but Sarah got this one of me.
Then Allen and I went to (a second) dinner at Palo, the adults-only restaurant. Both meals were incredible, but Palo was outstanding (and quiet!!), even if we missed the show that night to eat there.
I didn't take many pictures on Sunday because it was such a struggle to get everything done and settled. Here's a slideshow/link to my Sunday picture album on Picasa.
That's all I'm going to write tonight. More to come, I assure you.
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